Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy
by Cloud802
Summary: em·pa·thy/ˈɛmpəθi/ em-puh-thee –noun  1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.   Shinji/Asuka
1. Episode 1: Alpha

**Cloud Strider Presents:**

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

"Asuka... you okay?"

My question went unanswered, which only magnified my worry.

Why? I asked myself, why in the hell should I be worried about her? All she ever did was treat me like shit. I eyed the gun in my right hand apprehensively. Not only did she not need me, but that was the icing on top of the cake of my father's manipulation and my apparent uselessness.

I didn't need them at all.

I gritted my teeth.

_**Just one more day. Please, all I need is one more.**_

The gun clattered to the ground, and my thoughts of hostility left me. Uselessness, huh? I kicked sand over the offending weapon, 'I don't need the damn thing anyways; not for what I'm about to do.'

I reminded myself of all that Asuka and I had just been through, and my hatred died. We were both...

She and I.

I chastised myself for even thinking of such a thing. I punched myself in the arm just for good measure and let my gaze fall on the blood red water that lay in front of me. Rei was floating above it a good way out... staring at me.

The whole thing sent a chill down my already frozen spine.

I walked to Asuka, a slight limp in my step.

I fell to my knees by her.

"Sorry," I said. She probably couldn't hear me, nor would she know that I was apologizing for my earlier thought, but I didn't care at that moment. I let my body fall the rest of the way, and I was lying on my side... looking at her. "I don't even know you all that well."

God...

Ha, what a laugh.

What kind of God would allow something like this to happen anyways?

**Episode 1: Alpha**

_"We're sorry, due to the state of emergency no lines are currently available, this is a recording."_

I cursed under my breath, slamming the pay phone back onto the cradle and letting out a sigh. If she asked me to wait here for her then why was she so late anyways? Was it because the emergency declare? I looked up at the sky, completely blue, not a natural disaster in sight. To my left and right it looked like I had wandered into some abandoned city. Cars lay scattered in random places, as if people just braked really hard, got out and ran somewhere, and left them on the side of the road.

I was appalled at my own stupidity.

I should have noticed that all the railway lines were stopped the minute I set foot on station.

Paranoia slowly began to creep into me, and I felt a horrible sense of dread, like my life was about to end.

I heard the faint sound of jet engines.

I turned to my left again where it had come from.

A short girl with light blue hair and red eyes stood in the middle of the opposite street, staring at me in a school uniform.

I blinked and she was gone.

The jet engines only got louder, and I looked up at the sky.

Well...

So much for a normal school year I guess.

The Earth shook and a piercing wind reached my ears.

A line of small mountains was in the distance. When I regained my footing I saw the large group of VTOLs first, backing out of the cover of the hillside. The Earth shook several more times, and only when I saw it did I understand why...

It was a black skeletal thing with what looked like white shoulder pads and bones running through its body like ribs, but there were too few. It had no neck, and its face was what looked like a small skull with an extremely thin jaw. It was at least twenty times the size of the VTOLs it seemed to be backing into a corner. In the center of its chest was a large red sphere.

My mind screamed and I felt an unbelievable pain shoot through my spine. I grasped at my head. It felt like something wrapped its claws around me. I stumbled away from the phone booth and onto the sidewalk, tripping over my own feet. The pain wouldn't stop.

**Just one more day, please.**

"DAMMIT!"

I felt my own fingers digging into my skull, my hands became sore and I felt the pressure, but the real pain was coming from the inside. I heard what sounded like a whisper, but I didn't understand it. I collapsed onto the street, trying not to scream bloody murder.

**Please.**

I heard the wind and saw the missiles fly over me from the VTOL.

They hit that... thing head on.

My head became clear and the pain subsided, maybe it was coming from whatever the hell that giant was. Part of me was hopeful that the several missiles had annihilated it, but that hope faded when the smoke receded and the pain came back. This time I was ready for it. It felt like someone was digging around inside my skull, trying to find something... it was crawling around in my mind.

I rubbed my temples, trying to get a grasp on the situation and ease the killer migraine.

Run...

I bolted in the opposite direction...

I heard something shatter and explode, and a VTOL came crashing down in the street not twenty yards away from me.

I let out an embarrassing yelp of fear, stumbling back and straight onto my ass.

I gritted my teeth, standing back up and running to the right just as a concrete slab came tumbling right where I had fallen. I swear I could hear the screams of fear and pain coming from the pilot, but my survival instinct was in high gear, and I didn't exactly have time to rush over and see if he was okay. If he forgot to eject he was probably crushed by the pressure from the impact... already dead.

I rushed into a vacant building and heard something shatter, the ground below my feet vibrated.

It looked like some sort of office building judging by the pristine lobby and check in counter, but by the time my mind had processed the information I was already on the opposite end, barraling out from an emergency exit and resetting my dead sprint.

I heard several more explosions, but my mind was elsewhere at the moment. I moved with purpose, I had to get as far away from that monstrosity as possible.

I came out in an alleyway, immediately turning left onto another street. I looked around to gain my bearings and eyed whatever the hell that thing was once more. It was tearing the VTOLs apart. It held its hand up suddenly, and I saw a large projectile from a bomber impale itself on the things arm.

It clenched its 'fingers' and the bomb exploded, but it was nothing compared to the destruction it could have caused had it hit its target.

I once again set myself into a sprint down the street, carrying myself as far from that 'battle' as possible.

'I should never have come here...'

I heard a high pitched whistle.

My eyes widened when the VTOLs and the bombers started flying in the direction I was going above me...

An N2 mine.

I ran as fast as my legs would carry me.

The last thing I heard was a sound that pierced my eardrums.

I was sent flying.

I didn't know how far up in the air I was...

I blacked out...

* * *

><p>"Impressive, it can upgrade itself; its getting more intelligent."<p>

His eyes narrowed.

"Mr. Ikari, this is your chance you know." The General leaned forward on the large steel desk, flanked by two more highly ranking individuals, "Nothing we used on that damn thing worked. Don't let us down."

He smirked, pushing the amber glasses up on his nose, "This is what NERV exists for."

The General nodded.

* * *

><p>"He's alright, wheel him out."<p>

My eyes snapped open...

I saw a steel roof.

I felt like I was moving but not really.

"We don't have much time."

"I can't believe you actually want him to do this."

"We have no choice, Rei is hurt and Unit Zero is still undergoing repairs."

"But Ritsuko..."

"Misato. This has to be done."

I grunted in pain, trying to sit up.

"He's awake."

From what I could see I was in what looked like a small hospital room. There were two people towering over me by the bed I was in, both were women. One had shoulder cropped blond hair and seemed like she had just got done with a real bad day, the other had long purple hair that ran down to her mid back... she looked deathly worried. I brought a hand to my head, "What happened to me?"

The woman with the longer hair turned on me, "You idiot!" she screamed, slapping me across the face, "You were supposed to wait for me, I was coming to get you!"

I brought a hand to my cheek, I felt anger rise in my chest, but calmed it, convincing myself that she was worried about me. "I did what any normal person would do..."

She seemed to calm down, "Oh jeez, you're right. I'm sorry. My name is Misato, Misato Katsuragi. This is Ritsuko Akagi, a lead scientist for NERV."

"Shinji Ikari. NERV huh? My father's agency?"

I used the word father loosely, but I didn't know these two very well so blood was probably the only association between us that they knew of, what bugged me was that was even the only one that I knew about.

Misato nodded, "Just call me Misato, I hate formalities."

I nodded right back, "Misato, Akagi-san. Where am I?"

"You're at the Geofront," said Akagi, "We had you wheeled in after Misato found you."

I could tell already that her personality was strict in comparison to Misato, who seemed extremely laid back and easy to get along with. I decided it was better getting to know Misato instead, "A Geofront huh? Why not just a regular hospital?"

Misato looked downcast for a second, "You're being brought in on staff as a pilot for a prototype."

Honest as well, that was a good trait to have. I said the first thing that came to mind, "I'm fourteen."

Misato laughed nervously, scratching her cheek a little and looking off to the side.

Akagi nodded, "And that is precisely why, I believe your father sent you an ID?"

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a lazily scrawled note with a NERV ID attached. "I see," I mumbled. At first I thought it was strange, just randomly bringing me to NERV and the Geofront and giving me an ID. If he were anyone else's father it would make sense, considering as he would want to show me what exactly he did for a living. Last time I saw him there were few words uttered, and now I understood. I stood from the bed, there was a slight pain in my right shoulder but that was it. "I can't guarantee that I could pilot something. I've never had any training and I'll probably just end up dead."

The two remained silent after that, so I continued, "What was that thing that was attacking outside?"

"An angel," said Akagi.

She didn't say anything after that, so I was inclined to think that everything else in that brain of hers was on a need-to-know basis.

"Shinji..."

I looked up at the small door to the room, standing there was my father...

He wore a pair of glasses, amber, and was dressed in the primary color of black. I knew instantly that he hadn't changed a single bit, "Father..." I said curtly, barely bowing my head.

It was more out of fear than respect when I bowed to him, more out of contempt than greeting.

"Follow me," he said simply, turning on his heel and walking out.

The three of us remaining eyed each other apprehensively for a moment before following his instructions. He led us down corridor after corridor. It was all steel and the doors were labeled in random numbers and names that I had trouble deciphering on their own. "Why'd you call me?"

I could almost hear Akagi and Misato shift uncomfortably behind me, obviously my father and I were weighing down the atmosphere with our clear antagonistic tendencies. "Because you have a use."

He said nothing else.

The last corridor was followed by a long and painfully silent elevator ride up what seemed to be the entire geofront itself on a diagonally inclined lift. It was simply a platform with railing, which left me slightly nervous. I looked down into what seemed to be a purple abyss of mist and saw a giant hand reaching out as if to grasp me.

I let the shiver roll down my spine.

It wasn't until we entered the room itself that I understood exactly what I was getting myself into. There was a light scent of copper in the air, and I sniffed my nose to compensate for the run it gave me, "This is Unit One," said my father.

The catwalk reached across the entire room and onto the shoulders of what seemed to be a giant robot. 'You must be kidding me.' Its head looked menacing and powerful, with narrow eyes completely black. A horn protruded from its skull, and a pair of green fins from its shoulders. The overall color was a mute purple.

"You want me to pilot that?"

"That's what I said," grumbled Misato, but she shut up when my father turned his gaze towards her.

I felt something...

It was like when I looked at the angel, but instead of stumbling around in my head like a blind idiot...

It was almost like a gentle touch.

I walked to the center of the catwalk slowly and stopped, turning towards the monstrosity. It was submerged almost up to its neck in some strange red liquid, which is what I assumed the strange copper smell was coming from. I reached out to its face as if to touch it, but it was too far away.

"What's he doing?" I heard Misato ask.

My father chuckled.

"What does that thing out there want?" I asked, letting my arm drop and turning back to them.

"To destroy us all," said my father, pushing his glasses up and smirking as if he had just told a joke.

I glared at him, "So you ditch me and call me back when you want me to pilot this thing?"

He nodded.

My father was never one to mince words.

"Fine, but on one condition."

He raised an eyebrow, "Yes?"

"After I'm done with whatever I'm supposed to be doing here... you never contact me again."

He nodded once more.

**Just one more day.**

'I won't run away.'

* * *

><p>"Inserting plug."<p>

The 'cockpit' lurched, and I gained the sensation that I was floating for a moment. I felt something click and whir, and the motion was stilled. One by one the small lights turned on and I was able to see. My hands reached out and grasped the handles on my side. A large steel plate was over my waist; it felt like I was being carried by a kangaroo almost.

_"Systems check in progress. Converting interface to Japanese."_

_"LCL deploying."_

The strange liquid from before began to fill the cockpit. On instinct I started to hold my breath.

_"Relax..."_ I heard Misato's voice, _"The LCL will supply your body with oxygen, you can even talk. Your lungs will feel weird but you'll get used to it."_

I heard something large whir slowly and then start.

My grip tightened.

What the hell was I doing here?

**_"To destroy us all."_**

That was all he said.

Was it some twisted obligation? Couldn't they get someone else to pilot this monstrosity?

_"EVA LAUNCH!"_

Fuck it.

I lurched again.

It felt like I was sent flying upwards.

The sudden stop did little to calm my nerves.

_"Good luck Shinji, don't die."_

Well that was helpful Misato.


	2. Episode 2: Angel

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 2: Angel**

_"Release safety locks!"_

I felt something lurch again, and the Eva stumbled forward slightly. The area of the city around me was dark, and the sky was grey.

For a moment it felt as if the world had ended, and it was just me... face to face with this monstrosity in front of me. Then the communicator flared.

"Shinji, just focus on walking right now."

The voice was Misato's.

I took a deep breath. "Walk," I said gently, "Walk." The Eva lurched forward, and a foot hit the ground. The angel started to move forward as well. Balance was iffy. It was like learning how to ride a bike.

I took another deep breath, and as the angel drew closer panic crept into me.

MOVE!

The Eva lurched clumsily to the right as the angel tried to grab for it. The Eva smacked straight into the side of a large building, I could feel it crumble as if I were the one that fell onto it. A pain shot through my already bad shoulder.

What the hell?

The robot's pain was being projected onto me?

The angel moved quickly this time, with a purpose.

It reached down and grabbed my right arm. My bad shoulder twinged in pain.

I saw it...

**_The N2 mine exploded..._**

**_I landed in a pair of arms..._**

_"Shinji! Get out of there!"_

Misato's worried voice again, _"Shinji!"_

The robot's limbs were mine.

I felt my right arm twist and the bone broke. I screamed out in pain.

"Shinji! Please, it's not your real arm, calm down!"

I couldn't calm down.

My left leg flung out, kicking the Angel in the side and sending it reeling. I felt my arm crack again and screamed, "You son of a bitch!" I grabbed the angel's face with my left hand and squeezed.

I saw red, "I'll kill you!"

I squeezed harder.

I saw some kind of liquid spraying out of the thing.

Strangle...

Maim...

Kill...

Bleed...

Destroy...

I felt something physically snap within me.

It felt great.

Liberating.

Unleashing.

The angel reached out in desperation, grabbing my head and squeezing.

I felt something pop and heard a male voice.

_"Heavy damage to the skull! Right arm has been cut!"_

Something leaked out over the cockpit's window. It was red and smelled of copper. I grinned...

And woke up...

I could hear the cicadas outside, letting me know inadvertently that the weather in the city was warm. The warm sunlight reached my cheek this time, so I knew I wasn't in the Geofront. This was now twice I had been in a hospital since I had been here. I snarled to myself, what the hell was the old man thinking making me pilot that monster?

What the hell was I thinking for saying that I would?

Ironic...

I had been reading up on Child Soldiers before I arrived at Tokyo 3.

It was... disturbing to say the least.

Almost like part of me knew what was coming. I looked at my right arm, it was extremely sore, and the shoulder was swollen a bit, but less so than when I had woken up in Geofront. So that meant that even though I felt it the effects on the Eva weren't passed onto me.

Following my train of thought, what if something messed with the Eva internally? What would that do to my mind?

Especially with what I could do.

"One more day huh?"

I mumbled the words to myself. I wondered where I would be right now if that never happened.

Piloting this thing was dangerous.

Way too dangerous.

* * *

><p>The chairs were alight, projecting the faces and bodies of five old men. Gendo sat at the end, pondering on whether or not he had just explained the situation as accurately as possible.<p>

"So the angels have returned..."

"Yes," said Gendo, leaning forward and resting his hands with each other.

"It seems NERV will have to go public now."

"That leaves it with the dilemma of deciding HOW to go public."

"Ikari, are we to understand that you've activated Unit One as well?"

There was no point in lying...

"Yes."

"I see, your budget is through the roof with this Eva project, sometimes I question your competency when you focus on something like this."

Gendo's eyes narrowed.

"Indeed, your focus should lie with the Human enhancement project."

Another nod, "I agree, without that we won't be able to make any particular leaps in humanity's future."

The old man across from Gendo held his hand up, "We'll consider adjusting the budget." The four old men on either side of Gendo disappeared, leaving only him, "This is your last chance."

The last man disappeared.

"I know," said Gendo.

* * *

><p>I flexed my right hand.<p>

Fist...

Palm...

Fist...

Palm...

The waiting room was dead quiet and large. The chairs faced out to a large wall made up entirely of glass, gazing down on the city outside. I continued flexing it.

I saw the Eva's hand...

Fist...

Palm...

Fist...

Palm...

Fist...

Palm...

I stopped, rolling my shoulder and letting out a sigh. The quiet was getting uncomfortable, and I was almost relieved when I heard the sound of footsteps. Misato was ordered to pick me up it seemed. I figured as much, knowing that he wouldn't bother to lift a finger. I rolled my neck and heard it lightly crack, "I can't remember much," I grumbled.

Misato smiled, "Don't even worry about it. So, where you staying, at your dad's place?"

"Nope," I said, leaning back in the small chair and gazing at the white ceiling of the hospital, "No way is that happening."

Misato frowned, "What's that supposed to mean, you'll be staying alone?"

"I'm used to it... why?"

Her frown didn't fade, "How would you feel about staying at my place?"

I leaned back up and looked at her, dumbfounded, "Your place?"

She nodded firmly, "It wouldn't be a problem at all. In fact, I'd welcome it!"

She seemed super excited about this. Maybe she was worried about me after all. I gave credit where credit was due, "Alright... yeah, I'll do it."

She beamed, "Awesome, I just gotta let Akagi know."

* * *

><p>"You went and saw Rei today at the hospital, didn't you?" asked Ritsuko.<p>

Gendo nodded, "She can be back in a little under a month."

"I feel bad."

"Don't," said Gendo firmly, looking out the broken window of the building. Electricity was cut so the room was dark, and she couldn't make him out quite clearly, "Never... they're the only ones who can pilot the Evas."

Ritsuko nodded hesitantly.

* * *

><p>My eyebrow twitched, "You call this clean?"<p>

Her sheepish laugh didn't do anything to calm my ire, "Well, home sweet home right?"

"Ergh," I rolled my eyes, kicking aside a beer can, "If I knew it looked like this I would've turned down the offer.

Misato pouted, "Hey, that's not very nice Shinji. I ought to teach you some manners."

I set the bag full of microwaveable food and drinks onto the table, causing several beer cans to vacate the area and fall to the floor. "Where are your cleaning supplies?" I asked firmly.

The apartment was utterly and completely trashed. Blue trashbags that were full seemed to have their own pile in the corner, and empty beer cans covered every inch of the floor and table. The kitchen counter was swarmed with empty bottles of vodka, liquor, wine, and God knows what else.

"Um... cleaning supplies?" she asked meekly.

"You know, mop, broom, window washer, stuff like that."

"I've got some of that in the bathroom... I don't have a mop though." Her voice grew softer as she spoke, as if she were embarrassed.

Face...

Meet hand...

Misato panicked, her face flush, "I mean, I didn't expect you to react like this. I... um..."

"I thought you were the one who was supposed to take care of me, not the other way around," I said, letting my hand fall from my face.

"You seemed so shy!" she shouted suddenly, "And... and with your family..." she cut that sentence off, "Ergh just forget it, you should be a little more grateful, I'm giving you a place to live you know."

I rolled my eyes, laughing under my breath and prying open the bag, "We'll clean this mess tomorrow," I said, amusement lining my voice, "In the mean time, I am starving, I haven't eaten anything since I got here."

Misato grinned, "Alright, that's what I'm talking about!"

She seemed relieved for some reason. I let the moment pass and pulled out the first thing from the bag that looked good. "I'll start it up," I said, "You can put the rest of this in the fridge.

She grinned and nodded, giving me a mock salute, "Aye aye, just... I'll keep the beer out, there's not much room left."

"What are you an alcoholic?"

"Yes... I mean... maybe? No!"

"They have programs for that."

She frowned.

It seemed like we would get along, which was a good thing because I was a bit apprehensive about living at her place, especially since it was partially her fault that I was responsible for a two hundred foot tall twenty thousand ton robot.

But that was beside the point.

We sat down to eat after clearing the table and nuking the food. I wouldn't lie, it looked and smelled delicious, "This may be store bought but this is the good stuff," she said proudly.

"I should've known the second I saw your apartment that you'd be excellent at finding convenience store foods that taste good."

She glared at me, "What's that supposed to mean?"

I smirked, "Nothing."

We finished up and Misato stood quickly, "You've had a long day," she said gently, "I'll throw away this stuff and you can take a bath. I won't just leave it here don't worry."

I nodded and stood.

"Shinji, you did a great thing today, I don't want you to think otherwise." She smiled.

At her saying that, all the fear, anger, and terror I felt in the fight with the angel evaporated as if it were never there.

"Thank you... Misato."

I smiled right back.

* * *

><p>The bath was warm, and I was just glad the bed I tumbled into wasn't a stiff hospital bed again. I grabbed my SDAT player and shoved the ear buds into my ears before hitting the play button.<p>

Classical music sounded, calming my nerves.

25: Beethovan's 9th.

"One more day," I mumbled to myself.

Before I drifted off to sleep... I let my mind wander, and I questioned the events of my battle with the angel.

26: Midnight Sonata

* * *

><p>"DIE!"<p>

LCL spurted from my skull... or was that blood?

It didn't matter, I relished in the feeling of gripping that monstrosity's face and feeling it crumble.

The power to annihilate something.

I couldn't stop grinning.

_"Berserker!"_

_"That's impossible!"_

I swear I could hear the angel scream as I crushed it. The LCL spraying from my skull stopped, and I could feel my right arm again, I brought it up to the angel's skull with my left in order to speed the process. The angel's hand fell from my head and I squeezed harder.

It went limp and I let it fall to the ground.

My cheeks were starting to hurt, but I couldn't stop grinning. That red core...

I reached out to the angel's chest and knelt next to it, grabbing its ribs with both my hands and pulling with all my might.

It screamed again.

God that was a glorious sound.

Now it was weak, vulnerable, pathetic.

Like I was.

I grabbed the core and just started bashing it with my fist.

It wouldn't stop screaming.

Bash...

Bash...

Bash...

BASH...

The core began to crack.

It moved.

I could feel the angel dying as it wrapped its body around my skull.

_"It's going to self destruct, Shinji!"_

I started to laugh.

I don't know why.

It was just funny.

And then the explosion came...

It was like I was waking up from a dream I couldn't remember...

My eyes opened...

And it was over...

The fire and the smoke faded.

I walked alongside a high rise building, stopping in the middle of the street. The feeling that I had just MURDERED something was strong with me. It felt like I had just killed.

This thought disturbed me.

What disturbed me more was that I did it laughing like a madman.

That wasn't a dream. The fact that I was still in the Eva testified to that.

Half of the Eva's face fell to the ground, and yet I felt nothing. Feeling this was strange, I gazed into the windows of the high rise hoping to get a look of what was going on.

The inside of the Eva's head looked like flesh.

The flesh parted and I felt my stomach turn.

A large green eye opened.

I screamed and the Eva stumbled back onto the street, following my thoughts and reaction to what I had just seen.

What the fuck?

* * *

><p>Midnight Sonata ended, and I drifted off to a deep and slightly troubled sleep.<p>

What did I see?


	3. Episode 3: Instability

The plugsuit fit me like a glove, which was exactly what the problem was. I fidgeted uncomfortably in the cockpit, hands tightening slightly around the control handles. "Okay Shinji, are you ready?"

I nodded, "As ready as I can be after what happened last time."

"Do you know how Eva's are powered Shinji?"

"Not really," I muttered.

The white room around me fell away, and I found myself in a reconstruction of my battle the other day.

Eva 01 held a gun this time, an automatic rifle is what it seemed like.

Ritsuko continued, "Normally we power them through the city's electricity, hooking power terminals up to the Eva using an umbilical cord."

Ah... so that's what that troublesome cord was, "Is there a way to power the unit through any other means?"

If I was going to be piloting this thing I needed to know as much as I could about it, and not asking questions wouldn't help the situation. I asked myself again whether or not I was doing this out of some twisted obligation, but the truth was...

I more than likely was. I hated it, but my father knew how I ticked. How the man got inside my head after being absent my whole life I may never know, but all it took was that one sentence.

"Yes, but we're limited so far as backup power is concerned, once the cord is cut or interrupted the unit can only last for a little over five minutes, if the battery malfunctions then it gets cut to one.

"Okay Shinji, center the target in the reticle."

I nodded.

"Then squeeze the trigger switch."

The angel exploded.

"Good job."

That one sentence.

"Another target, keep it up."

**To destroy us all.**

I felt hatred.

Hatred for my father.

And hatred for the angels attacking innocent people.

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 3: Instability**

The classroom was nearly empty as usual. I sat down with a sigh, pulling out my book and pulling the earbuds out of my ears. The classical music was replaced by the gossip of the few remaining students left behind, one of them was the class rep, Hikari Horaki.

"Where is everyone," asked Hikari.

The boy sitting below her spoke, "I think they're all evacuated or moved, no one wants to stick around after that battle yesterday."

"I see."

I turned my head to the seats by the windows, sitting there in the very center of the row was a girl, heavily bandaged. It took me a moment to recognize her with all the crap she had wrapped around her. I stood from my seat garnering the attention of the two talking as I made my way to her, "My name is Shinji Ikari, what's yours?"

Her gaze slowly turned away from the window and towards me. "Rei Ayanami."

Her voice and her face both held no emotion... it made me slightly uncomfortable. It had only been a week since I had started going to school and I had yet to see her here. The right half of her head, including her eye, was wrapped up as well. "I saw you before," I said unsurely, "You were watching me."

She said nothing.

I could feel the stares of the two that were talking before. The whole situation was a bit uncomfortable to say the least. "So uh... if you ever need anyone to talk to just let me know." Parting with that I made my way back to my seat.

"She doesn't talk much Ikari-kun, come to think of it, neither do you," said Hikari.

I turned in my seat, facing the two, "Hikari Horaki right, and you are..."

"Kensuke Aoba," said the boy proudly. He was holding looked like a small model VTOL.

I nodded, "Well, it's not like we have a choice but to talk to each other now, everybody else is gone."

"So what do you think Ikari-kun?" asked Hikarii.

I raised an eyebrow, "About what?"

She spread her arms out, "This, aren't you a little scared?"

I looked to the side awkwardly.

The green eye.

The LCL.

Tearing that angel apart.

"Terrified," I said honestly, "Absolutely terrified. I don't know what's happening half the time."

It's not like I could tell them I piloted an Eva, but I didn't feel it would be right to lie about how I felt. I gazed back at the blue haired girl sitting by the window and narrowed my eyes. I adjusted myself to sit comfortably in the desk. She gazed back at me and we locked eyes.

Rei Ayanami...

I took a deep breath...

And looked into her pupils.

They were red.

Sad.

Lonely.

Unsure.

Trying.

Monster.

Death.

Those were the words they held. I turned away, trying to get air into my lungs. In all the times before then I could never recall seeing such eyes before. I had seen people that held sadness and regret, maybe suicidal thoughts, even depression...

But that, all of them at once? The last feeling in particular, disturbed me.

"You okay Ikari-kun?"

Hikari was the one who asked. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just got a bit dizzy all of a sudden," I said with a laugh, "It happens sometimes, don't worry about it."

The door slid open and in walked what seemed to be the last remaining classmate, "Good thing you decided to join us Touji," grumbled Hikari, "This place is getting abandoned it looks like."

Touji looked pissed. He made his way to the group and sat on a desk, "Yeah... turns out my sister got hurt in the last attack."

Hikari's eyes widened.

Touji was worried, very worried.

"She's recovering fine, but it's in an outside hospital and my parents are way too busy, so she's gonna be all alone. She got crushed under a falling building."

My eyes widened...

Did I do that?

Shit.

"That idiot pilot can't just go around destroying buildings! I hope there's some sort of reprimand for what that dumbass did!"

My day went bleak instantly. The building I fell on when I dodged the angel's first attack, was that where his sister was at, or did a building bite it when the angel exploded? God, I thought everyone had been evacuated already, I didn't think about the destruction we were causing... I was having too much fun.

My stomach turned.

Why had I acted like that?

Why was I laughing?

It wasn't like me.

"Excuse me," I said quickly, standing from my seat, "Let the teacher know I'll be late." I nodded to Hikari and left before she could get a word in edgewise.

I found the nearest bathroom and promptly emptied my stomach in the first stall.

Wasn't I piloting that damn thing to protect people?

I threw up until there was nothing left.

Dry heaves...

What the fuck did my father make me do?

What the fuck did I make myself do?

By the time I got back class was already underway and there were a lot more people. I sat down and opened the red notebook that the school had issued me, waiting for it to boot up. Luckily my late entrance didn't disturb the teacher's lecture about the second impact, which meant that Hikari had done as I asked.

When it was done booting I wasn't expecting the small 'Call' signal to pop up on the screen.

When I opened it a short chat window popped up.

'Are you the pilot of that robot? Y/N.'

I looked back to the teacher, and when I looked back down...

'C'mon, tell us. Y/N'

'N'

I heard several disappointed sighs sound in the classroom and shook my head. The rest of the class was calm and boring. When the bell rung I stood from my seat, leaving the book there and making my way to Touji's seat in the back. "Suzuhara," I said firmly.

He glared up at me.

"I need to talk to you."

* * *

><p>The punch hit hard, but I really didn't give a damn. I was sent tumbling back, and the few onlookers that followed us out let out a gasp. Hikari glared and shoved Touji away, "What the hell are you doing Touji?" she screamed, "He brings you out to apologize and you sock him in the face?"<p>

Touji cracked his knuckles, and I stood, flexing my jaw, "I deserved it."

"Damn right you did!" shouted Touji.

I dusted myself off after making sure my teeth were all in place. "As much of an asshole is my dad is, it was my choice to pilot it, and I won't take it back." He moved on me again, but he already got his payback. I grabbed his arm, shoving it to the side and reaching out with my right hand to grab his collar, "I pilot that God forsaken thing for one reason... to protect people like your little sister."

"Well you're doing a shitty job of that!"

I shoved him back, "I didn't even know she was in the building, as bad as I feel, as sick as it makes me, I had no way of knowing, but what if the angel had killed me? What if it went on to destroy the city? The military wasn't doing anything to help, missiles and bombs were useless. Your sister would be dead instead of just injured."

Touji gritted his teeth and cursed under his breath, "Just be careful in that fuckin' thing! And don't think I'll forgive you so easily."

I nodded firmly and Touji stormed off.

"Sorry about that," said Kensuke, bowing to me slightly, "He can get kind of temperamental at times, he probably would have wailed on you if you didn't talk him down like that."

"Don't worry about it, I hurt his sister, the least I could do is let him sock me." I shoved my hands in my pocket and sighed, "I don't know what I would've done if she'd been killed."

My mind wandered to the thought for a second, and as bad as I felt now it wouldn't even compare to what I would feel like if I had inadvertently killed his sister.

"Don't say that," said Hikari, "Touji is in the wrong here, not you! There would have been a lot more deaths if you hadn't piloted the robot."

"So," said Kensuke. Suddenly he was in my face, "What's it like man? You gotta tell me!"

I laughed and rolled my eyes.

Before I could indulge his curiosity, Rei appeared to the left of me, from where I had no idea. "There's an emergency," she said softly, "I'll go on ahead."

She ran off in the other direction.

I reached out, "Hey, Ayanami! What emergency?"

She didn't stop.

Just kept running.

That's when I heard the air siren.

* * *

><p>I was sure now that the problem of me being uncomfortable was the plugsuit's fault. Ritsuko had told me it fit like a glove, what she failed to mention was the fact that it fit like a really TIGHT glove. I felt the lurch as the plug unit was put into the Eva.<p>

The systems started up around me and I took a deep breath.

_"EVA LAUNCH!"_

I gritted my teeth against the Gs I was suddenly forced to endure. It felt like some sick carnival ride.

Again, the sudden stop at the end didn't help.

_"Remember Shinji, disable the target's AT field using your own, and then use the gun."_

I nodded firmly, "Got it."

* * *

><p>Kensuke grinned, flipping open his camera and hitting record. They took shelter in the woods of the small mountainside, just so they could get a nice view of the coming fight, "I can't believe I let you talk me into this," grumbled Touji, "If class rep finds out she is gonna be pissed."<p>

Kensuke ignored him as the Eva rose up, "Look there it is, check it out!"

"Let's go back to the evac shelter."

"No way man, this is too good to miss."

Touji rolled his eyes.

* * *

><p>I moved quickly, pulling out of the dock.<p>

What I saw startled me for a moment. A few football fields away was the second angel I had faced. It looked like some deformed dark purple eel. I leveled my weapon on it, remembering my training. "Alright you bastard."

I moved quickly, lowering my gun slightly and charging at the creature.

_"Shinji, what the hell are you doing?"_

The eel stood straight, and purple tendrils of light shot out either side of what looked like its head. As it stood I could see the core, just where the tail started, smack in the center of it.

I jumped into the air, still with my weapon.

I pulled my left hand from the gun and tackled the angel with a yell.

* * *

><p>Kensuke was gushing, "Holy crap this is so cool! He looks like he's about to kick that thing's ass!"<p>

Touji let out a noncommital grunt in reply.

* * *

><p>I held on tight, my left hand grasping its head as it struggled against me.<p>

_"AT field on the angel is showing signs of decreasing."_

I smirked.

Good, that's what I was going for.

I gripped it tighter.

'I need a stronger AT field.'

I wasn't a big shot scientist, so I didn't exactly know how AT fields worked, but it seemed like I could use my own to tear apart the angel's. I plugged the barrel of the gun into the monster's head.

_"AT field neutralized!"_

I pulled the trigger.

Blue blood spurted everywhere, gushing forth from the creature's head as I emptied the contents of the rifle into it.

It screamed.

One of the light tendrils cut through my weapon like it was butter, sending it crashing into the street below. I saw another tendril cut through a building just as the creature threw me away from it. I felt something snap...

_"The cords been cut, the Eva has five minutes!"_

_"Shinji, retreat!"_

As much as I was growing attached to the woman over the past few weeks Misato's screechy screams were getting the better of me, and sometimes I just wanted her to be quiet. I grunted in pain, straightening out my neck and cracking it.

Who knew getting thrown into a mountainside would be so excruciatingly painful?

Now I did apparently.

I let my gaze wander, and I'm glad I did, because it fell on two of my classmates, cowering in between two of the fingers on the Eva's left hand. Touji and Kensuke. My eyes widened in mute horror when I realized I could have crushed them, "Idiots!" I shouted, "What the fuck are you doing out here!"

_"Those are two of Shinji's classmates,"_ I heard Ritsuko say.

_"Shinji!"_ shouted Misato,_ "Get them into the cockpit and fall back!"_

I hit the button to the right of me and the plug lurched out and opened, "Get in!"

They nodded and climbed quickly, and the plug pushed itself back into the Eva.

_"Three minutes and counting."_

The angel was on top of me in the next second. The left tendril went for my arm, but I pushed myself to the side.

Touji and Kensuke screamed.

"Shut up!" I shouted.

_"Shinji, fall back now!"_

My grip tightened on the handles.

"Hey new kid, isn't that lady your superior, shouldn't you fall back?" asked Touji.

The angel moved again.

I ducked the two tendrils that tried to take my head.

_"Two minutes left!"_

I pulled a handle back and the fin on my shoulder opened.

_"Progressive knife has been activated."_

_"Shinji, what the hell are you doing? I told you to fall back!"_

I yanked the knife from the fin and it closed.

"I will never run!"

I closed in on the angel. Everything went blank, Kensuke and Touji's shouts of terror, Misato's orders of retreat, the clanging noise of the Eva moving.

It all vanished.

It was just me...

And the angel.

I brought the knife forward, thrusting it into the core...

And I twisted.

The angel screamed.

* * *

><p>I opened the door of Misato's apartment with a sigh. Pen Pen, Misato's pet warm water penguin greeted me by waddling up and squawking. I waved a little bit and mumbled something incoherent, heading back to my room.<p>

I still hadn't gotten used to that weird thing in the apartment, the first time I saw it was a week after I got here, waddling out of his little fridge before grabbing a beer and walking to Misato, who greeted him and thanked him.

I was so freaked out I didn't even bring up the subject, she just introduced me to him.

I fell onto my bed and sighed to myself.

I pulled out my SDAT player and shoved in my earbuds.

25: Beethoven's 9th.

God I was so exhausted, I just needed some damn sleep.


	4. Episode 4: Routine

My eyes snapped open to the roof of my small room. I let out a loud yawn and brought my legs over the side of the bed, rubbing my eyes. I hoped Misato's scolding yesterday when I got out of the Eva satiated her maternal instincts, I didn't think I could take another brow beating like that.

_I leaned back against the wall and turned my head to the left, eying the NERV logo, 'God's in his Heaven, and all is right with the world.'_

_"What the hell were you doing out there, I gave you an order, you can't just charge in like that!"_

_"It would have just chased after me."_

_"Even so, you could have been killed! I'm the tactics officer for a reason Shinji, you need to listen to what I say!"_

_I gave her that one, she was indeed the tactics officer, and her plan worked perfectly, despite being an extremely simple one. However, there was still the fact that my classmates were caught in the middle of that mess. "I was worried about those two, I didn't want them to get hurt if the Angel followed me back to HQ."_

_"That's just an excuse, you know as well as I do that they could've been hurt either way! Did you do it out of some stupid sense of honor?"_

_"Maybe," I said honestly._

_Her glare only sharpened, "Don't do it again!"_

I yawned again. I couldn't blame her; it was clear as day that she was worried about me, so I wasn't too annoyed at getting yelled at, but it still irked me a little.

I decided to start my morning routine and reached under my bed, pulling out a small paper notebook with a black pen in the spiral.

I took a deep breath and opened it.

A list of names with words under them greeted my eyes, the words were various emotional states.

'Misato Katsuragi: optimistic, unsure, maternal, happy.(Hiding something?)

Ritsuko Akagi: grounded, calm, calculating.

Kensuke Aida: excited, optimistic, hyper, curious.

Touji Suzuhara: angry, worried, hopeful.

Hikari Horaki: calm, maternal, open, short fuse.

Gendo Ikari: ...'

The pen found its way to my mouth and I chewed on it slightly. My father I didn't care much about filling out anymore, so I moved on to the next name.

'Rei Ayanami.'

This one was already filled in.

I remembered what I saw when I looked at her, what she let me know when she spoke to me. What her body language said, what the bandages said. I let the shiver roll down my spine. I felt like I was missing something as I closed the notebook. I decided that my top priority was to get to know Rei; she seemed like she could use it. I stood from the bed and pulled the earbuds from my ears, pocketing my SDAT player and walking out of my room. A grumpy Misato sat at the table with bed hair that looked like it was about to jump off her head and eat me.

Pen Pen waddled around under the chair and I smiled, "Does yelling at me really take up all that energy?"

She turned her glare towards me and I decided to keep my mouth shut.

She sighed and brought a hand to her face, "It's been a long night," she grumbled.

"You eat yet?"

She mumbled something incoherent and let her head fall onto the table. I shook my head with a laugh and made my way to the kitchen. Luckily she had a coffee machine, and here I was thinking she ran on beer all day, come to think of it she probably did. "Japanese?" I asked.

"Western."

I was surprised that she could speak coherently with the way she looked at the moment. I opened the fridge and set about finding some eggs.

About ten minutes later and the breakfast was set on the table. She lifted her head up, still with the bed hair, looking slightly better for the wear, "Where's yours?" she asked, her voice slightly raspy from her dry throat as she grabbed for the coffee and the chopsticks.

I shook my head and tapped my left wrist, "If I stay any longer I'll be late."

She smiled at me, her mood slightly improved, "Oh you're such a sweetheart. Thank you Shinji."

I nodded, "Anytime."

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 4: Routine**

"Dude, that was sooooo awesome!"

Kensuke was gushing and in my face the second I entered the class, but it didn't bother me too much. Honestly, whenever I got into the Eva I felt anything BUT awesome. I felt calculating, terrified, weary... mad.

But I didn't want to mess with his outlook, so I just smiled.

As usual, the trio and Rei were the first ones there, followed closely by me, the rest of the class didn't seem to like coming in until the last minute. I didn't mind much, as it gave me time to get to know the people around me. Hikari scowled at Kensuke, "Leave him alone, he's probably still tired from the fight."

Touji stood from his seat suddenly and walked briskly towards me. I made to defend myself, but when he spoke I wasn't expecting what he said, "Hit me."

"Wh..."

Kensuke stepped aside.

"Hit me," said Tuoji. "I was an idiot and I want you to hit me."

I nodded.

He stumbled back into the desk and I shook my right fist off. Touji looked satisfied and tossed me a smirk, "You look puny," he said, "But you're pretty tough aren't you?"

"Job security," I said.

Touji stood straight and put the desk back in place before turning back to me. He bowed slightly.

"His sister really chewed his ass, it was embarrassing," said Kensuke with a laugh.

"Shut up," growled Touji, shoving Kensuke.

"Getting chewed out by a little kid huh?" I asked, smirking. "Listen, you were worried about your sister. I probably would have hit me too." Tuoji turned back to me, giving a hesitant nod. I continued, "I don't just pilot the Eva because I'm supposed to. I pilot it because I chose to, because I knew it would help to protect people, even though I didn't really want to do it."

Hikari nodded with a look of approval, "He's pretty cool," she said.

"Wait, you ARE the pilot!"

My eyes widened and I turned around to the source of the voice, a short brown haired girl with glasses stood in the doorway flanked by several more students.

Crap...

The class erupted in chaos.

I was surrounded by gushing students before I had the chance to get away.

"Hey, hey why'd you lie about it?"

"Is it fun?"

"Were you scared?"

"How hard is it, is it like playing a video game?"

"Alright alright, quiet down everyone, sit down!"

I thanked the stars that Hikari chose that time to interfere.

Now I had something else to worry about on top of nearly getting killed by eldritch abominations.

* * *

><p>I sat in the small room adjacent to the Eva dock. The lone bench against the wall was hardly comfortable, but whenever I got done with a training session I would go there to think. The NERV logo constantly loomed behind me, reminding me that I was working in a top secret facility. My shoulder had finally stopped hurting just yesterday, but now I had something else to worry about.<p>

When the plug was put into the Eva...

My eyes narrowed.

It was a hallucination.

I was probably losing my mind.

Sometimes I felt like I had already lost it, and being sent into battle on a constant basis wasn't helping the matter.

**I'm sorry...**

I had heard those words very clearly, as if they came from everywhere. I tried to concentrate during the training session, but I was... off after I heard that, so Ritsuko told me to go take a break.

"You alright?" Misato asked as she stepped off the catwalk and through the door.

"Something weird happened," I said.

She sat down next to me, "What happened?"

I brought my hands to my head, "I heard a voice." I turned my head and looked past her, eyeing the Eva through the doorway before it shut, "When I was in the Eva."

Misato didn't bother to hide her worry, "Are you feeling okay? Are you sick?Sometimes people think they hear stuff when they aren't feeling well."

"Yeah, no I'm fine, it's just..."

Misato wrapped her arm around my shoulder and smiled warmly, "You probably just need a break. Don't come in tomorrow, I'll take care of Ritsuko and your dad for you. You know... you've saved a lot of people, you should be proud of yourself."

I felt like I was slightly unhinged. While I was glad we made up I was still worried about Touji's sister, and I had nearly killed him and Kensuke. "That last battle," I muttered.

"Hm?"

"That last battle. I almost crushed them."

She leaned her head on mine, but she didn't say anything.

What could you say to something like that?

"They don't make a very big deal out of it, but for some reason... I keep thinking... if I had landed just a few feet lower..."

She ran her hand through my hair and smiled softly, "They don't mind because you're their friend."

I nodded slightly.

"It may still bug you," she continued, "But if they're okay with you then there's no reason to beat yourself up about it." She ruffled my hair and grinned, "You're doing a lot better than I thought you would all things considered. You should be under twice the amount of stress you are right now. Don't worry about it too much though, stress, regret, these are natural reactions. It's still too soon for someone your age to be doing this."

I nodded.

Despite all that I knew, despite how much I tried to help people, despite the fact that I could do this to help people...

I smirked, "I'm fourteen."

She laughed a bit, "Yeah, yeah you are."

This was the second time Misato had helped me.

I wondered to myself if she had a reason for caring so much about me. She had been acting like this before she even knew me. I decided to think about it later, and simply took in the moment for what it was.

* * *

><p>I paced back and forth in my room, letting the SDAT player go on its own.<p>

25: Beethoven's 9th.

**I'm sorry...**

Those words had stuck with me ever since I got back to the apartment, and no matter how much I tried to let my thoughts wander, they always came back to those words.

I sat on my bed and rubbed my forehead.

It definitely had not come from the communicator, so it was nobody on the bridge or in the training room, nor had I imagined it; it was clear as day when I heard it.

Add that onto the fact that I fought monstrosities on a regular basis and the natural conclusion was that I was slowly losing my mind.

But...

26: Midnight Sonata

I didn't FEEL like I was losing my mind.

Insanity: doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.

I eyed my SDAT player and let a memory surface in my mind.

_"I'm sorry!" shouted the girl, bowing to me deeply, "I'm so sorry!"_

_I didn't say anything._

_She looked up at me wearily, "What's your name?"_

_I froze..._

_I didn't know what to say. Should I tell her my name, what did I do in this situation? "Shinji... Ikari..." I finally ground out._

_"My name is Haruko Otome, you can just call me Haru-chan, all my friends do."_

_Friends..._

_Right..._

_"I'll call you Shin-chan, kay?"_

_I nodded hesitantly._

_Who was this girl?_

_What did she want?_

_"You look confused," she said with a pout, "You shouldn't be, you also look a little lonely." She brought a finger to her chin, "And maybe just a teensy bit sad, or maybe a lot, I can't tell much. C'mon, let's go cheer you up!" she shouted excitedly, grabbing my hand and dragging me down the street._

25: Beethoven's 9th

Haru-chan...

I let my eyes close and drifted off to sleep.

"One more day."


	5. Episode 5: Rei Ayanami

-1 Month ago-

"0.2, 0.3, 0.4"

Gendo's eyes narrowed, this was Rei's moment. It was do or die. Her synch with Unit 00 was what was most important right now.

The orange Eva loomed over the giant testing room, clamped tightly to the wall. Its single red eye staring at Gendo. He pushed up his glasses and smirked, so far everything was going well it seemed.

He wouldn't have to call in the boy after all.

"Pulse has reversed!"

"Systems flashing, going critical, losing control of main nerves and junctions!"

Gendo cursed under his breath.

"The Eva just activated its ejection sequence!"

He gritted his teeth, out of all the shit that could go wrong...

He saw the plug hit the side of the wall violently, "Rei!"

It tumbled to the ground with a large clang, and the Eva grasped its own skull, thrashing back and forth like some insane monster. It moved on Gendo, punching the wall several times in its unbound rage. Luckily the wall and the observation window had been reinforced for incidents such as these, so it didn't do much damage aside from leave a massive dent.

"Suppression countermeasure deploying!"

A spray came from all sides of the Eva, drying almost the second it touched the legs.

"Umbilical cord ruptured, the Eva has thirty five seconds!"

Gendo ran from the observation room.

"Commander!" shouted Ritsuko, "Where are you going?"

He made his way down to the training deck just before the Eva had thrown its last tantrum, freezing instantly and powering down as the bakelite bound its legs. "Rei!" he shouted, running to the plug and grasping the manual release lever.

It scorched his hands and he jumped back with a scream as his glasses fell to the ground, "Dammit, Rei!" He moved on the lever anyways, pulling with all his might and gritting his teeth as the heat from the plug literally fried his hands.

Finally, after his agony, the lever locked and the plug opened.

He leaned in, "Rei, are you alright?"

She turned to him with a dazed look... and nodded hesitantly.

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 5: Rei Ayanami**

The work area was abuzz that was for sure. Right when I got home from school I got a call from Misato telling me to come here, and immediately after flashing my NERV ID I was handed a hard hat and told that Misato was in the third office across from the Angel remains. I held my school notebook along with my paper one in my left hand, tucked under my arm, as I made my way to said office.

The remains of the angel were a sight to behold, it took standing in front of it as a human up close for me to truly realize the magnitude of what I had accomplished... twice... giant robot or no.

The 'office' it turned out, was a small trailer, and when I peaked inside I saw Ritsuko and Misato pouring over a single computer in the corner.

"Oh! Shinji, perfect timing!" Misato moved on me and dragged me, stumbling into the trailer, "You're an Eva pilot, you need to know this stuff."

Ritsuko began, "I've been examining all the samples we've received from the Eva so far, and I found something interesting." She hit the enter button on the keyboard and a series of strings and boxes popped up that I couldn't begin to understand.

"What am I looking at here?" I asked skeptically.

Ritsuko nodded, "The angel's structure and matter... I ran it, and it's a 99.89 percent replica of what we are."

I nodded, "So in Laymen's terms... the angels are like us."

"Yes and no," grumbled the scientist, "They're not like us at all, just look at them. Then again, the 'core' seems like it would be a heart. That theory is extremely loose though, if you asked me I'd say the core was the center of an angel's existence itself."

I tilted my head, "You mean like a soul."

"For lack of better comparison... yes."

"Easy!" I heard a familiar shout outside.

I walked to the door and peaked out.

My father was directing what seemed to be a crane lift, lowering part of the Angel's shattered core.

"Where's the rest of it?"

"The core was shattered pretty bad on this one sir, we're still searching."

"Well hurry it up, we don't need anymore delays."

My eyes narrowed when he put his hands behind his back. Burn scars on his palms...

I wasn't a medical expert or anything, but from how healed they were I'd have to say they'd been there for a while.

"Hey Misato," I said softly, still eying his hands, "Where'd the burn marks on my father's hands come from?"

"Oh that?" I turned back to her as she began to explain, still standing in the doorway, "About a month ago, when the first synch test on Unit Zero was ran, Rei was ejected from the Eva and got hurt real bad. Your father ran out there and opened the scorching hot plug with his bare hands to get Rei out, pretty impressive huh?"

I let out a scorned laugh, "Bullshit."

"No really," said Misato, frowning, "Why would I lie about something like that?"

I nodded and made my way to the desk, setting my notebooks down well away from the two women and prying open my paper spiral.

I wrote quickly.

Gendo Ikari:

I didn't put an emotional concept or word by his name. I decided to go for something a little more straightforward this time.

'Rei Ayanami: Tool? Eva pilots a means to an end?'

"Whatcha writin' Shinji-kun?"

I slammed it shut and tossed Misato the best smile I could muster at the moment, "No, it's nothing, don't worry about it, just a little record keeper." I tried to act nonchalant and carefree like I always did with Misato, but it was hard with this new thought swimming around in my head.

I knew my father had brought me here to use me as a tool...

But to what extent did that go?

My question bothered me.

Was my purpose here defeating the angels and saving people?

Or was it something else?

The only reason I could think of for my father to save a girl like Rei was because she was useful to him.

I had to warn her.

"Aww c'mon Shinji! Lemme see!" She grabbed for it like a child.

I held it up in the air.

Despite the fact that she was slightly taller than me I managed to keep it out of her reach. I stuck my tongue out at her, "No way, these are my private thoughts!"

"Ooooo, you have a diary, now I really gotta crack that thing open!"

"Hey, watch it, that hurts!"

"Gimme the notebook!"

"No way!"

* * *

><p>The next day at school I had no opportunity to talk to Rei whatsoever. It was like nature itself was against the concept of me talking to her about my father's actions. This only served to annoy me in the long run, especially when gym class hit and it wasn't a co-ed day.<p>

The girls had swimming and we had running and volleyball.

I took a moment to sit and ended up eying the swimming pool up on the hill above the track. The pool area was surrounded by a chain link fence.

Rei Ayanami sat perched against the fence.

The look in her eyes was so lonely it literally made me feel lonely.

I let out a wistful sigh.

"Oh, does someone have a crush on Rei Ayanami?" asked Kensuke, a grin on his face.

Touji turned to me and smirked, "That true Shinji?"

"Not... really," I mumbled lightly, not really committing myself to the answer. After all, the girl was undeniably beautiful.

But there was something... wrong with her, and I couldn't quite place it.

Crush? Maybe.

Protective instinct? Oh yeah.

"Can't say I blame you," continued Kensuke, "What, with her supple thighs?"

"Creamy skin?" added Touji.

"Sexy lips?"

"Shining eyes?"

I scoffed, turning away and trying to hide the blush on my face, "Shut the hell up already, sheesh."

Kensuke and Touji started to laugh, and I couldn't help but smile a bit.

I let my life be normal for a bit.

Something told me things would come crashing down if I wasn't careful.

* * *

><p>"I'm home," I said, slipping off my shoes at the door.<p>

"Welcome home!" shouted Misato brightly, "I have a job for you before you get relaxed Shinji-kun!"

"Oh yeah?"

Ritsuko sat at the table, an amused smile playing her lips.

"I want you to take this to Rei," she said, holding out a brand new shiny NERV ID, the date was today, "Hers just expired, so we updated it since she forgot. You both have synch tests tonight, so you'll have the best chance to get it to her."

"This is perfect actually," I said with a smile, taking the ID and letting my bag drop at the door. "I'll see you guys at NERV!" I shouted, running off before she had the chance to say anything.

* * *

><p>'Rei Ayanami.'<p>

The nameplate on the door was pretty clear. The apartment complex itself was crap. I had half a mind to drag her out of here and bring her to Misato's, but it was really none of my business in the larger picture of things.

One step at a time and all that.

All we had exchanged so far was names, living with her was kind of a stretch.

I reached out to the intercom by her door and pressed the button. It dinged, "Ayanami, it's Ikari... I got something for you."

No answer.

I frowned in frustration and hit it again, this time I just let it ding.

I waited for a moment.

I didn't even hear her shuffling around.

I took a deep breath. It was now or never, her test was tonight...

'Rei Ayanami: Tool?'

The words ate at my conscience, words that I myself had written. I had seen my father's actions in that way, and my belief was deep that they were spot on. I had to talk to her before the test, I would wait outside her door for hours if that's what it took. Almost on a whim I reached for the door handle and pushed it down.

A light click, followed by the door swinging inward.

I walked in hesitantly, but decided on my actions as soon as I shut the door behind me. I took my shoes off at the entrance, "Sorry for the intrusion," I announced.

The place was trashed.

I let out a sigh, this was no way for someone like Rei to live. Discarded soda cans and trashbags lay everywhere. In the trash bin and on an otherwise empty desk were bloody bandages leftover from her changing.

God.

The whole place smelled of copper and stale sugar.

It was a sick joke, and I held no doubt that my father was paying for this place. I made my way across the room...

On the desk by her bed there was a pair of broken glasses, a slight spiderweb of fractures on the left lens, and one on the right. I picked them up without giving it much thought.

_My father pushed the glasses up on his nose, "You'll be living with your aunt and uncle, I'm too busy to care for you."_

I let out a grunt of dissatisfaction when I recognized them.

My father's old pair.

That was the last time I ever spoke to the man.

He might as well have said, 'Get out, you're useless to me.'

My grip tightened on the glasses.

Anger welled up inside my chest.

I saw Eva 01 roaring in fury.

My eyes widened and a cold line of sweat ran down my forehead.

Something snapped...

It wasn't the glasses...

My grip loosened and the sweating stopped when I heard a door behind me open. When I turned I had already put my mind off what just happened.

There stood Rei... nude.

A towel around her neck and pretty as a present on Christmas.

I felt the heat rise well to my face before I let out any semblance of a reaction. "Holy shi..."

She glared at me and stormed towards me like a raging typhoon. I stumbled backwards, averting my eyes as any respectable gentleman would do. I tripped on her desk leg and found myself unceremoniously dropped on my ass.

When she reached down I thought my life was about to end.

'This is it, so much for saving people, so much for finding out the truth about my father.'

She snatched up the glasses and sent me another stern glare.

'What the hell is wrong with this woman? She's worried about the GLASSES of all things?'

She didn't bother to cover herself.

My gentlemanly qualities vanished, she obviously didn't give a hoot about me looking. As she turned away and stepped into a fresh pair of panties I let my gaze travel up her body. Her skin was pale, but looked soft to the touch.

"What?" she asked.

I barely heard it, but there was a tone of anger and disgust lining her very to-the-point question.

"I came to talk, and I need to deliver something to you."

I swallowed deeply, trying to control my raging hormones and failing miserably. By the time she was dressed I had calmed down a bit, "I uh... brought your... new ID." I pulled it from my pocket, still sitting on the ground and feeling very embarrassed and ashamed, but slightly satiated nonetheless.

She took a few more hard strides and snatched it from my hands much as she had taken the glasses.

And then she left.

What the shit?

I stood and dusted myself off, feeling the annoyance creep into me. I told her I needed to talk to her and she just up and stormed out. My hormones took a backseat as I stepped out of her apartment and shadowed her downstairs. If she didn't want to talk then good for her, I didn't give a fuck, I was still going to warn her whether she liked it or not.

I was on her tail all the way to the train station, even got in the same car as her.

She didn't utter a single word the entire ride.

When we got off I ran behind her and started walking in pace. A few more blocks and we arrived at NERV HQ. We both swiped in and I followed her to the escalator that led to the synch testing level of the base. This was a VERY long escalator ride, plenty of time for us to get to know each other. "Hey, we've both got synch tests, won't have much time to talk during that you know. I need to tell you something."

I saw her head slightly turn.

At least she was acknowledging that I existed.

"So you trust my father that much?"

Her left hand twitched lightly.

"I heard he saved your life in the first synch test with Unit Zero, burnt his own hands to pull you out of the plug unit. That's rather odd to someone like me. If I was drowning and he didn't have a use for me I seriously doubt he'd take the time to play lifeguard."

She looked down slightly, "You should have more faith in your father's work."

"Hahahahaha," I shook my head, "Hahahahaha! You're serious! Oh man this is classic!"

She turned on me with that same scowl from yesterday, slapping me hard on the cheek.

Touchy subject I guess...

I grabbed her shoulder.

She didn't make a noise, I just wanted to... accentuate the point I was trying to make. "I suggest you listen closely. Gendo Ikari abandoned me when I was four, throwing me to my alcoholic uncle and an aunt who left after the first week of me living in their house. I learned to use the telephone JUST so I could call him, and he never picked up. I lived in that place for years. Then, when I get into high school I get a note...

"On a piece of fuckin' old newspaper that looked like he dug it out of the trash with a NERV ID attached. That note only says 'come', and the real kicker is this... When I finally get here you know what he says to me when I ask why he called me? 'You have a use now.' Could you imagine what was running through my head? Because I can sure as hell imagine what was running through yours, hell I can even make a stretch at Gendo's head if I want to."

Her glare didn't leave, I took that as a sign to not stop.

The train had already left.

It was now or never.

Whatever I had been thinking in the back of my head up until now... I was finally taking action on it.

In a way...

I was finally standing up to my father.

"You want a use, you're not sure what to do with yourself, sometimes you don't even know why you're here in the first place, and when Gendo opened that plug unit all you could think was that someone actually cared about you. I have another surprise though... when Gendo opened the plug unit, his first thought? 'Thank God, my tool isn't broken.'"

She pulled away from me.

Her glare was gone.

Her breaths became slightly shorter. At first glance she would look calm, but I was shaking her up.

"I came here to warn you, and now, since you wouldn't listen to what I had to say you get the rough treatment. I'm sorry it had to be this way Ayanami, but I can't let you ignore what's right in front of you when it could put you in danger. You should be on constant guard..."

I walked past her on the escalator...

"Like I am."

* * *

><p>Gendo gritted his teeth.<p>

"Synch rate at 10 percent and holding," said Maya hesitantly.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" he asked, pushing his glasses up

"She's not identifying with the Eva for some reason. The most common factor in a case like this would be psychological stress."

"Sir!"

A uniformed man ran up to Gendo, panting like he had just been running, "Sir, an unidentified object is heading towards Tokyo 3... the self defense force says it's most likely an angel."

"Prep Unit One," said Gendo.

"What about Ayanami sir?"

"Leave her, she'll get out when she's done, leave someone to keep an eye on her though."

"Sir."

* * *

><p>The plug clanked into place and my body shook.<p>

_"Ready Shinji?"_

I nodded, "Ready."

The cockpit flooded with LCL and I let it trail into my lungs.

_"Prepping for launch."_

_"Clamps one and two released, interface changed to Japanese."_

I grasped the controls tightly.

_"EVA LAUNCH!"_

I gritted my teeth against the force as I was launched miles up to the surface in mere seconds, coming to a sudden stop in my deployment station. I got ready to retrieve my weapon before I managed to hear it.

_"Shinji look out!"_

On an almost primal instinct I ducked to the side, but it wasn't enough.

My left arm went numb and an indescribable pain shot through my spine.

I screamed bloody murder.

"Left arm destroyed!"

_"NO! Shinji!"_


	6. Episode 6: Emotion

I stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind me as my uncle screamed at me to come back. I couldn't stop the tears until I was past the third block. The housing area we lived in was cramped and half the time all I had was ramen to eat. Add my uncle's screaming and constant backhands and my ten-year-old life wasn't so fun. A few streets down there was a local park; I went there to watch other children play with each other and their parents. It helped calm my frayed nerves after a particularly bad day at home.

The park was mostly empty at the time, so I took seat on the nearest bench at the entrance. I could hear the cicadas and the birds. I took in a deep breath of fresh air.

I would try calling my father again today.

"Shin-chan, you okay?" Haru sat next to me, a frown etched onto her features, "Something bad just happened, didn't it? I can see it in your eyes."

For some reason I could never lie to Haru. It was like she knew everything about me just by looking at me; it wasn't until later that I figured out I was THAT blatantly obvious with my emotions, but still, impressive for a ten year old girl to be able to read people like that. "Haru-chan... what are your parents like?" I asked softly.

"Daddy died when I was real young. Mommy takes care of me though."

I nodded solemnly, "That's good..."

The fact that she could talk about her father's death so nonchalantly scared me a little bit... I couldn't... I wouldn't... never...

"Shin-chan, you're shaking..."

Haru was worried about me.

She was probably my first and only friend in that place. I felt lonely whenever she wasn't around, and when we talked I always felt a lot better afterwards, even if my situation wasn't exactly the best in the world. "Sorry," I said, giving a sad excuse for a smile.

"Shin-chan... do you ever try to see someone?"

"See someone? What do you mean?"

Haru frowned, "My nanny gave it a really weird word, something like em... empa... it's a really big word and I can't remember. Look..." she patted me on the head and giggled, "Sometimes all you need is someone to listen."

"Listen..."

She nodded, beaming with the brightest smile I had seen in a while. "You should listen to people Shin-chan. If you listen to someone they'll listen to you too, kay?"

I nodded dumbly.

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 6: Emotion**

Shattering...

I went blind...

_"Shinji! Get out of there!"_

_"Can we retrieve the Eva?"_

_"It's too far out of the dock!"_

_"Dammit!"_

Left arm.

Gone.

Pain.

_"High energy output coming from the angel, it's firing again!"_

Another blast.

_"Right arm has been destroyed!"_

**_"I'm too busy to care for you."_**

**_"You should appreciate your father's work more."_**

**_"Your father ran out there and opened the scorching hot plug with his bare hands to get Rei out, pretty impressive huh?"_**

My eyes snapped open.

I twitched and the Eva stood. The head split and I felt an insurmountable force. The LCL in the cockpit heated up.

I grinned. The angel was hovering over the ocean still.

_"What? Berserker again!"_

_"Shinji, get a hold of yourself, you can control the Eva!"_

Control? Who needed control?

I let out a roar of pure primal rage.

_"Another high energy output!"_

_"Shinji please!"_

I moved with the purpose of a predator, a grin piercing my cheeks as I began to chuckle. Another beam headed straight for me; it bounced from my AT field like a bullet ricocheting off titanium.

The chuckle turned into mad laughter.

_"The nerve outputs are shot, we can't eject the plug!"_

_"Shinji god dammit listen to me! I am your guardian!"_

I ran.

The sea parted for me.

_"The AT field of the Eva is disrupting everything around it!"_

_"What... the hell..."_

I locked my gaze on the sad excuse for an 'angel' and laughed once more.

How pathetic.

The water I shoved aside made its way into Tokyo 3's streets.

I could FEEL the angel, it was looking at me.

I 'listened' to it...

**Child of man.**

**Broken creation.**

**Soul eater.**

**Redemption.**

As I moved forward the water made way for me, and I eventually stood in front of the angel.

A large blue diamond would have been the best way to describe it.

I could hear it.

I could listen.

**"SHINJI!"**

My grin never faded.

_"This is pilot Ayanami of Unit Zero, Pilot Ikari, stand down."_

My head buzzed.

I heard a ringing sound.

_"Ikari, I listened to you. You made me listen."_ Her voice was still quiet, and betrayed little emotion, _"Now it's your turn, calm. down."_

I grabbed my head and rubbed it, the grin fading from my features. What was I doing here?

_"The Eva's AT field is dispersing! Connection is being reestablished!"_

The water converged on me. I heard a sigh of relief on the other end of the communication line. "Water receding!"

_"Eject the plug, retrieve the Eva and the pilot NOW!"_

* * *

><p>"Repair to Unit One will take seven hours, that gives us barely enough time. The Angel is right over our heads, using a high energy shield drill to penetrate the barriers of the facility. It will be here in about ten hours, around midnight."<p>

The NERV advisor nodded, "I see, do you have a plan Katsuragi-san?"

The room they were in was large to say the least. The advisor sat in a small desk, which stood out like a sore thumb. "Of course," said Misato confidently, "The Angel seems to attack anything that gets close to it at all, Shinji ended up losing both of Eva One's arms just trying to get close to it. I don't know why it didn't fire on him when he was in front of it, but its still attacking anything else that gets close so we can't risk an operation. Normal weaponry can't pierce the AT field, but something with sufficient energy, mass, and velocity behind it could."

"What do you suggest?"

"A positron rifle."

The advisor considered this for a moment, "Our own doesn't have the capability of producing enough energy to pierce an AT field."

"We're borrowing the prototype from the JSSDF."

"I see, what did the MAGI say?"

"8.7 percent chance of success, not high by any means, but it's the best we could do with any scenario and we're running out of time."

"What about Unit One's pilot?"

"His right arm was injured slightly, but he'll be ready to go when we call."

"Get it done Katsuragi."

She nodded firmly.

* * *

><p>I awoke in a familiar looking room. I was tucked in a hospital bed, and I found it kind of pathetic that this was starting to become routine for me. I let out a sigh, replaying the events of my annihilation. Honestly, I was lucky I wasn't dead, but what really bugged me was what I myself did.<p>

I recalled the left arm being blown off, and all the pain that came with it.

But I couldn't remember much else.

I sat up and flinched against the pain that suddenly shot through my right shoulder. I pulled up my sleeve and saw a line of stitches on the outside of my shoulder. "Shit." I touched it gingerly, hissing when it stung. From the looks of it it had been a pretty deep cut, but not enough that I wouldn't be able to do anything.

I flexed my shoulder, it stung quite a bit, but it was nothing I couldn't manage.

_**"Right arm destroyed!"**_

"Did my synch with the Eva do this to me?"

"Possibly."

I turned towards the voice.

Rei Ayanami stood over a cart with a plate of food, a glass of something, and a plastic package with a plugsuit inside it, "I am here to inform you of tonight's operation."

"Ayanami, listen, about before..."

"There is no need. We will have to be in place at NERV HQ at sixteen hundred." She threw the plugsuit on the bed as I sat up, "Don't show up like that Pilot Ikari."

I looked down, noticing too late that I was completely naked as a fire rose to my face. Luckily the blankets covered me from the waist down still, "Well, I guess we're even now," I said with a nervous laugh.

She didn't glare, she didn't smile, just stared at me.

It creeped me out.

"I brought you a meal as well."

She turned to leave.

"Ayanami, wait!"

She froze at the door, I opened my mouth to speak.

"You can save it for after the battle," she said softly, walking out the door and shutting it behind her.

I sighed to myself.

* * *

><p>"Will it withstand the effects of the angel's beam?" asked Misato.<p>

"Yes, but it will be limited," mumbled Ritsuko, flipping through the papers on her clipboard. Currently they stood upon a catwalk overlooking a large shield shaped black object. It seemed like it was made of steel, but it was much larger. "The shield is designed to withstand high energy impact, but it's still just from an old decommissioned shuttle."

Misato frowned, "Well that makes me feel better." She sighed, "Hey, are you sure it's a good idea to be sending Rei out?"

"We have no choice, all she needs to be able to do to move well is twenty percent, and the shield will protect her."

"But... she was only at ten, she hasn't been that low since she first started piloting an Eva."

"She'll be fine, Shinji's with her."

"What's that mean?"

"There's something about the kid..." she muttered, "Enough chat, we need to finish prepping this thing."

Misato stuck out her tongue and Ritsuko smirked.

* * *

><p>The briefing room was brightly lit, and the grey tiles of the floor held an odd glow.<p>

"Unit One will fire the positron rifle into the center of the target while Unit Zero provides cover. Any questions at all?"

I raised my hand.

"Yes Shinji?" asked Misato.

"Are you sure Ayanami has to be out there with me? She could use some time..." I was already well aware of the effects my brow beating had on her and I wasn't about to see her killed because she couldn't be kept back from a mission.

"I'll be fine," piped up Rei.

I eyed her apprehensively and Misato turned to me with a raised eyebrow, "YOU concentrate on hitting the target Shinji, Rei will take care of you. Now... remember what I said?"

I nodded, "To reload isn't a simple matter of just chambering a bullet."

"Right," said Misato with a nod, "The positron rifle is hooked up to a transformer yard, and all the power in Tokyo 3 is being forwarded to it. Each time a shot is fired there's an overvoltage, to prevent wire damage we have a set of fuses installed. Whenever the weapon fires those fuses will explode. We have a team on standby to replace them, but I doubt you'll get a second chance. Hit the target the first time Shinji."

I nodded.

I really needed to remind Misato to back off when it came to putting me under pressure, the last thing I needed in this situation was an itchy trigger finger, and that was exactly what she had succeeded in giving me.

I looked at Rei again...

* * *

><p>The night was cold.<p>

The constant summer of Tokyo 3, Japan was offset by the chilly nights, proof alongside the cicadas that the climate was returning to normal after the second impact. The mountain dock for the Evas was eerily quiet, and I could hear owls hooting in the distance. Rei and I sat on the concrete slabs suspended above our Evas' shoulders, the only thing separating us a small gap in between the slabs.

The sky was clear, so I took the opportunity to admire the stars. "Why do you pilot your Eva?" I asked.

Rei shuffled for a moment, adjusting her position, "I have a bond with it. If I pilot it my existance has a meaning. If I don't..."

"I pilot because I want to protect people." I turned to face her, and found that she was looking at me as well. I continued hesitantly, "My father called me here because he says I have a 'use'. I still don't know what that use is... and honestly it's been bugging the crap out of me."

Part of me was screaming in my mind not to tell her. She was close to my father, and if I was suspicious of him she could easily tell him.

But... I kept talking.

"Somethings just been... eating at me I guess. I agreed to pilot because I knew the angel could harm people, but I didn't agree to pilot because of my father's whims. I know he saved your life, and I'm sorry I..."

"Don't apologize," she said softly.

I stood and dusted myself off.

"I'm not taking his crap anymore." I turned to her, "I'll watch your back if you watch mine. I trust you Rei."

She stood with me and nodded.

A smile played her lips...

And for the first time since I met her I saw how beautiful she really was.

I grinned, "Let's go kick this angel's ass."

* * *

><p>"Okay..."<p>

I took a deep breath.

In...

Out...

In...

Out...

I leaned my head against the scope, the Evangelion grunting against the concrete as I did so. The blue angel that looked more industrial than alive entered the scope's vision. It was already centered for me.

_"Alright Shinji,"_ said Misato, _"All you have to do is pull the trigger, but make sure the computer has a lock first, at this distance if the reticles aren't lined up then the shot will be way off."_

I nodded, "Copy."

_"Good luck out there."_

"Hey Misato, you might wanna keep this to watch at home later."

She chuckled,_ "Alright, show me what you two can do and I might increase your allowance."_

"You sure? You wouldn't be able to get as much beer if you did that."

_"Oh shush."_

My finger pet the trigger of the weapon and I took another breath. The reticules popped up on the screen of the scope, one a triangle, the other a cross, they slowly began to migrate towards each other.

They clicked together.

_"High energy output from the angel, the angel is firing."_

_"Shit, look out!"_

I pulled the trigger with no hesitation.

A flash of light.

The two beams intersected and threw each other off.

My shot was thrown about sixteen meters to the left, and the angel's attack landed behind me, shaking the underground base below the mountain.

I heard several startled shouts on my comm as the explosion grew in size and the Earth rumbled.

I cursed under my breath, apparently this damn thing knew what we were doing. I reached out with my left hand, rocking the bolt back and chambering another round.

_"Replacing the fuses, be ready to fire again Shinji!"_

I nodded, "Got it."

I raised an eyebrow, why wasn't it firing again? The thing could have easily taken me out by now...

"Hey Misato, while you guys are doing that can I ask you something?"

_"This isn't the time for idle conversation Shinji, you need to concentrate."_

The reticle began to line up.

_"I'm reading another high energy output!"_

I continued, despite my heart trying to break through my ribcage, the moment was tense, "Misato, how often can this thing fire?"

_"I already told you, we have to replace the..."_

"Not the gun, the angel!"

There was silence on the other end._ "We don't know."_

I thought so.

The reticle lined up and my world exploded.

I looked up and there was Rei, holding the shield against the blast from the angel. "Rei!"

_"Shinji fire now!"_

I pulled the trigger and moved forward in almost a single motion.

Everything went still...

_"Did they hit it?"_

_"Visual is showing damage to the hull of the angel!"_

I crouched over Rei, holding up the shield I had pried from her hands. I felt the heat across my skin as our Evas burned. The shield was almost completely melted, and my right arm was as well, that was where most of the heat from the blast had been concentrated when I pulled us both to the side. I dropped the shield and looked up...

The positron canon was completely annihilated, I imagined the JSSDF wouldn't be too happy about that.

I flexed my arm, it still moved, but as the rest of my body cooled I could still feel the burn, "Rei, are you okay?"

"Yes."

I looked up, eying the street across from the mountains, leagues away where the angel had been drilling.

"Angel is still active and drilling!"

_"How is that possible? The shot hit dead on!"_

_"Transformer stations seven, eight, and nine are down!"_

_"The fuses didn't work... we didn't have enough electrical current to break through to the core,"_mumbled Misato.

I growled, "Son of a bitch."

I fell flat to my stomach and brought Rei with me, causing the mountain to shake again, "Misato!" I shouted, "Is there any other way we can take this thing down?"

I could here the shuffling of papers and the echo of panicked footsteps through the comm before she responded, _"That was the best option we had Shinji."_

"I'm getting about tired of this thing," I said.

_"Every time we tested weaponry against it, it knew where we were coming from. It annihilated everything that got even remotely close to it!"_

"All sides?"

_"Yes!"_

"Did you test more than one line of sight at a time?"

The comm was silent for a moment, _"Dammit Shinji I'm the tactical officer, you can't make calls like that, stay right where you are and we'll retrieve you!"_

"We don't have time!"

Misato went silent.

"It's almost midnight, we've got thirty minutes before that thing pierces the surface of Geofront, we don't have a choice!"

A shuffle of movement... _"Don't you DARE die on me Shinji Ikari."_

"Yes Ma'am."

I adjusted myself slightly, pulling away from Unit Zero and keeping an eye on the street for a flash of light. "Rei, do you trust me?" I asked.

_"... Yes."_

"Good, because I've got a really dumb idea."

* * *

><p>I moved with all the speed I could muster. The street was empty, desolate, save for the lone angel drilling into the center of an intersection. I got about halfway through the forest around the lake.<p>

_"The angel is firing again!"_

I ducked.

The beam flew over my head, but I felt the heat of it scrape the top of my skull. I moved even faster.

I smirked.

Just as I thought; it needed time before it could fire another shot.

"Rei! Now!"

She leapt from the forest behind me at the speed of a launching jet and landed right on the edge of the city.

_"Another volley!"_

The angel fired again and Rei pulled herself to the side.

I heard something crack and explode.

_"Agh..."_I could hear her grinding her teeth.

_"Unit Zero's left hand has been destroyed!"_

I ran as fast as my legs would carry me, not worrying for the trees I was toppling over in the process. I was at the city limits in under a second and heading towards the street in another.

_"Shinji, look out!"_

I twisted my spine, barely avoiding getting completely decimated by the blast. I took a hit just to the right of the cockpit, right in the chest, and I felt pain shoot through my ribs. I screamed.

Rei moved in my place while I regained my bearings, skidding to a halt at the street that led to the intersection and charging the angel head on. I pushed myself up, ignoring the pain flaring in my cut shoulder and my chest. I turned the corner of the building and got in line of sight with the angel.

_"The angel is preparing to fire again!"_

We were charging it from both sides.

Me or her.

Me or her.

Me or her.

I jumped into the air in an almost simultaneous reaction with Rei.

_"Energy has dissipated!"_

_"It's confused!"_ shouted Misato, _"Take it down!"_

I slammed the button down inside of the plug and the fin on my shoulder popped up. I yanked out the progressive knife and plunged it into the angel's casing.

I cut it open like a dead fish.

Rei reached down with her remaining hand as if to scoop out its insides.

The angel screamed when she yanked it back, taking the core with her as she jumped down to the street below.

She crushed it in her hand like it was nothing...

And the monstrosity fell.


	7. Episode 7: Suspicion

Gendo Ikari adjusted his position in the chair, "I see, I suppose I should thank you then."

_"There's no need, and about the other document they were demanding under the Freedom of Information Act... I gave them some declassified false junk."_

"I see..."

_"So I'll get started then."_

Gendo didn't bother to clarify, he simply hung up the phone. He leaned forward on his desk and let out a sigh, once again perusing his son's dossier. Ayanami had been acting strange lately, even going so far as to disobey a direct order and open the communication channel when she was mentally under duress. Her behavior started not too long ago, and he was certain that the boy was involved in some way.

It wasn't a spanner in the works by any means, but rather a splinter.

Better safe than sorry, however.

It didn't help that he couldn't afford to be rid of either of them. Rei was essential, and probably the only thing of Yui he had left in a physical sense, and the boy was what he needed to drive things forward.

Still...

He was proving more difficult than anticipated.

Gendo expected the boy to be a broken shell, but he was far from it.

Things would become... interesting.

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 7: Suspicion**

"Isn't that like... your fifth beer?"

"Shadup..." grumbled Misato, sending a glare my way, "You don't tell me what to do, you're the kid here. I make sure you're the one that does things right."

I laughed, "Sometimes I wonder."

"Wazzat?"

"Nothing, nothing at all Misato. I'll be getting ready for school now," I said with a smirk tracing my lips.

She tossed me a smile as I made my way back to my room. By the time I came back out with all my stuff gathered up in a bag she was asleep on the table. Luckily she didn't have to go into work until later in the afternoon. I laughed under my breath and pried the half empty beer can from her hands before setting it on the kitchen counter.

I didn't bother to call out that I was leaving, not wanting to wake her up.

By the time I got to class it was already full, this surprised me, what surprised me even more was that everyone was abuzz about the latest Evangelion battle.

When I entered the classroom it took a second for everyone to notice me, and when the heads started to turn and the gossip died down I let out a sigh.

"Yo!" Kensuke shouted, "Top o' the mornin' to ya!"

My eyes narrowed, "Kensuke... what did you do?"

He scratched the back of his head and let out an awkward laugh, "I kinda... invited half the class and we all went to watch you fight the angel."

"YOU WHAT?"

Kensuke flinched, "Look, I'm sorry man, I just had to see it. Great job by the way, you and Ayanami were SO awesome out there."

"Where were you?"

"We were camped out on the edge of the dam next to a hotbox, you went running right past us when the positron cannon got destroyed."

"You still wanna watch me fight after what happened last time?"

"Dude, giant robots! I knew I was risking my life by going out there, and sure enough you come crashing down above us, missing by inches."

"I almost crushed you."

"It wasn't your fault Shinji, it was mine. Like I said, I know what I'm getting into, and I warned everyone who wanted to come along that they'd probably be hurt or killed." He bowed slightly to me, mumbling out a light apology.

I sighed and shook my head, letting my gaze fall on Hikari, "And where was the class rep during all this?"

She blushed and turned away from me, mumbling something about keeping an eye out for the nerd.

My jaw tightened and I tossed my arms up in the air, "You must be joking, EVERYONE was in on this?"

The entire class was silent.

I rolled my eyes, "Right, of course they were." I didn't bother to say anything further, it was too much trouble as it was. I set my bag on my desk and made my way towards the window where Rei sat, "Yo," I said, waving my hand.

She turned her gaze from the window to me, "Good morning," she said softly.

"You were pretty awesome last night, a real heartbreaker." God even I heard the crickets after that lame joke, "Anyways," I continued before she could say anything, "I just wanted to say thanks. I guess we'll be working together from now on. You wanna go grab a bite to eat after we synch test this afternoon?"

Mutters erupted in the class.

"Did he just ask Ayanami on a date?"

"Omygod I have to post this on my blog."

"What a brazen kid."

Rei looked confused for a second. "My treat," I said, "We're friends now and you went with my lame plan, so I figure I owe you."

"Friends..." she said the word like it was foreign to her. After a moment of the most uncomfortable silence in my life she gave a small nod, "Yes, I will accompany you."

The class exploded.

It wasn't until the home room teacher came in that it died down.

* * *

><p>It was a fast food place and we ate outside, nothing too fancy. I couldn't spend too much cash at that moment in time. Not only because my allowance wasn't that staggering, but also because I was throwing a little something together. Rei sat there, staring at the burger in front of her, "It's not gonna bite you," I said with a smile.<p>

Rei nodded softly, reaching out and grasping it with both hands. She brought it to her mouth gently and took a small bite.

When I first met Rei she didn't seem like a cute person, but I couldn't help but think so with the way she was cautiously eating fast food. It was almost as if she had no social graces whatsoever, but it also made me feel kind of bad. "Rei, what do you know about the Evas?"

She set the burger down a quarter of the way through and looked straight at me, her gaze unflinching, "Would you like the technical aspects?"

"Layman's terms please," I said with a laugh.

"The Evagelions are developed using a string of biological DNA combined with advanced technology."

"Wait, so they're biological?"

"In the most basic sense of the word, they bleed, they have a nervous system..."

I tried not to think about what that entailed, but it's not like I had a choice. "I guess even a machine can feel pain if it's wired to. Why were they built this way?"

"It was the most viable way to interface and control such a war machine. Other methods have been tried, but the programming is too convoluted. Too much machinery, too many lines of programming conflicting with each other."

This new bit of information bothered me, maybe that voice I heard in the plug...

"I'm not supposed to know any of this am I?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"Rei, how do you know my father?"

"I was raised to be a pilot."

"I see."

The rest of the meal was silent until we said our goodbyes. I didn't walk her back to her apartment, I had to get home and think.

* * *

><p>"I'm home."<p>

"Welcome home!"

I walked in and let out a sigh, shuffling out of my shoes and cracking my neck, "What's wrong?" asked Misato, "You look like you've had a rough day. The synching test went well didn't it?"

"Sixty seven percent," I said with a yawn. "I've been fine."

"Holy crap is that even possible?"

I shrugged, "That's what it was."

"Where'd you go?"

"Went out to eat with Rei."

Misato raised an eyebrow and grinned at me, Pen Pen let out a squawk from underneath her chair, "Oh reeeaaaaly?" She stood up and walked over to me, leaning on the wall and eying me with a mischievous look, "I didn't know Rei was your type."

I felt the heat rise to my face, "Look, it's not what you think. I only took her out to let her know that we were friends now, and if it wasn't for what she did last night we all would've been toast."

She leered at me.

"What the hell do you want from me? Okay, maybe I think she's cute, but that doesn't..."

She grinned even wider.

"Ugh, fine..." I held up my right hand, spacing my index finger and my thumb about half an inch apart, "Maybe I have a LITTLE crush on her, but that has nothing to do with it at all. I mean, we're both Eva pilots right? We should get along."

She ruffled my hair, "Good boy. There's no use lying to me Shinji, I can tell when love is in the air."

I rolled my eyes with a laugh, "I already ate so I'll just cook for you. Out with it, what do you want?"

"Something simple is fine."

I nodded.

* * *

><p>The morning air was fresh, and I had plenty of sleep, so I wasn't particularly tired when I crawled out of bed. As I sat down to eat Misato's door slid open. I looked up and was surprised to see her decked out in full uniform, "What's going on?" I asked.<p>

Instead of yawning as I expected her to she simply sighed, "We've got some big powwow with the JSSDF and their new prototype, I didn't really want to go but Ritsuko is making me."

"A prototype eh?" I leaned forward, readjusting the toast on my plate but not really in the mood to eat.

She nodded and walked to the door, "I'll see you when I get back."

* * *

><p>The gathering was half meeting and half party. It was on the outside edge of Tokyo 3 in a tall corporate looking building. The floor they were actually on resembled a hotel party room. Five white sheeted tables were set up, four of them surrounding one in the center, which housed NERV's sole attendants, Ritsuko Akagi and Misato Katsuragi.<p>

All the other tables were crowded with varying people, from corporate bigshots and lead scientists to high ranking officials with the JSSDF and the US Military.

Misato was not in her element. She didn't don her uniform or fancy dresses to go to parties and meetings like this...

Not to mention that she always found NERV's official uniform extremely uncomfortable, especially those sad excuses for high heels.

A stage was set up just in front of the group of tables with a large red banner over it declaring, 'JA Activation Party'.

This annoyed Ritsuko, she knew for a fact that this was their first real test environment with the Jet Alone, and putting that banner up was like declaring they were already done. It didn't help that the guy in the suit on stage about to speak looked like he ate stuck up and smartass for breakfast, "Hello," he said, "And welcome. It's good to see such a turnout for our prototype Jet Alone. It's been a few years but I'm happy to announce that Jet Alone is officially ready to go, and once we get it past testing it can be used as well as any Evangelion."

Ritsuko stood in waht Misato could almost define as a challange to the man on stage. She picked up the small microphone from their lonely table and raised her hand.

"It appears the NERV employee's have a question, yes Dr. Akagi?"

Misato had to give Ritsuko credit, if she had to talk to someone like that she would probably just end up charging the stage and strangling him. "Isn't there a certain amount of risk in using a nuclear reactor to power a bipedal war machine?"

The man gave her what was possibly the most smug look she had ever seen, "Yes, there is some amount of risk, but not without safety measures. The Jet Alone is equipped with a set of cooling rods, just like a standard reactor."

"What if it overloads, wouldn't there be a risk of meltdown?"

The man shook his head, "Oh no, there are countermeasures included in case of such a scenario, including a manual override system. Besides, if I'm not mistaken..." The man produced a small black pad computer from a subordinate, who had rushed up on stage to hand it to him as if on cue. He turned it on...

Displayed on the computer's screen was a picture of Unit One going berserk against the third angel, roaring at the sky in fury.

The man smirked, "I'm sure it's much less risky than a combat unit that could let loose on its own at any time and cause mental damage and stress to its pilots."

Ritsuko's eye twitched just slightly...

* * *

><p>The locker room was quiet save for one thing...<p>

"OH I'll show that asshole, I'll grab his smug face and... and..." Misato kicked the locker again, causing yet another dent, "Shove it into the locker and kick it and kick it and KICK IT! Who the hell does he think he is talking to us like we don't know what we're doing? Shinji could wipe the floor with anyone they put in that thing no problem!"

"Calm down Misato."

"I am calm!"

Ritsuko smiled, "You're throwing a tantrum."

"He insulted Unit One, that means he insulted Shinji, I wanna break that thick head of his!"

* * *

><p>"Ready for activation."<p>

"First step, left foot, short forward."

"Yes sir, first step, left foot, short forward."

The warehouse turned command room of the JSSDF forward base was thick with the tension. This was it, this was the test that would decide everything, whether or not their budget was worth it.

A few hundred meters away Jet Alone stood in its docking station, a white monstrosity with a red top towering over the ground. It had no eyes and a limp form, black pipes strutting out of its back. Its head was small and square, and a line of in-stations for the cockpit made it look like it was giving a disturbing grin.

Misato crossed her arms and glared.

Ritsuko smirked.

"It's walking..."

Jet Alone moved forward with the grace of a slow bull, thrusting its entire body like a monkey. Compared to the Evas... this thing looked dead.

"Alright, stop it and we'll continue with running and weapons testing, after that we'll be able to put in a pilot and she'll really shine," the man from the stage smirked. He gave Misato a look, oh yeah, that just happened.

Misato grumbled something about overpriced junk that was hard to control and frowned.

"S... sir... I can't stop it!"

"What!"

"The controls aren't responding, the reactor core is overheating."

"Shut it down, override now!"

"The override isn't working!"

Misato glared at the man who had given the speech earlier, "Well I hope you're happy now!" she snapped.

"It's coming right for us!"

Misato ran to the side and ducked just as the massive foot of Jet Alone entrenched itself in the command center, shattering the viewing glass and breaking almost every computer and work station in the entire vacinity.

When the initial chaos had passed Misato stood and turned to him, "How do we shut it down?"

"It needs to be manually overridden from inside the cooling rod chamber on its back, you'd need a radiation suit to go in there, and the code for the override as well."

"NERV has radiation suits, and you better get me that fuckin' code right NOW!"

"I can't just give it to you, we need to go through the proper channels and get the papers done."

Misato stormed him, grabbed his collar, and shoved him down to the ground, "That thing is rampaging its way towards Tokyo 3 and there's little to no time to evacuate, so I suggest you take your red tape and SHOVE IT!" Misato planted a foot on his chest and leaned down, "What. is. the code?"

"H... Hope..."

She smiled, "Good, now was that so hard?"

* * *

><p>I got the call during the start of afternoon classes.<p>

The teacher glared at me when my cell phone went off, but the only person who would call me while class was in session was Misato. I excused myself and exited the class as it resumed, taking out the phone and flipping it open, "Hello?"

_"Shinji, it's Misato, get to NERV, get in Unit One, and meet me at the coordinates that I text you, there will be a cargo plane there ready to attach the Eva."_

"What's the situation?"

_"Runaway killer nuclear robot."_

With that she hung up.

"N... nuclear?"

Shit...

* * *

><p>The cargo plane was indeed massive enough to maintain course while carrying an Eva. Misato gave me a better rundown after the plane took off. She was dressed in a NERV issue radiation suit, thicker than a regular issued biohazard and heavier than a fireman's garb. We sat across from each other on the uncomfortable benches of the plane. "So you want me to plant you in that thing's back?"<p>

She nodded, "Yes, it's the only way to deactivate it without outside control once it gets going."

"Will the radiation suit be enough?"

"I'm only going into the cooling rod chamber, so I should be alright."

"This plan is crazy, even for you. What if you get hurt?"

"Shinji, there's a reason that I'm the tactical officer remember? Besides, we don't have a choice."

I leaned back and narrowed my eyes, "Don't you DARE die on me Misato Katsuragi."

She smiled, "Yes Sir."

* * *

><p>I took a deep breath...<p>

"Alright One, let's do this... locks detaching!"

I tightened my grip on the control handles as I plummeted to the Earth. Misato let out a little yelp, but was holding steady in my left hand, _"It's just like skydiving it's just like skydiving it's just like skydivingit'sjustlikeskydiving!"_

I landed, creating an indent in the ground where my feet hit. About a few miles straight ahead was Jet Alone, the JSSDF prototype bipedal combat vehicle, rampaging towards Tokyo 3._ "Go Shinji!"_

I took off left foot first.

It took me a moment to catch up with him.

"What the hell is this thing, a speedwalking robot?" I grumbled.

There was even a handle on the back that looked like it was easily fit with a crane, but an Eva hand would grip it just as well. I wrapped my right hand around it and pulled.

"Damn this is one tough bastard!"

He was still going.

I dug my heels into the ground, grunting as I felt the heat and friction of the dirt, rock, and aged concrete that scraped against them. "Stop you son of a bitch!"

I took a deep breath when I finally managed to make it somewhat still.

_"Alright, great job Shinji! There's a small panel entry next to the handle you just grabbed, drop me off there and make sure this stupid thing doesn't take another step!"_

"Got it."

I brought my left hand towards the panel she was talking about, pulling as hard as I could with my right.

She stepped off carefully and gripped on the small handle, prying the panel open and disappearing inside.

I made my move, wheeling around the Jet Alone and pushing it from the front with both hands, "I'm in position Misato, if this thing has a meltdown in my face I'll never forgive you!"

* * *

><p>The heat from the radiation hit her hard despite the suit, luckily it promised to protect her aginst the bulk of it, plus the cancer causing effects, so she was more worried about sweating herself out than anything else.<p>

The panel gave way to what appeared to be a small corridor with stairs leading down. Misato covered them quickly, knowing there was no time to waste. She stumbled upon the cooling rod chamber soon enough, and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the computer near the entrance. She was on it immidiately typing command line after command line furiously.

-Cooling Rod Controls

She hit Enter.

-Password

-Hope

-[ERROR]

Her eyes widened, "Wh... what..."

* * *

><p>Steam sprouted from the things left shoulder like a gyser, I clamped my left hand on it, "Misato, you might wanna hurry it up!"<p>

* * *

><p>"I'm trying, the password won't work!"<p>

_"What?"_

-Hope

-[ERROR]

"I said the password won't work."

_"Shit..."_

"I'm going to try to manually insert the cooling rods!"

She rushed to the rods sticking out of the wall and took a deep breath before shoving her shoulder and hands against a random one in the top row. She put all her strength behind it, the coolant rod moved slowly, centimeter by centimeter, "NNNNGH C'mon, budge you stupid thing!"

* * *

><p>Jet Alone spasmed and steam blew from several points in the head of the rampaging monster, "God dammit!"<p>

I closed my eyes, waiting for the worst to happen...

After a moment I opened my eyes...

The Jet Alone shuddered and stood still, the black pipes retreating into its back and pushing out the excess steam, I took a deep breath, "Oh thank God, you did it..."

_"No I didn't."_

"What?"

_"The cooling rods... they just slid into place. The computer activated itself like it was on a timer. Someone set this up."_

My eyes narrowed, and something grew in the pit of my stomach...

I told myself not to jump to conclusions.

'I'll talk to Misato when we get home...'

"Misato, let's get back to them, they'll be wanting to know that their prototype has been subdued."

_"... Right."_

* * *

><p>"So..." Gendo leaned forward onto his desk and crossed his hands in front of his mouth, "I trust there were no issues then?"<p>

Ritsuko nodded, "Yes, the plan went off without a hitch, minus Misato's interference."

"I see... was the boy with her?"

"Shinji? Yes, he was piloting Unit One."

"What does he know?"

"Nothing, Misato called him from school and he left immediately for the operation."

"I see..."

"Why?"

Gendo's hands tightened around each other, "Dismissed," he said.


	8. Episode 8: Asuka Strikes

**A/N: And now the story starts proper. I have all my little chess pieces in place and this is Asuka's intro, so now we get to the meat of things. Enjoy. More reviews plzkthx?**

"I'm going to bed Shinji," said Misato, letting out a monster of a yawn when we got back. It was still only six in the evening, but we were both exhausted.

"Misato... can I um... talk to you for a second?"

She tilted her head, "Hm? What is it Shinji-kun?"

I gestured my hand to the table, signaling for her to sit down. She looked dead tired and I felt bad for keeping her up, but I had some questions that needed answering. Misato may not have known much, but she was one of the few people working at NERV that I openly trusted. I sat down on the other end of the table and took a deep breath.

'How to start a conversation like this...'

"Is something the matter?" she asked, concern lining her voice.

I felt slightly less apprehensive about the whole thing when she showed that she was worried about me, in the month and a half I had been here the woman had been like an older sister to me. "Okay, I have to ask you about NERV..."

She looked to the side, "There are only so many things I can tell you," she muttered, "Not just because I have to keep them from you, but also because I don't know them myself."

I nodded, "Okay, I'll start with the basics then. How much do you know about my father?"

"Not much, he's really strict with his role as Commander. I never see him around unless he has something absolutely important to do. He doesn't like to show his face around the lower tree branches of NERV."

"And that includes me."

She frowned, "Shinji I..."

I held up a hand, "It's fine, it doesn't really bother me all that much anymore. In fact, you could say that the Children are the lowest branch of NERV, despite being the force it's built upon."

She looked confused for a moment, "Shinji, you sound strange, are you sure everything is okay?"

I nodded, "I'm fine. Misato, please tell me, is that really all you know about my father?"

She brought a finger to her chin and looked contemplative for a moment, "Hmmm... well, he has a right hand man named Kozou Fuyutsuki, and Ritzy hangs around him a lot..."

"Akagi-san?"

She nodded, "Yeah, yeah come to think of it... I always see her trailing behind him when she's not with me."

She looked like she just figured that out for herself.

I nodded, "Alright, next question, what do you know about the Evas?"

She hesitated for a second.

I already knew the answer to this one.

The question was to gauge how much I could truly count on her when the time came.

Empathy is a double edged sword, understanding another person is a beautiful thing, but sometimes the person you want to understand is better left alone.

"I know that only children like yourself can pilot them, and..."

I nodded.

"And they're some mishmash of technology and biology, but I don't know the details, only what I heard whenever Ritsuko was mumbling over files and stuff."

I leaned back and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Last question... why did you join NERV?"

Her shoulders fell, her earlier calm demeanor vanished, I backed off a little bit by answering my own question, "I decided to pilot Unit One not because my father wanted me to, but because I wanted to protect people. Sometimes that means doing something that you don't want to do."

She frowned, "I joined... because of my father. He was killed in the second impact. I was... kind of estranged from him I guess."

I didn't ask her any more about her father, knowing that would be pushing a touchy subject. I nodded, "Misato, why do you care about me so much?"

She shrugged and smiled sadly, "You're just a kid, even though you're not acting like one right now."

I smiled, "I think I'm getting in over my head here."

"How so?"

"I might be getting into a lot of trouble if I start asking too many questions. Best thing to do is just pilot the Eva like I always do, go out and save people... but I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I made a promise to someone."

"Who?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, "I've never told anyone about her until now, her name was Haruko Otome. I met her when I was living with my aunt and uncle. My father sent me to live with them after Mom died, and they weren't the best guardians."

Misato frowned.

"My uncle was a heavy drinker, and my aunt abandoned post after the first week or so."

Misato gazed at her fridge, still with a frown etched into her features.

"Don't," I said, "Don't think like that."

"Think like what?" she asked, turning back to me and masking her face with a smile.

"You've been nothing but great to me since I got here Misato. You've encouraged me as a pilot and as a student, and you're even answering questions that I shouldn't be asking. You don't have to be, but you're always there for me, and I would be nothing but a sack of shit if I didn't see you reaching out to me. Just because you drink doesn't make you a bad person."

Her smile faded for a second, then her mouth formed into a grin, "Jeez Shinji, how many friends have you had?"

I smirked, "A lot since I met Haru."

"What happened with her?"

"She taught me how to listen to people. You've leant me an ear a lot, the least I could do for you is return the favor."

She smiled, "You're pretty mature you know that? Buuuuut..."

"But?"

She stood up, walked around the table, and smacked me on the head, "I'm still your elder, after all..."

"I'm fourteen," I said with a smile.

"That's right. I'm glad you want to listen to my sob story Shinji, I really am, but what's most important to me is that you're here, right now... I'll tell my next boyfriend all my heartbreaks, but you don't need to worry about that because it's just extra weight on your shoulders." She reached down and ruffled my hair, "I know Gendo wasn't there for you as a child, part of the reason I'm taking care of you is because of that, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I answer your questions because I want to, red tape has never really been my thing. If you need my help I'll give it to you, but never, ever try to take anything on by yourself, use your friends and family, that's what we're here for."

She leaned down and hugged me.

I didn't have anything to say to that, so I just returned the hug.

"I don't know what you're doing," she said softly, "But just try to be a kid for now okay? We'll cross the bridge when we come to it, and I'll be right there backing you up."

Warmth filled my chest.

"Thanks... Misato..."

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 8: Asuka Strikes**

"OH MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! THIS IS SO AWESOME!"

I laughed under my breath as Kensuke squealed like a little school girl. The helicopter's rotors were loud, but we were issued headsets so we could talk to each other.

"Someone play Ride of the Valkyries please!" shouted Kensuke. "Shinji you are the best friend EVER!" He panned his camera out at the ocean below us.

I sat in between Kensuke and Touji in the rear seats of the chopper, Touji rolling his eyes at Kensuke's constant fangirling over getting to ride in a helicopter.

Misato turned around in the copilot's seat and grinned at all three of us, "It was my idea, whenever I pick up Shinji you guys always look bored out of your mind, so I figured I'd haul you along on this little date."

Touji suddenly perked up, "D... date?" He leaned forward and grinned, "Oh man, I would go on a date any time with you Katsuragi-san, fancy resturant? Doesn't matter I got allowance saved up. I even bought this hat JUST to show it to you!" he shouted, fiddling with the white baseball cap on his head.

Misato just laughed and shook her head, turning back around.

**-3 hours ago-**

"Misato! Where's my notebook?"

"Oh that thing? Hmmmmm..."

"And why do you have a duffel bag?"

Pen Pen walked between us carrying a beer back to his large fridge-house in the corner of the apartment.

Just as Misato was about to answer my question I did a double take.

Wait... what was he going to do with that beer?

Could penguins get drunk?

My sanity began to slip, but that was only the beginning, when I looked back up Misato was holding my notebook in one hand, wide open, and grinning at me.

"Misato, put that down..."

She vacated to the other side of the kitchen counter, holding it above my head as I tried to reach for it, "No! Misato!"

"Hmmm... Misato Katsuragi... 'Happy', oooooo 'Maternal', aww Shinji I didn't know you felt that way... what else is in here? 'Lonely'? Awww you're worried about me?"

I was sure my face was comparable to that of a ripened and freshly picked strawberry by that point.

She held me down with her left hand on my head, holding the notebook high in the air and looking up at it as she read. "Rei Ayanami, this oughta be good, 'Death', how dreary... hey, there's a little note here that's circled... 'Cute'." If her grin got any wider people would start mistaking her for the Cheshire Cat. "Mm mm mm, the forbidden love blossoms between two Evangelion pilots, their feelings for each other ever present, even on the field of battle!"

She slammed the notebook shut and shoved it into my chest, "I read the entire thing," she chirped, "It was riveting."

"Oh man..." I hung my head.

Either she was lying or she decided against bringing up Gendo's entry. I was betting on the latter considering the conversation we had after the Jet Alone incident.

_**"We'll cross the bridge when we come to it."**_

I nodded to myself. I would still keep an eye out, but she was right, there wasn't much room to worry with the little information I had. Once I started putting the pieces together THEN I could start worrying.

"Stop plotting and scheming!" She shouted, snapping me out of my thoughts, "Get your stuff together and let's head out, Kensuke and Touji are waiting."

"Kensuke... and Touji?"

"Yeah, your two friends? We're going to pick up Unit Two and the new pilot."

"Hang on, I've still got homework to do, do I have to go?"

She smiled mischievously, "She's a real looker, long red hair that shines in the sun, a bust that rivals yours truly... you should see her in a plugsuit."

"Gimme five minutes," I said instantly, rushing back to my room to grab my cell phone and my laptop.

"Hahahaha, you little pervert!"

* * *

><p>The carrier was huge.<p>

'Over the Rainbow' I believe was the name of it, it was a war machine that survived the Second Impact. One helluva beast on water according to Kensuke's ramblings as the helicopter's rotor died down. It was an impressive beast, and for a moment I understood why Kensuke was the way he was.

MiGs lined the deck, wings proudly held out from their body, docked and tied down tightly with their landing gear out. Pilots and air crew went about their work, conversing casually as they did so.

It was a good atmosphere, and the slight smell of the sea in the air was refreshing.

That's when I saw her...

Damn, Misato was right.

She was standing tall and proud, right in front of us as we made our way away from the helicopter that was carrying the power cable for Unit Two. Her hair was long, barely going past her mid back, and she was definately a red head with blue eyes that rivaled my own. She wore a casual dress as if she were headed for a walk on the beach, she seemed normal enough, and then I looked at her hair again and noticed the A-10 connectors.

They were red, and looked like CAT EARS of all things.

Holy... shit...

I grinned...

That is until she opened her mouth.

"Hello Misato. Is that the Third child?"

Her voice was condescending, arrogant, and nail-bitingly infuriating. She had said 'Third child' like it was the name of an expired food on a shelf. I was conflicted to say the least, I was easily taken with her, but just by the first words out of her mouth I could tell she had an extremely annoying personality.

'Listen, listen, listen...'

I repeated the mantra in my head, hoping it would help me endure the ordeal to come.

'She has a reason, everyone has a reason...'

It barely helped, I was still annoyed.

Misato said the affirmative to her question and the girl walked up to me. She looked me up and down before frowning in disapproval, "Hmph, he's not much is he?"

_My synch rate would eat your synch rate alive..._

I bit back the words, but something told me I wouldn't be able to do that for long, instead I settled for glaring.

"Oooooo scary."

I considered making a scary face joke, but refrained from that as well. Her face was anything BUT scary, she was one of the most beautiful girls I had ever laid eyes on. I retreated a little bit, considering my options. I decided to stick with 'nice guy' for now, though again, something told me that wouldn't last long. "Shinji Ikari, nice to meet you," I managed to grind out.

"I am the great Asuka Langley Sohryu, pilot of Unit Two and the Second child."

My eyebrow twitched.

This insufferable little...

I must have been letting off a killing aura, because Misato let out a nervous, cute little laugh, and stepped between us to defuse the situation, "Anyways," she said, clasping her hands together, "Who wants to go see the Admiral, everyone? Alright, let's go... right now."

* * *

><p>The Admiral was a stocky man, but he wasn't fat by any means, simply... wide. His moustache was large and grey, and he clearly wore his naval uniform proudly. He was flanked by another officer that I assumed was lower rank, I didn't really know the structure or how things worked in the military.<p>

Kensuke ran around the deck, gushing at every little thing and getting it on his camera.

Asuka stood behind me with a smug smile on her face. It still irked me, but it was less annoying than the way she talked.

"Thank you for taking the time to deliver Unit Two and the second child to us," said Misato warmly, she pulled out a sheet of paper from the manila folder she was holding, "If you'll just take the time to sign these we could be on our way."

"I'm afraid the children will have to wait to play with their new toy," he replied smugly.

My stomach flipped.

Before Misato could say anything I stepped forward, "It's not a toy."

He glared right back at me, "It is a toy and a waste of the UN's time."

My hands clenched into fists and my glare intensified, "Why don't you get in one and pilot it the next time an angel comes? It's terrifying." My left hand found its way to my right shoulder, causing my wound to flair up a bit. As confident as I was becoming as an Eva pilot, and as much as the adrenaline made me feel the rush of the battle in the moment, stepping into the Eva felt... strange.

With the information that Rei had told me... it was like stepping into a living breathing creature. The first time I killed an angel it felt like I had blood on my hands, and every time after that.

The bridge was silent.

Asuka's smirk was gone.

The admiral was still glaring at me.

Touji frowned and Kensuke stopped in his tracks.

Misato laid a hand on my shoulder, giving me a soft smile in reasurance before turning back to the admiral, "I'm his guardian," she said gently, "I've been watching him since he's been Unit One's pilot... he's been through a lot. We'll accompany you to shore where we'll unload the Eva, is that acceptable?"

"Yes."

"Hey, sup? Did I miss the party?"

Misato visibly paled and froze. It looked like she stopped breathing as well. I turned my gaze to the left where the voice had come from. In the door way leading down to the deck leaned a tall man with long dark hair in a ponytail, stubble freshly grown for a few days, and suspiciously maintained-looking, on his chin.

Asuka squealed like a little school girl right in my ear, causing me to flinch, "KAJI!"

Oh God...

* * *

><p>The cafeteria was small, but luckily it wasn't crowded when we arrived below deck, so we got lunch and sat down as a group. Kaji took a place across from Misato, smirking at her the whole time as she sat next to Touji and Kensuke.<p>

Great, that left me and the loudmouth...

She tossed me a glare when she sat down next to me.

I caught it and threw it back.

"What are you doing here Kaji?" snapped Misato suddenly.

He smirked, shrugging his shoulders, playing the innocent, "Just escorting the young lady here."

Asuka beamed and I rolled my eyes.

"I should've known," grumbled Misato.

I couldn't blame her for being cranky at the moment.

"Soooo..." Kaji suddenly turned to me and gave me a smirk, "Shinji was it? My man..." This guy was loose, easy to get along with, just like Misato. So why did she seem like she hated him? Old relationship maybe? "I heard you were living with Misato here. Tell me, is she still a tiger in the sack?"

The entire group froze in what could be best described as sheer terror and surprise. Misato spoke for us all, slamming her hands down on the table, face beat red, "What the hell is your problem? I'm his guardian!"

I turned away, trying to hide the red on my own face, "She's more like an older sister actually."

Kaji let out a chuckle, "Holy shit... How'd you manage to get this kid to worship you?" he asked.

Misato sighed and sat down, her look becoming resigned, "It's not like that," she mumbled.

Kaji nodded, his joking facade vanishing for a split second as he gave Misato a real smile, who rubbed her forehead in annoyance.

* * *

><p>"What's his problem anyway?" Askua dangled her legs over the side of the railing. Kaji leaned against it by her side. Other than her complaining the small outcropping leading down to the deck was silent. "He looks so annoying, I don't see how someone like him can be an Eva pilot."<p>

He couldn't resist anymore, Kaji let a smirk slip, "Well, did you see his synch score?"

Asuka froze, "No?"

He wasn't sure whether he should tell her or not, after all, she might actually murder the poor kid.

Eh what the hell...

"Sixty seven percent."

Asuka screamed, almost falling over and off the railing if it weren't for Kaji catching her.

* * *

><p>Misato and I were headed back up from the lounge to the deck when it happened. Just as we set foot on the flight of metal stairs...<p>

"Oi, dumkopff!"

I looked up.

Asuka stood at the top of the stairs, hands on her hip and glaring at me like I was some insignificant insect. "What the hell does that mean?" I asked, causing Misato to snigger.

That only made her more angry for some reason, "You're coming with me, I'm showing you something!"

Misato leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Go get her tiger."

I let out a groan, "You set me up."

"I didn't lie," she said.

God dammit.

I followed her across half the ship to get to the damn docking station. We set out on a small boat with an escort and arrived on another carrier within about ten minutes. This carrier was smaller and held what looked like a large white cloth on top of it.

"You taking me to see your Eva?"

She kept silent and I let out a sigh.

I decided to keep my mouth shut as we made out way to the deck around the front of the ship. She walked to the cloth, kicking off a couple of metal hooks that kept it firm, and pulled it up with gusto, "Check THIS out Third!"

"My name is Shinji, use it."

"Just shut the hell up and look already!"

I walked forward with my hands in my pockets, when I saw the Eva docked in its own large cargo room, submerged in LCL on its belly with its head turned out, I let out a low whistle, "Very impressive. I'm kinda jealous, reds my favorite color," I said.

The face had four eyes, two on each side, glaring outwards with a white and red mask. The bright fiery red of the unit lit something in me... I really was a bit jealous.

I jumped down onto a ladder with Asuka.

She rushed to climb on top of the back of the Eva while I stuck to the platforms, getting as close as I could before looking up at Asuka.

I had to admit, there was something glorious about the way she looked standing on top of the thing. "This is Unit Two!" she shouted, spreading her arms out.

God what a ham.

"Unlike Unit One, which apparently synchs with untrained first-timers, my Eva is the first TRUE Eva, built entirely for combat situations and military use in NERV!"

Okay, I was wowed, no need to let her know that though. She wasn't getting recognition from me until she repaired that broken attitude of hers.

The boat rumbled and we both nearly lost our balance. Asuka climbed down, looking a bit confused, "Earthquake?"

I rolled my eyes, "We're on the water!"

"Shut up!"

I didn't bother to retaliate, instead running to the ladder and climbing back up to the deck, Asuka hot on my heels. We ran all the way to the edge, leaning over the railing. A large explosion in the distance showed us this was no natural phenomena, "Shit! Not now!"

Asuka smirked, "Wunderbar." She ran to the rear of the deck, disappearing through a doorway.

I yanked my cell out and dialed Misato's number, following after Asuka. I knew exactly what she was thinking.

* * *

><p>Misato nodded to herself and hung up the cell phone before rushing to the bridge.<p>

The admiral was shouting out orders left and right, trying to get everything under control and find a way to retaliate against whatever was attacking them.

Kensuke rushed up behind her with his camera as she made it to the bridge, a large grin plastered on his face, she should have figured there was no way he would miss this for the world.

Misato leaned on the door frame, phone dangling from her hand and a smirk tracing her lips, "Oh Admiral," she sang, "I believe Unit Two is about to launch, it might be a good idea to get that cable we brought hooked up."

The admiral wheeled on her, "Are you dense? Why should I use my ship to power that ridiculous thing when we have all that we need on hand?"

Misato glared, "Don't be an idiot, that thing attacking is an angel! If we don't get power to the Eva you can kiss your entire fleet goodbye!"

The admiral gritted his teeth, ignoring her, "Fire on the enemy!"

"You dumbass, listen to me! Only an Eva can defeat an angel, you're wasting shells and risking the life of your men!"

* * *

><p>She stopped in a corridor, hefting the bag further up onto her shoulder, "Wait here!" With that she rushed into a side door and down a flight of stairs.<p>

I heard the sound of a bag being unzipped and smirked.

**_"You should see her in a plugsuit."_**

Yes... yes I should.

I leaned through the door frame, taking a peak.

On the level below she was struggling to get the suit on and was just about to cover her shoulders. I nodded to myself with a slight blush, pulling my head away and leaning back on the wall. I heard the slight suction noise of the plugsuit compressing and she rushed out to me, "You ready?"

I was... distracted slightly. I never really noticed it when Rei was around during synch tests, but Asuka's shape...

She definately looked good in Red, just like her Eva.

She slapped me.

Hard.

"Son of a..." I brought a hand to my cheek.

"Damn perv," she muttered, shoving a spare plugsuit into my hands, "Put this on!"

"Ohoho noooo." I dug the A-10 nerve connectors out of the pocket container in the back of the bag at her feet and set them into my hair, "All I need is the cat ears."

"Put the suit on Third," she growled.

"Lady, I will pilot an Eva NAKED before I do it in a female plugsuit."

She gritted her teeth, her glare only became more defined before she let out a frustrated groan, "Whatever, c'mon!"

Before I had time to protest she had grabbed my wrist, which had startled me a bit. She really was from a different country I guess...

Oh well, nothing I couldn't adapt to I guess.

We headed for the Eva's dock once more.

* * *

><p>"Dammit, nothing is phasing that blasted thing!"<p>

The admiral was furious. Shell after shell was fired into what looked like a giant white stingray, but nothing phased it. In fact he was pretty sure the shells didn't even reach the skin of the creature on closer inspection.

"Sir!" shouted a bridge officer, "The creature just sunk one of the carriers!"

Misato pocketed her phone, "Ready to cooperate? Get me in contact with Unit Two, now!"

* * *

><p>The plug for Unit Two was already in place, and when we got in it flooded with LCL and the lights flashed on. I stood just behind Asuka's seat, adjusting my shirt a bit. Regular clothing was a bit uncomfortable when piloting an Eva, but it was nothing I couldn't handle. Asuka handled the controls, spouting what I could only think was the setup commands for the Eva in pure German.<p>

An alarm sounded and an error message surrounded us on all sides. She turned to me and glared, "What?" I asked.

"You're thinking in Japanese and it's screwing with the system, if you're going to think do it in German!"

"I don't know German, just switch the interface to Japanese!"

"How are you even a pilot without an education? God!" She sighed, "Switching interface to Japanese."

_"Asuka, are you there?"_

Sweet, "Is that you Misato?"

_"Shinji, are you in there too?"_

I grinned, "Yeah, Asuka dragged me by the ear, said she needed my help... I guess she's just nervous. I'll see how she does"

Asuka turned on me, still glaring, "Quiet jerkass, I don't need your help, I'm just showing you how REAL piloting is done."

I could hear Misato laugh a little, _"Okay, we've got your power cable set up on this carrier, make sure you reach it in time! Be careful, that angel is causing all kinds of hell out there!"_

Unit Two lurched out from its hiding place, throwing the tarp aside and into the ocean as it did so. I eyed the interface screen and frowned, "Hmph, this unit hasn't been equipped yet, has it?"

"Why do you say that?"

"It only has the Type B equipment, we won't be able to fight underwater like this, even with the progressive knife. I thought you said this thing was built for warfare."

"I... It is, it's just that we didn't expect it to get attacked in the middle of transport."

"On a military transport? Are you insane? In case you haven't noticed we're in the middle of a war."

"Shut up! It's not like I gave the order to strip it!"

Before I could retort Unit Two had already hopped from its own transport ship and onto the next carrier, leaving a dent and sending a few jets sinking into the water, "There goes millions of dollars in taxpayer costs, Kensuke will not be pleased," I mumbled.

* * *

><p>"Nooooo!" Kensuke looked on in horror as jet after jet plunged into the depths below. Unit Two continued its hopscotch rampage across the carriers, heading straight for them, "This is such a tragedy!"<p>

Misato gritted her teeth.

Why was this thing attacking the fleet, was it after the Eva or... something else?

In all the times they had fought the angels they always headed straight for the center of Tokyo 3, right above Geofront...

Why was that?

She didn't know if it was the adrenaline or Shinji's constant prodding for information, but she found herself asking questions she never asked before.

Too bad there was no one to answer them.

* * *

><p>Unit Two landed about as smoothly as it could have on the carrier.<p>

"Alright," said Asuka, "Connecting power cable."

The timer on the HUD disappeared.

"Awesome," I said, "Let's go wipe the floor with this angel."

Asuka grinned, "I am so looking forward to this!"

_"Look out!"_

A splash of water. I moved on instinct, "Watch out Langley!" My hands shot out, forming themselves around Asuka's... and then I pushed.

The Eva moved to the side just in time, the angel's maw literally missing it by inches as it crashed into the flight deck of the carrier.

"Hey!" shouted Asuka, "Quit tryin' to hold my hand and shit!"

"Now's not the time for attitude, concentrate or we'll get thrown out of synch!"

The thing was huge, we probably would have been swallowed whole if it got its jaws around us. It flopped down, falling back into the water. I reached forward and grabbed its face, getting pulled down with it.

"What are you doing idiot? I thought you said we couldn't fight underwater!"

"Improvising!" I shouted, wrapping my other hand around the power cable attached to the ship. "Hey Misato, tell me this cable can retract automatically and you will make me the happiest man alive."

* * *

><p>Misato grinned maliciously, "Oh Shinji, you are so cruel, it only wants to eat you." She was a tactical genius after all; it was only a simple thing to find out exactly what Shinji was doing.<p>

* * *

><p>Asuka's eyes widened, "Oh I get it!"<p>

"Take over," I said, "You're more used to Unit Two than I am!"

She nodded as I let go of the controls.

_"How much?"_

"All of it."

I could almost hear Misato's grin, _"Should be enough."_

The angel sunk like a rock, Eva 02 clinging to it like an infection as it descended. The creature struggled and Asuka smirked, bringing her other arm forward and grabbing with it as well. The creature's maw extended as it let out a low groan, displaying a disturbing circle of sharpened teeth, column upon column, "The core is inside," she said, more to herself than Misato or I.

"Alright," I said, "This is all you, let's see what you can do."

Nearly at the bottom of the ocean floor the cable seized, signaling we were at the end.

_"Now, retract the cable, full throttle!"_

We were jerked and heading for the surface before we could even blink.

We broke the surface and went flying high into the air, Asuka let the power cable drop, and when the five minute counter sprung up she grinned like a madman.

So did I.

As we reached our peak, Asuka literally pried open the creature's mouth and climbed in.

* * *

><p>Misato's grip tightened on the microphone.<p>

It was now or never.

"Fire all batteries!" she screamed.

The admiral flinched.

And the sky turned into fire.

* * *

><p>I could fell the vibrations of every anti aicraft weapon and battery cannon that collided with the Angel, holding it in the air.<p>

Asuka grinned, slapping the small red button to her right.

The shoulder fin extended and she struggled past the flesh of the creature's mouth to pry out the progressive knife, sinking it into the core without a moments delay.

The angel screamed.

For a moment my mind reeled.

**Lilim scum.**

**Scourge of the Earth.**

**I have come for ADAM.**

I clutched at my head as the pain shot through it, letting out a small grunt.

The Angel and the Eva fell into the ocean once more.

The counter hit three minutes and the screen flashed an error.

"Hey, what the fuck is wrong with you Third? You're making a bunch of thought noise, clear your head! We need to get out of here!"

"I... can't..."

Her chastising voice faded.

I heard a scream.

A low wail.

Blood.

Gore.

I saw myself with the grin of a murderer.

I saw my father... _"I can't take care of you."_

White.

I saw myself.

My copy laughed.

**Burden**, it said.

**Useless**, it said.

**No one loves you**, it said.

I saw Asuka.

**Shitty pilot**, she said.

**Waste of my time**, she said.

I saw Misato.

**Can't help me**, she said.

**Isn't capable enough**, she said.

I saw Haru...

**Shin-chan, why are you hurting me?**

* * *

><p>Asuka was terrified, Shinji's eyes were widened in horror, and he was screaming like someone was digging out his insides.<p>

_"Eva Two come in, Eva two come in, this is Misato, are you still active?"_

She could hear Misato, but she couldn't look away...

The counter ticked to two minutes.

* * *

><p>Biting off more than I can chew.<p>

Can't save anyone.

No one will help.

No one wants to.

* * *

><p>"Get a hold of yourself!" she shouted, slapping him across the face.<p>

He kept screaming.

The counter ticked to one minute.

* * *

><p>Then I saw her...<p>

She was holding a small doll with red hair.

Everything was white but that one person.

She was a dead ringer for Asuka minus the glasses and the hospital gown.

_**Empathy is a double edged sword...**_

The doll dropped from her hands, disappearing into the abyss.

**_Understanding another person is a beautiful thing..._**

**"Who are you?"** she asked.

"Shinji, Shinji Ikari."

**"Will you help me?"**

"With what?"

**"Taking care of my daughter."**

_**But sometimes the person you want to understand is better left alone...**_

My mind cleared, and the angel's voice faded.

It was replaced by something warm.

I smelled the LCL.

_**However... it is always worth it to understand the people around you, and forge bonds that can't be broken.**_

My hands fell from my head as I looked around the plug unit.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You almost got us killed!" shouted Asuka.

"The angel," I said softly, "It... it got into my head while it was dying."

Asuka hmphed. I was expecting a biting retort, but she kept her mouth shut, so she must have believed me. I flexed my hands, making sure they were real, and asked myself a question.

Who had just pulled me back?

"So? I thought you said you were out here to see what I could do!" she snapped.

I smirked, "You pass, barely."

"ERGH I'm gonna kill you you little twerp!"

"Ow, watch it, damn!"

The Eva kneeled on the aircraft carrier, the noises of its two bickering pilots could be heard over the intercom.

* * *

><p>Misato and Ritsuko leaned against the railing, Ritsuko shuffling through the newly printed papers on the clipboard. Her eyes widened and she let out an audible gasp.<p>

"What is it?" asked Misato.

"Their synch rate," she said, shoving the clipboard in the tactical officer's face.

Misato's eyes widened, "What the hell..."

"When Shinji stopped screaming... the synch rate spiked to one hundred..."

* * *

><p>"So that was quite the little adventure," said Kaji, a smirk tracing his lips as he leaned against Gendo's desk. On the desk itself was a large container marked with a radiation and biohazard warning, "Is this little fella the cause of all the strife?"<p>

Gendo leaned forward, crossing his hands and grinning, "ADAM."

* * *

><p>My eyebrow twitched...<p>

The classroom was completely silent...

The red head finished writing her name on the board, whirling on the class and giving us all a spoiled smile. "My name is Asuka Langley Sohryu, charmed huh?"

Why did the universe hate me?


	9. Episode 9: It Takes Two to Tango

My wallet was lighter after I bought all that I needed. I regretted not being able to take Rei someplace a bit better than a fast food place the week before, but I had been saving up for this. A small box sat at my feet, wrapped in gift wrapping and a bow, next to it was a container packed to the brim with cleaning supplies.

'Rei Ayanami.'

I took a deep breath and rang the intercom, "Rei, it's Shinji..."

No answer, she was probably still at NERV.

Either that or...

I shook my head, feeling my face turn red just from the thought of it. Wouldn't want to repeat that incident again. Then again, that's what allowed us to be friends in the first place so I didn't mind too much.

I took the plunge and grabbed the door handle, pushing it down.

Just like last time I stepped, uninvited into the apartment.

Just like last time it was a complete mess.

Unlike last time I came prepared.

I hefted my stuff inside and closed the door behind me with a grin.

I set the present on her bed and got to work.

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 9: It Takes Two to Tango**

"Asuka Asuka Asuka," I grumbled, resting my chin on my hand, "I swear if I hear one more thing about how pretty and perfect she is I'm going to MURDER SOMEONE!"

Touji, Kensuke and I sat against the wall of the gym equipment storage shed. Kensuke had a stack of photos that happened to be part of the reason I was complaining. They were all of Asuka, and they were all smiles and sunshine, none of them showed her true colors. "At least your pictures are selling," said Touji.

Kensuke nodded, "As soon as I heard the first rumor I knew that they would." He pulled out a fist sized stack of yen.

My eyes narrowed and I snatched about half of it before he had time to retaliate, "Hey!"

"This is for damages!" I shouted, "I'm the one who has to work with her. You guys can just run away if she intimidates you!"

Touji laughed and Kensuke frowned at me, "I earned that, those photos were hard to get."

I smirked, "If I don't get my cut Asuka might 'accidentally' figure out that you're stalking her."

"Erk... damn you Shinji."

* * *

><p>The route home from school was crowded to say the least. It happened to be a weekend so everyone was rushing down the street to get out of uniform and on the shopping strip as soon as humanely possible.<p>

"Guten Tag."

I whirled around and was greeted by the sight of Asuka.

I waved, "Yo."

"Don't greet me so casually!"

"Good morning the great Asuka Langley Sohryu, I should be bowing before you!" I paused... "But I won't because my knees hurt."

Her eyebrow twitched, "You should be happy that you get to hang out with me, I'm the most popular girl in school."

I snorted, "Yeah but your piloting skills could use some work."

"What was that jerkass?"

"Oh nothing, just that you should be a little bit less... boyish?"

"I'm a much better pilot than YOU Third."

We started walking again, which, not too surprisingly, did not interrupt the process, "I saw a boy leaving a note in your shoe locker on my way out, poor bastard has no idea what he's doing."

The growl that came from her was almost not human, "It's not my fault I look good."

Yes she did. "You look good?"

She slapped me.

Hard.

Then she walked down a side street, stomping the whole way.

* * *

><p>Rei was tired, she hadn't been able to get home the day before, nor had she been able to return to school, so she was looking forward to getting a little shut eye.<p>

She opened the door to her apartment and shut it behind her. She walked about halfway in before she froze and began to inspect her surroundings. The air smelled of rich cleaner, fresh and new. The smell of blood and empty soda cans had been dispersed. She couldn't see any trash bags, her bed was freshly made, and the fridge was spotless.

On her bed was a small red box with a green ribbon and a bow with a note attached to it. She made her way to it and pulled the note from it.

_'Rei,_

_Your room was an absolute disaster area so I took the liberty to clean it up for you. Please keep it that way would you? Hope you like the present. You should smile more._

_-Shinji_

_PS. Please, for the love of God start locking your door.'_

Rei set the letter down by the present and gently took the ribbon off the top. She tore it open slowly and methodically. Inside the small box was a small teddy bear.

She smiled.

* * *

><p>What.<p>

The.

Fuck.

My room was swarmed in white boxes with the label of a moving company. Did Misato have anything to do with this?

My question was answered for me when Asuka peaked her head out from behind the bed and grinned at me, "Ah, Third, looks like you're getting replaced," she said.

I willed myself not to suffocate her with a pillow, and after taking some deep and calming breaths, "What the hell are you doing invading my room?" I shouted, "Where's all my stuff, why are you even here?"

She leaped over the bed and ran to me, getting right in my face with that smug grin of hers, "I'm living with Misato now, which means you get to go bye bye."

"Were you dropped on your head as a child or are Germans just raised stupid? This is my room!"

She stuck her tongue out at me, "And now it's mine, maybe if you ask Misato nicely she'll let you stay in the small room. Looks like you get to go back to your boring school life." Asuka made to walk out, she turned back to me at the door, "Oh well, I guess you're useless after all."

Before she could turn back to the door a hand landed on her shoulder and she screamed in fright.

Misato smirked, stepping up to Asuka and wrapping the rest of her arm around the girl, "Henpecking him already?"

"I... I..."

"It's okay if you wanna see him squirm, but don't go too far." It was less of an order and more of a veiled threat. I felt a shiver run down my spine, I never knew that Misato could be so frightening. "That goes for you too Shinji, no trying to peek on her when she's taking a shower. You two need to get along because you're both Eva pilots, you said much the same about Ayanami."

I'd like to say that Asuka looked ashamed, I really would, but all she did was give me another glare.

I must have drawn 'Worst Luck' at the beginning of the year... I couldn't even remember when I tried to think about it.

* * *

><p>Government climate analysts were often dispatched to places that had been hit hardest by the second impact, minus the countries and cities that had been completely flooded out. Tokyo 3 was among their monthly trips. As the man looked out at the water before him he let out a sigh.<p>

_"How does the edge look?" _His radio sounded.

"Still trashed... the planet's acclimatizing itself, but I doubt the water will go down anytime soon, even after that it'll take a bunch of votes and old guys talking before we spread out and start rebuilding."

_"They say it might actually get cooler next winter."_

"I don't doubt it, but it'll be a while before it actually snows again."

_"Well, go ahead an measure the depth just in case, and then we'll get started."_

The man nodded, reaching down to his bag of tools.

When he gabbed the depth meter and the line and stood back up...

"Oh my God..."

_"What is it?"_

* * *

><p>I took a deep breath, letting the LCL in the plug fill my lungs as it rose above my head.<p>

_"The angel was spotted just on the edge of Tokyo 3, surfacing at around two PM. It started walking towards us about ten minutes later. If you work together and come at it from both sides it shouldn't be an issue, we've tested the waters a bit with some dummies and the angel doesn't seem to have any special abilities."_ Misato's voice was calm, collected.

"R... right." I could hardly say the same for my own.

I was a nervous wreck.

I had fought angels before, that in itself wasn't the problem. The problem was that this was my first mission with Asuka, and Rei wasn't there. She hadn't even shown up at the briefing, and I wondered idly where she was at. More than likely called away by my father for something.

I had worked with Rei before, I LIKED working with Rei, I was COMFORTABLE working with Rei.

But this...

_"This is stupid! Why do I gotta work with this idiot anyways? I could take that angel all by myself!"_

My eyebrow twitched, "Langley would you please cooperate for once? I don't like this any more than you do but we have to do this together."

_"Shinji's right, you need to concentrate Asuka, this is important,"_ said Misato.

_"Hmph."_

_"Okay, locks released, ready?"_

"Ready."

_"Ready!"_

_"EVA LAUNCH!"_

I gritted my teeth and I was on the surface before I knew it. I looked to my left and there was Asuka, to my right was the weapons dock, I grabbed the machine gun and stepped forward, "Alright, we attack together, we'll play with the AT field and see if it has any tricks up its sleeve, ready Langley?"

_"Alright Third, back me up!"_

Eva 02 grabbed a lance from her weapons rack and charged towards the water's edge before I could get a word in.

"Idiot, come back, we don't know what it's capable of!" I was right on her heels, "Misato, I'm moving in with Langley!"

The desecrated buildings buried underwater flashed past my vision as I tried to catch up with Asuka. It was okay to be hot blooded, but this was pure stupidity, she would get herself killed this way.

About fifty more meters in front of Asuka was the angel itself. It turned its lumbering form towards us like a piece of slow construction equipment, shifting the water around it. "Ha! It's slow, this'll be easy!" Asuka just kept running, prepping the lance as she approached the creature. It was about the size of our Evas except a bit wider at the top, with lanky arms and legs and what looked like a plate of bone on its head... or what could be called its head as it had no neck. I couldn't see the core, nor did it really have a face. Instead, on the front, was what looked like a sphere in the shape of a red and blue yin yang symbol.

Asuka ran past the buildings, approaching open water and leaping into the air,_ "HAAAAAAAAH!"_

I froze in my tracks as she brought the lance down, cleaving the angel in two.

I laughed under my breath, "You must be joking."

Was it really that easy?

_"Ha! Look at that Third, piece of cake, what do you have to say now? Do I still look like a rookie?"_

_"Reading energy spike!"_

I could almost hear Asuka pale, _"Wha..."_

I brought my hand to my face and let out a sigh.

* * *

><p>The debriefing room's atmosphere was thick... to say the least. It was like a small theater with a projector at the back. Currently, on the screen, were two pictures of our glorious war machines, buried up to their hips... face first. Mine in the water, and hers just outside the city in the valley.<p>

Hyuga, Aoba, Kozou, and Kaji were all there, sitting with us, watching this travesty unfold.

I had never been so embarrassed in my life.

I had been trained.

I had fought them.

This was a mistake that ROOKIES made.

"At fourteen hundred today an angel was spotted on the outskirts of Tokyo 3 in the ruins. Eva 01 and Eva 02 confronted the angel at approximately fourteen thirty, splitting it into two halves, which then attacked individually. Both units have been disabled barring repairs."

I let out a groan of agony.

It was as if the debriefer were even laughing at us, switching the slides like the good little lieutenant that he was.

The picture switched to that of the angel, which was still in two pieces and frozen in place as it repaired its damaged skin, "An N2 mine was then dropped on the angel by order of the UN, but we're still seeing a blood pattern which means the core is undamaged. Estimated time of attack is about a week, give or take a couple of days. We have attempted to kill it using standard equipment, but I'm afraid the core cannot be located at this time."

"This is all your fault you know!" shouted Asuka, turning on me.

I glared at her, "My fault? You're the one charging in blindly like an idiot, I thought you'd been trained for this but apparently not!"

"You got in my way!"

"I didn't even get a chance to TRY and help you! This isn't some giant robot anime, it's a military operation!"

"Enough!" shouted Kozou, standing and frowning at the both of us. "Your job as Eva pilots is to defeat the angels! Not bicker like children!"

I didn't bother pointing out the irony in that statement, it would probably just piss him off more. But it wasn't my fault dammit!

Asuka stormed off with the scream of a spoiled child.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked behind me to see it was Kaji, smirking at me, "Don't worry about it kid, we got plenty of time before it attacks again. You two really need to get your shit together though, this isn't a game you know."

I nodded, "Yeah... hey Kaji-san, what do you do when you CAN'T understand someone no matter how hard you try?"

His smirk turned knowing and he brought a hand to his chin, letting out a low chuckle, "You're exactly like me, you love temperamental women don't you?"

I blushed, "Th... that's not what I meant. Yeah she's beautiful but I just... ERGH! I've never had this much trouble pegging someone before, it's like she doesn't want to be understood by anyone."

"Women are difficult my friend, you're in a time of life when you learn that. As for Asuka..." he hesitated for a moment, "You'll have to get her when she's down, there's no other way."

"Down? What do you mean?"

Kaji grinned, "As little time as I spent with her there is one thing I learned about her. She is extremely competitive, just show her up in something and she'll run away pouting."

"And how does this help me?"

"That's when you come in on your white horse," he said with a grin, "'Asuka-chan, I'm sorry, I did not know that would hurt you, please, we have to work together'... like that."

I frowned, "I'll think twice before asking you advice from now on."

"Trust me man, that shit works, you'll see. There's no need to erm... say it like I did though. Just be there when she's down in the dumps."

"I think I get what you're saying."

"Alright, sweet. Hopefully Misato can sort out this mess with what I gave her."

For a second I thought I saw a mischievous glint in his eyes, but it was gone before I knew it.

* * *

><p>The stacks of papers caused her to feel sick. Cost of repairs, damaged equipment, damaged property, used weaponry, expended ammo, and the cost of the trip to explain why in the hell two hotshot pilots screwed up on their FIRST mission together so horribly.<p>

It swarmed her desk and towered over her.

She frowned, "Damn it all to hell..."

"You alright?"

Misato wheeled around and let out a squeal of delight, "Oh Ritzy-chan, you've come to save my bacon again! Have I ever told you that you're the greatest friend ever?"

Ritsuko smirked, holding up a small compact hard drive.

"Oh you brought me a present, how sweet of you!"

The scientist chuckled, "You're lucky the commander wasn't here, they're talking about you being knocked down to Captain, and if he were here you'd be packing your bags already." She held out the drive and Misato grabbed for it, but she pulled it back a bit, "And as much as I wanted to help you... I wasn't the one who put this together."

She whirled the drive around, and on the other side was a small sticky note.

_'Have fun, sexy. -Kaji'_

Misato took the small drive and glared at first, but her expression softened into a small... if not loving smile, "That idiot," she said softly.

Ritsuko smiled and turned around, walking out of Misato's office.

* * *

><p>"You are to live, sleep, eat, and work together at all times. The only time I want to see you apart is when one of you is bathing or using the bathroom, and I mean it. In four days we will attack the angel, and you two have to be perfectly coordinated or so help me I will break you."<p>

Asuka and I sat across from Misato at the table, who was currently reaming into us and providing her new plan at the same time, lord knows how that was possible.

Pen Pen let out a squawk from Misato's feet, as if to back up his owner.

"The music will provide your cues, think of it like dancing and you shouldn't have an issue."

I felt heat rise to my face, why did it seem that everyone was trying to set me up with this stubborn idiot?

* * *

><p><em>I was twelve.<em>

_"Haru-chan..."_

_She looked up at me from the book she was reading. "Yeah?" Her expression softened even more when she saw my black eye. "What happened?"_

_The park around us was quiet save for the chirping of birds, and the sun was out._

_I sat next to her on the bench and smiled, "I... got in a fight today." I took in a deep breath of the fresh air, "He was pushing me around, laughing at me, screaming in my face I didn't have a mom."_

_Haru folded a corner of the page and set the book down. Her expression was rife with sadness when she wrapped her arms around me and tucked her head into my shoulder, "I'm sorry..."_

_I laughed a little sadly, "Why are you apologizing?"_

_"You don't have many friends at school... do you?"_

_"I don't have any," I mumbled._

_We stayed like that for a while, her arms just wrapped around me._

"Ikari, please pay attention when you're in my class! Sleeping will not be tolerated."

My eyes snapped open to a bunch of giggling girls and a furious teacher. "Right, sorry, it's been a rough week sir."

He nodded, he expression softening a bit, "So I've heard, just don't let it happen again."

"Yes sir."

I looked at Asuka real quick, who was taking notes furiously as the teacher continued his lecture. She seemed utterly and completely concentrated... like tunnel vision.

Pure and utter focus.

I looked back to my red school lap top and opened up a chat window.

-'S: Why can't you concentrate like that while you're in your Eva?'

I waited a minute...

She moved her hand to her laptop and clicked something.

Her glare was totally worth it.

-'S:We fight that thing in a few days, I'm just saying that you need to be more focused next time.'

I waited a few minutes, still with no reply.

I grunted in slight frustration.

This woman was driving me insane.

-'S: Why won't you listen to me?'

-'A: Because you're an amateur.'

-'S: Says the one who charged into battle and got our shit fried.'

Her pencil snapped in her hands and she glared at me.

-'S: Listen Langley, I want to get along with you, I really do, but you're making it unnecessarily hard for me. You need to back up and look at things from a new perspective. We're not competing here, we have to work together.'

-'A: Well aren't you just mister perfect?'

I could almost hear the sarcasm dripping from her voice.

-'S: That's it isn't it? You just push people away. I think I've finally got you figured out. I want to help you but you won't let me.'

-'A: Just shut up and pay attention.'

I didn't bother replying.

Instead I pulled out my spiral notebook and cracked it open, pulling the pen out.

'Asuka Sohryu: stubborn, strong, hot blooded.'

I added one more...

'Scared.'

* * *

><p>The bell sounded.<p>

Asuka and I scrambled to answer. I ended up pulling the door open, her right behind me. She literally CLIMBED up onto my back and peeked out the door with me.

I was still getting used to having her in the house. Not only was her personality rash, but she had no qualms about touching or hitting someone, and she liked to look people straight in the eye when she talked to them.

It wasn't a bad thing by any means, but I wasn't quite adapted to it yet.

I waved to my three friends and grinned, "Yo!"

Hikari's jaw dropped, behind her were Touji and Kensuke.

I couldn't blame her for her reaction, after all we must have been quite the pair.

We both wore loose fitting shirts with random musical notes on them, and we both had SDAT players and earphones, and even the same blue pants.

"Yo," Asuka repeated.

"Oh my GOD!"

Hikari freaked out to say the least.

Touji bit his knuckle, trying not to laugh, and Kensuke just kind of... stared at us.

"I, the great Shinji Ikari, stand humbly in your presence!"-"I, the great Asuka Langley Sohryu, stand humbly in your presence!"

"Dude!" shouted Touji with a grin, "Are you two dating or something?"

I grinned and Asuka visibly paled.

"Nah," I said, "I'm the only one who's having fun here."

"Shut up!" snapped Asuka.

"I don't hear you synching!" Misato shouted from the living room.

"Misato made us like this."-"Misato made us like this."

Hikari raised an eyebrow.

"Come in."-"Come in."

* * *

><p>"Oh man, you must be joking!" shouted Touji, laughing the whole time, "If I knew this was happening I would have come here sooner."<p>

"Yep," said Misato, a grin playing her lips.

"So how's it going?" asked Hikari, putting a happy Pen Pen in her lap and fiddling with his wings while she pet him.

They were all currently crowded around the table, Rei had come over to visit and thanked me for the bear and her room as well, which for some reason only made Asuka even more pissed off than she already was.

As for Asuka and I... well...

"Not too well I'm afraid," grumbled Misato, eying us from the table.

Misato had taken it upon herself to set up a musical synch activity with a small game. There were two pads and a score board was set to display whether we synched well enough or bombed it completely. It was like Extreme Twister... with music... and a pissed off red head.

**[Fail]**

"Sheiza!" shouted Asuka, chucking her ear phones across the room as we failed to synch once more.

My hand was still on the lit up pad when I looked up at her, "Take a chill pill," I said.

"I can't work with this idiot, there's no way I could ever synch with him!"

Misato raised an eyebrow.

Asuka smirked, "I'm the only one who can, aren't I?"

I gave Rei a grin.

She looked at me, calm and emotionless as always, and stood from the table. I stood and stretched my back a bit, "You been keeping your room clean?" I asked as she picked up the ear phones and moved to replace Asuka.

She nodded.

Asuka vacated from the pad, a confused look flashing across her face.

"Alright..." I took a deep breath, "Ready Rei?"

"Yes."

The music and the game started.

The pads flashed.

Right hand, left hand, left foot, left hand, right foot.

We moved in perfect synch, in the end it ended up looking like some exotic tribal dance, not the clumsy Twister game that Asuka and I had been playing a minute ago.

When we finished Misato nodded, "Very good, looks like if you can't do it we have a stand-in Asuka."

Asuka blanched, and for the first time since I met her...

I saw fear in her eyes, "I... but I... I mean..."

"Do you feel up to it?" asked Misato.

The trio remained completely silent, feeling the now heavy atmosphere in the room.

"I just..."

Asuka was at a loss for words and she had lost all color.

The fire that I had come to hate and admire at the same time all but fizzed out...

And I felt horrible.

But it wasn't to last, her glare and complexion returned, "Stupid game! I don't need this bullshit!" She stormed out of the apartment and Hikari glared at me.

Hikari looked like she was about to say something, but before she could I took off my ear phones and handed them to Rei, "Hang on to these, I'll go get her," I said softly.

The class rep's glare softened as I made my way out of the apartment.

* * *

><p>The sun was setting and I had already been looking for an hour when I stumbled upon the convenience store. I sighed when I saw her moping in front of the sodas in the cooler and walked in. She didn't turn when the bell sounded, so I made my way to her.<p>

When I was a few feet away in the same isle I opened my mouth to speak.

"Don't say it, I know I have to pilot Eva Two," she said.

I smiled a little, "That's... way off actually."

She sighed and turned to me, "Then what were you going to say Third? Were you going to apologize or something?"

"No," I said firmly, "You stormed out of there like an angry child who didn't get her ice cream, if someone should apologize it's you." My voice softened, "I came to get you because I was worried about you."

She looked surprised for a split second before turning her head away in a huff, "I don't need you worrying about me!"

Sure you didn't.

"Listen Asuka..." It was the first time I used her given name, "We're working together at NERV now, there's absolutely no reason to be at each others throats like this. We'll probably get in a lot of arguments anyways with the way we are, but we shouldn't be so antagonistic towards each other."

"What do you know anyway?"

"A lot more than you think." I sighed and shook my head, "Fine, be as pushy as you want to be, but at least understand that we are a team, and I don't want to let anyone on my team down."

Her expression faded and she frowned, "A team? Are you joking?"

I smirked, "Does it look like I'm joking? We drafted you whether you like it or not. The trio, Rei, Misato, and now you too."

She snarled a bit, "Work together huh?"

I nodded, "Yep."

"Sheiza..." she grumbled.

"What?"

"I came here without my wallet."

"I'll pay."

* * *

><p>I took a big chug of the soda and let out a satisfied sigh. The sunset was beautiful. We sat on a small bench on the sidewalk of a bridge overlooking the city. The sun was tucked in between a few skyscrapers, and the orange of the sky made me feel a bit warm.<p>

"I'll show them what I'm capable of!" Asuka shouted, standing up on the bench and scarfing a sandwich.

"Hey Asuka..."

"Hmm?"

"What's your favorite color?"

She finished swallowing the sandwich and raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"You know mine, red, so what's yours? Just because you wear it all the time doesn't mean it's your favorite."

She glared and turned away, looking back to the sunset and sitting back down, "It's red anyways, why do you wanna know so bad?"

"Just curious." I fiddled with the soda in my hands, "I think something big is gonna happen soon."

"What kinda vague statement is that?"

I chuckled, "It is pretty vague, huh? Asuka... I'll watch your back if you watch mine."

"Hmph, fine, but you better keep up with me."

* * *

><p>The next few days flew by. We listened to the music every hour we weren't in school, and we played the game for two hours after getting home from training with our Evas. We had perfected the synch with the game and on a training course.<p>

Asuka's synch score with her Eva had even risen from thirty-seven percent to forty-six.

Things were going well, and it was the night before we would attempt our attack on the angel. I sighed and clicked on my SDAT player, laying down on the bed and opening up my notebook.

25: Beethoven's 9th

I looked through all the names I had down.

The entries I had under Gendo's name still bugged me. Despite Misato's reassurances it was still eating at my insides.

I went over everything in my head...

I started to write.

_1. Gendo calling me here for some other purpose than the angels?_

_2. Jet Alone incident, who set it up?_

_3. Attack on fleet transporting Eva._

The attack... that bugged me most of all. I had been so distracted with trying to get through to Asuka that I hadn't noticed it before... then again I couldn't be too sure, I would have to ask Misato about it later.

I skipped that one for the moment.

_4. Why is Gendo so attached to Rei?_

This was my second concern. I was worried about Rei, and I hadn't really talked to her in two weeks. I reminded myself to remedy this situation.

"Hey, where's Misato at?" shouted Asuka from the bathroom.

I was tempted to peek over my shoulder when I heard her walking around, but something told me that would result in pain. "She's at work," I said, "Something about still having a shit ton of paperwork to do. She won't be back until morning."

I heard her let out a giggle behind me and rolled over, "What's so funny?'

"That means we're all alone." She walked forward, picked up her mattress, and shoved it in the adjacent room. She laid down on it facing me and glared, "You open this door and you're a dead man," she said, shutting it with her foot.

I rolled my eyes and went back to thinking.

It didn't really take me anywhere, I needed more information.

I ended up just drifting off to sleep instead.

Trying to connect dots that weren't there was a waste of time.

* * *

><p>"Hey, hey Shin-chan."<p>

"What is it?"

"I got you a present, you said it was your birthday right?"

"Wow, cool!"

* * *

><p>My eyes snapped open when I heard the toilet flush in the bathroom. I yawned and rubbed my face a little bit. Looking around the room I could tell that it was still night time, so I let my head hit the pillow and tried to get back to sleep.<p>

At least until Asuka plopped down right in front of me.

Her night clothes...

God give a guy a break, was she TRYING to show off all that cleavage? I swallowed, but my mouth was completely dry. I thought about stopping the SDAT player... maybe the classical music was too loud, it would wake her up.

I froze, maybe the sound of me hitting the button on the player would wake her up too.

'I should just move... yeah, I'll go to the other bed.'

I couldn't, it was like some invisible force as holding me there.

Her lips.

God...

I leaned forward.

'What the fuck am I doing?'

26: Midnight Sonata

"Mama..." I froze when I saw the tear fall from her eye.

I frowned.

It was for an instant but...

Man what was I doing? I laughed with a hushed breath, she would have killed me... but still...

For some reason... I didn't get up and move to the other mattress.

I stayed right there.

* * *

><p>The eggs and bacon sizzled. I whistled a cheery tune as I finished up the breakfast. I set my serving on one plate and hers on another, picking it up before heading back to the room. Like Misato, I preferred western breakfasts.<p>

Asuka was still sawing logs... which was good because if she woke up with me right in front of her they probably wouldn't have found my body.

"Oi, Asuka." Her eyes slowly opened and I held out the plate to her, "Breakfast in bed?"

I grinned when I saw her face turn red, "God you perv, what the hell is wrong with you acting like we're married or something!" She sat up and took it from me with another glare.

She froze, "Wait, what am I doing here?" she asked.

Uh oh.

"You were sleep walking."

"What? I don't sleep walk!"

"You did last night."

"And I suppose you just let me do it!"

"If I woke you up you would have throttled me anyways, besides, you're cute when you sleep."

She paled.

"I just said that out loud didn't I?"

"Get out!"

* * *

><p>Ritsuko smiled at her moping friend, who was currently downing a cup off coffee across the table, "So," she said, "Is it work, a man?"<p>

"Both." grumbled Misato.

"Still in love I see."

"I... I didn't say that!"

"Right, so, hows Operation Teenager going?"

"Well hopefully it doesn't work too soon, I stayed here all night last night."

"I could see how that would be a problem," she said, giving a sagely nod, "Still, they fight so much they might as well. It might ease some of the tension."

Misato nodded and let out a groan, "Is it so hard for two people to get along? Shinji wants to be her friend but she's so stubborn."

"Sounds like a certain girl I know."

"C'mon Ritzy, just drop it. I'm only worried about Shinji."

"You've really taken a shine to that kid."

Misato smiled, "Yeah, I guess I have. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I didn't."

* * *

><p><em>"Alright Thir... Shinji, you ready?"<em>

Asuka sounded pumped.

I was too, "Yeah, let's do it!"

_"EVA LAUNCH!"_

The dock clamps were loosened and the power cables disconnected, so when we hit surface we flew high into the air.

We had one minute.

The first movement started.

I smirked, hitting the button to the left of me and deploying my progressive lance.

These lances were... modified.

The angel was right below us in the streets, less than fifty yards away. We moved as one... like a dance, tossing our lances at the angel. Mine impaled the ground in front of it, hers behind.

The lances opened and let loose a steel blade, forming a wall and splitting the creature in half. It formed into two smaller versions of itself, a light silver blue and a deep red.

Forty-five seconds.

The First movement hit its apex.

We landed just as the docks deployed our weapons right next to us.

Asuka a rail gun, me a sub machine gun.

Our fury was unleashed.

Forty seconds.

The second movement blared in our ears.

Asuka traded for another machine gun just as the angel recovered its balance.

Thirty seconds.

It fired a volley at us.

Side by side, like gymnastics down the street in giant robots.

Backflip.

Backflip.

Backflip.

Just as planned, our feet landed on the switch installed in the street and a titanium wall was thrust up in front of us, providing us with cover. Volley after volley from the angel, beam after beam, hit the wall, creating indents.

Twenty five seconds.

I nodded to Asuka.

The final movement of the song!

We rushed out of our cover, holding down the triggers on our guns.

* * *

><p>Misato smirked.<p>

Oh yeah, this was happening.

The entire control room was absolutely silent in their anticipation. It was like watching a performance.

This wasn't a battle anymore.

It was literally a thing of art.

* * *

><p>The ammo ran as soon as the final movement reached its peak.<p>

Our guns were thrown to the side.

An upper cut to our respective halves.

And then a downward kick.

The creature was pushed together from the sheer force of our blows.

Just as it recovered the two cores were exposed as they tried to merge.

We both grinned.

Ten seconds.

We jumped into the air side by side, movements as one.

And launched straight into the cores, one foot for each. Our kick was powerful enough to send us careening into the ground. I saw the cores flash and die as our Eva's barreled through the streets and into the side of the mountain from the sheer force of the impact.

The final movement reached its crescendo, and the angel was defeated.

Zero seconds.

* * *

><p>My head was dazed... I rolled out of the cockpit.<p>

Ugh...

The crater we were in was huge. I stumbled onto Unit One's leg, trying to keep my balance. Apparently I had landed on top of Unit Two, and she had landed on top of the remains of the angel.

Her plug shot out and she shortly followed, looking a lot less worse off than I was.

She stepped forward onto her Eva's back and glared at me, "What the hell were you doing landing on top of me!"

"We beat it didn't we?"

"That's beside the point! I told you not to get in my way again!"

"I didn't!"

"You were right there, you landed on me!"

"Asuka, shut up!" Her mouth clamped close, and her glare never left her face. I smiled, "And thanks."

She huffed, "Whatever, just don't get used to it, like I said, stay out of my way."

* * *

><p>Misato sighed and laughed, "These kids."<p>

"They're embarrassing us again," grumbled Kozou.


	10. Episode 10: Heat

**A/N: please, if you guys are faving and alerting the story leave a review. I'll keep writing no matter what but I like to feel my ego inflated. Criticism helps too, just no flames.**

Asuka's hold on his arm was... uncomfortably tight, but he kept his mouth shut for the moment. The streets were crowded considering it was a Saturday after school. They headed down the shopping strip, looking for what... Kaji didn't know.

"Thanks for coming shopping with me Kaji, I was afraid you'd say no."

The man did his best to keep smirking, this was a bit... "Yeah," he said cheerfully, "Shinji was busy wasn't he?"

"What, that idiot? Why would I go shopping with him?"

Kaji scratched his cheek with his free hand as they turned a corner, "Well it seems he's taken with you."

She snorted, "Yeah right, even if he did like me he wouldn't stand a chance, especially not against you."

"Why not? He seems like a charming kid, confident, charismatic, if not a bit stumbly."

Asuka frowned, as much as she didn't want to admit it...

No.

Nonono!

Her grip tightened as they entered the store.

Kaji raised an eyebrow, "You're shopping for a swim suit?"

"Yep," she said cheerfully, pulling away from him and running down the isle, "School trip's coming up, I gotta be prepared."

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 10: Heat**

"What do you mean we can't go on the school trip!"

As loud and annoying as Asuka was at the moment it was hard to choose who to agree with. Misato sat calmly across from us both at the table, sipping her beer, "Exactly what I said. It's for work."

"You mean we're on standby 24/7?"

Misato nodded, "Yeah pretty much. It's for the better, after all, you never know when an angel is going to attack."

Asuka wheeled on me, "Shinji, say something will ya? You said we were a team remember?"

I stumbled, "Erm... well, I also said Misato was a part of it too, so... it's kind of hard to take a stance on something like this."

Misato smirked and crossed her arms, "Good boy."

"Ugh you are so henpecked!" screamed Asuka.

"I'd be henpecked no matter what side I took!"

Misato laughed a little bit, "Think of it as a chance to catch up on your studies." She slipped a couple of hard disks onto the table, "After all, with grades like these you need it," her voice turned a bit threatening.

Shit...

Asuka and I paled.

"Y... yes Ma'am," we droned.

* * *

><p>I yawned loudly, leaning back in the chair at the pool side table. My laptop screen displayed a list of problems that I had yet to really nail down, most of it was physics.<p>

Rei, donning a white one piece, dived in at the further end of the pool.

Hmm, she was pretty graceful. I stood and stretched a little bit.

"Watcha got there?" piped up a voice.

Asuka stood in front of me in a red and white striped two piece that I could only assume she had bought for the trip. Blood rushed to my face, "W... well, physics crap," I said with a nervous laugh, "It's the subject I'm having the most trouble with." I sat back down in the chair, "Velocity, mass, force, thermal expansion, shit like that."

Asuka laughed in an almost mocking manner, "You must be joking, that stuff is entry level. Thermal expansion is easy, when something gets hot it expands, that's why cylinders in engines work."

She leaned over my laptop, pretty much shoving her bust in my face. I cleared my throat... and remembered the night before our fight with the last angel.

'Jeez, for someone who hates me so much she sure likes showing herself off to me.'

"There, all done," she chirped, clicking out the first problem, "It's not so hard."

I raised an eyebrow, "If it isn't hard then why are your grades as bad as mine?"

She frowned, standing up straight once more, "I can't read kanji too well."

"If you want me to I can tutor you," I said.

She looked taken aback for a second before she recovered, "You, tutor me? That would be laughable."

I smirked, "Hey, you're kanji sucks, the offer still stands no matter how much you try to let your pride get in the way. In return you can help me with physics. We're on a team, remember?"

She huffed, "Alright fine, you're on."

"Why does everything have to be a challenge for you?"

She glared at me, "That's what life is, a series of challenges!"

"You need to relax," I said with a laugh, "If you're all business all the time it's gonna end up breaking you in the end."

For a second I thought I saw her look sad and a bit horrified, but she recovered the next instant, "It's none of your business anyways!" she shouted, running to the end of the pool where Rei jumped in.

"H... hey... you could slip!"

My warning came too late.

Asuka plummeted, hitting her head on the side of the pool as she fell in.

I moved as soon as Rei came up from the other side of the pool, "Rei, help me out!" I shouted.

Her blank expression gave way for one of confusion as she dropped the towel she was about to use, then one of understanding when she realized what had happened. She dived in with no hesitation.

I jumped in a split second after.

Asuka lay at the bottom as we both moved towards her.

I grabbed her right arm just as Rei was on us grabbing her left.

We hauled her to the surface.

I jumped out of the pool and took her from Rei, laying her down as she coughed and sputtered the water from her lungs.

"Ugh, what happened?" she brought a hand to her forehead.

My heart was beating so fast I almost didn't hear her over the sound of it.

"You fell," said Rei calmly, holding onto the edge of the pool, "I assisted Shinji with saving you."

"Wha..." she sat up, running a hand across the back of her head and flinching when she touched where she got hit, "Sheiza."

"Idiot!" I shouted, "I told you to be careful!"

She just stared at me with a blank expression, then it traded for a smirk, "Hah, were you worried about me?" Her condescending tone was back.

My heart froze when I finally realized...

"Asuka..."

"I'm fine!" she declared, standing up and cracking her neck, "Just a little slip, thanks though!"

Just as she was about to turn and walk away I stood and grabbed her wrist. I didn't know what to say... we stood there like that for what seemed like an eternity. "Let go dumbass!" she pulled away from me, storming out of the pool area.

I finally realized there was something wrong with her...

"Rei," I said softly, "Let's... get out of here, I don't feel like swimming anymore."

She nodded and pulled herself out of the pool, "Is Ms. Sohryu damaged?"

I nodded, "Yeah. Do you think you can stick with another stupid plan of mine?"

"Yes."

* * *

><p>"Two hundred more feet..."<p>

The probe ship was cracking under the pressure of the magma in the volcano, it was only a matter of time. The lab room was deathly quiet. "Ma'am," piped up one of the scientists, "If you take it any deeper it'll collapse in on itself."

Misato leaned toward the monitor, biting her thumb, "I know that, NERV will pay for the damages."

Another beep.

The probe was crushed almost instantly, "Well, that's it for that I guess," grumbled Misato, "What'd you find?"

The scientist on her right paled, "A blue pattern."

* * *

><p>"The angel is at an estimated one-thousand and one-hundred feet." The panel below our feet in the briefing room lit up, displaying what looked like an fetus inside of a cocoon, Misato continued, "The plan is to send down an Eva unit, with adjustments for heat and pressure of course. We have an energy cage that can be used to capture it alive."<p>

"We're capturing it alive?" I asked.

"Yes," said Ritsuko, "It can be used for research in order to figure out how they tick."

"Isn't that a bit dangerous?"

The room went silent before Misato continued, "One of you will do the diving with Type D hazard equipment, the other one will be on standby with Type C just in case something goes awry."

"Why Type C?" I asked, "Wouldn't the other need D as well?"

Misato shook her head, "The Evas can withstand extreme heat and pressure, but only so much. We'll be lowering the Type D Eva slowly, so it'll need the extra time that the hazard suit gives it."

I nodded.

"Will I be the diver?" asked Rei.

"No," said Misato, "Unit Zero is on standby, since it's a prototype it can't be equipped with the hazard suit. It's between Asuka and Shinji."

Our hands shot up at almost the same time, but Asuka...

"Oh pick me, me me me!" she shouted.

Misato chuckled, "Alright, Asuka will be the diver, get ready."

* * *

><p>Asuka finished putting on the suit in front of her locker, hitting the button to cause it to contract against her, "Hmm, this heat sui isn't very different from a normal plugsuit," she said.<p>

Ritsuko stood at the side, going through her papers on the clipboard in an absent minded fashion, "Hit the button on your right wrist."

"Oh, okay."

* * *

><p>"This is such a joke!" she whined.<p>

I bit my right knuckle, trying not to burst out in laughter. Unit Two was already suited up with what looked like an astronaut's suit, bowl head and everything. 'Type D' was written in bold english letters on the front.

That wasn't what was so amusing though...

Asuka had come from the locker room looking like she erm... put on a few pounds.

Ritsuko had failed to mention to her that the anti-heat plug suit was a bit hefty, and she ended up looking like that one kid from Willy Wonka that ate the blueberry, except... red.

I sniggered.

"Shut up Shinji! You know what? You should be the one doing this!"

"How disappointing," sounded a voice from the catwalk above. Asuka and I looked up and there was Kaji, leaning on the railing with a grin, "I was looking forward to seeing you in action Asuka."

Asuka visibly paled and let out a groan of embarrassment.

Oh man this was too good, I wish I had a camera or something, "Hey Asuka... I think I saw a treadmill for sale the other day," I said with a grin.

She glared at me, "I will kill you."

I grabbed Rei's shoulders and pushed her in front of me, "You have to go through her first!"

Rei turned her head over her shoulder, raising an eyebrow at me.

"What? I thought all quiet people knew martial arts or something."

"I have no time to take classes."

"What do you do in your free time?"

"Read."

"That's it?"

I was so caught up in my conversation with Rei I didn't notice Asuka coming towards me, which was saying a lot considering how... round she was at the moment.

Asuka slapped me...

Hard.

* * *

><p><em>"Crane ready..."<em>

Asuka's mech was strapped to the hook of the large crane above the crack in the ground, suited up and holding the red stick that opened up to create a cage field. Its prog knife was in a holster strapped around the fat suit's left leg. The forest was quiet, as if every creature had vacated the area when we arrived, which wasn't a surprise. I heard the sound of jet engines and looked up, "Why's the Air Force here?"

_"They're ordered to bomb out the area with N2 mines if the mission goes awry,"_ said Ritsuko.

"What? You guys are scientists, aren't you noncombatants? What kind of idiot would order something like that?"

_"Commander Ikari ordered it."_

My grip tightened around the controls.

That son of a bitch.

I gritted my teeth.

_"We don't need to worry about that,"_ said Asuka, _"I can do this no problem, I'll be in and out with the angel before you know it!"_

"Unit One ready on standby," I managed to grind out.

_"Alright, begin lowering Unit Two."_

The crane lurched and Asuka began her descent into the lava below her.

* * *

><p>The small control trailer they had set up was designed specifically for this situation, computers showing depth, pressure, and estimations lined the wall.<p>

"Depth is three hundred... three hundred fifty," said Maya.

Misato's grip tightened on the back of the chair she was standing behind, Ritsuko was the only one who noticed her slight twitch.

"Five hundred, five hundred fifty."

* * *

><p>Asuka frowned, "I can't see anything! Switching to CR vision." Her display changed slightly, and her surroundings became bathed in random shadows throughout the magma. "Oh man, that didn't help at all."<p>

_"Just squint real hard."_

"Shut up Shinji, you're not helping!"

_"Depth is one thousand one hundred, approaching estimated point of contact."_

Asuka heard something shatter, _"What was that?"_ asked Shinji.

_"A coolant line just ruptured, Asuka, do you see the target?"_

Asuka frowned, "No, I can't see anything, it's not down here."

_"Lower her further,"_ said Misato.

_"Ma'am, are you sure? The suit can only take so much."_

_"Yes, lower her."_

"It's okay," said Asuka softly, "I agree with Misato, we have to do this. I really wish I could get outta this hot suit though."

_"Tell you what Asuka,"_ said Misato, _"We'll go straight to the hotsprings as soon as we get you out of there, all three of us."_

She had to admit, that sounded nice.

Nothing surrounded her but magma, the heat was killing her. Sweat came off her brow like someone poured a bucket on top of her head. She adjusted herself slightly with a frown, so this was what it felt like to be morbidly obese.

_"Depth at one thousand five hundred."_

Another crack.

_"Another coolant line has been ruptured, the progressive knife's holster has shattered, Unit Two has lost its knife."_

A feeling of nervousness crept up into her.

Yesterday...

She almost drowned.

This time she was in magma, not water.

She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself.

This was no problem for her, she was good at stuff like this.

'Just pretend it's water, just pretend its water.'

_"Depth at one thousand and six hundred."_

"Wait, I see it!" shouted Asuka.

About thirty meters away was the cocoon. The thing was creepy to say the least. Nonetheless, Asuka turned on the thrusters on the haz suit and began her approach.

_"Remember Asuka, the current down there is strong, so you have to catch it the first time, otherwise you won't see it again."_

"I know that!"

The creature became larger in her vision. She pushed the cage forward, "Deploying cage." It automatically extended and activated, forming a rectangular shield of energy around the angel, "Gotcha, it's like going fishing! Alright, beginning my ascent."

Her Eva lurched when the crane activated, pulling her up bit by bit.

Before she got past the first hundred feet she felt another lurch, "Oh no."

_"Reading an energy spike! The angel is hatching!"_

_"Change of plans!"_ shouted Misato, _"Kill that damn thing!"_

Asuka released the cage just as the creature expanded enough to break it. It looked like some giant deformed fish with three fins and four eyeballs on top of its head after it hatched, a far cry from the almost human-looking fetus that it was in the cocoon. Asuka cursed under her breath, pulling away from it as fast as possible.

She reached down to grab her prog knife...

"Shit! I forgot, my prog knife is gone."

_"We'll send you Shinji's, just hang in there!"_

The creature wheeled around and charged her.

"You might wanna hurry it up Shinji!"

* * *

><p>I ran forward, cursing under my breath. Stupid shit like this going wrong...<p>

I pulled out my prog knife, keeping it in its holster and tossing it down as hard as I could into the lava below, "Special delivery!"

* * *

><p><em>"His knife will be there in about forty seconds!"<em>

Not fast enough.

The creature's maw opened, clamping to her helmet with tentacles from its throat.

"Shit, releasing waist clamp and crane line!" The clamp pulled itself back, and her way out was gone.

_"What the hell? It just opened its mouth in magma? What's this thing made of?"_

Asuka struggled against it, reaching up and attempting to pull herself free, but the angel was much too strong. She barely managed to grab the knife and unholster it when it fell past her.

She moved to stab one of the eyes.

It was like poking metal with a bare finger, "What the..."

_"The creature is hardened from adapting to the magma!"_

Her helmet compressed, she felt it squeeze into her head slightly, "Agh!"

The glass snapped.

_"Another coolant lines been ruptured!"_

_"Wait... coolant,"_ mumbled Shinji, _"Asuka, thermal expansion!"_

Her eyes widened in realization, "Right!" Her left arm was spraying coolant from the ruptured line, she thrust it forward, pushing it into the angel's maw. "Eat this you son of a bitch!"

It groaned and she brought the knife down as hard as she could into the eye.

The angel's grip on her helmet loosened, and it let out a low groan before falling from her and fading away.

The hazard suit began to compress from the areas that had been exposed. She pulled herself out of the thing just as it collapsed in on itself. The temperature inside her Eva rose exponentially. She was so hot she wasn't even sweating anymore. Her throat was parched.

Unit Two began to sink, "Well, I got him," she said softly, "But I guess..."

This was it.

* * *

><p>"Shinji, what are you doing?"<p>

"Diving," I answered simply.

"But she's so deep, you could only get down a thousand feet at best, she's still sinking!"

"Misato!" I snapped.

She quieted herself. I ran to the edge of the cliff, hitting the release for the crane as I did so. I leapt from the cliff, grabbing onto the line as it descended at maximum speed.

The magma covered me before I knew it.

A warning popped up on the control screen.

I ignored it.

* * *

><p>"Unit One at five hundred, seven hundred, nine hundred!"<p>

Misato gritted her teeth.

* * *

><p>I was sweating like crazy. The Eva creaked under the pressure. I could feel my surroundings push in on me, as if an invisible force was trying to crush me.<p>

I tried to breathe but it was hard.

The air was way too thick.

_"One thousand, one thousand two-hundred!"_

A hairline crack appeared in the screen and alarms started to blare.

I kept my grip on the line.

I could feel it burn into my skin as the Eva's armor melted.

I screamed.

Everything felt like it was on fire.

* * *

><p>Asuka closed her eyes...<p>

This was really the end...

She felt something grab her arm and her Eva lurched.

_"Gotcha... partner!"_

She looked up, not quite willing to believe it. "Shinji," she said softly, "Again..." She smiled... "You idiot."

It was the first time she didn't use it as an insult.

_"Pull them up now!"_ shouted Misato.

* * *

><p>The hot spring was already reserved just for the three of us as soon as we got there. Asuka and Misato had already ran off to change, leaving me smirking at their mutual excitement in the lobby. The front door slid open to a man holding what looked like a large box, "Delivery for NERV personnel from a Kaji Ryouji."<p>

"Kaji?"

I signed for it and took the box, setting it on the lobby table and cracking it open.

Pen Pen lurched up, looking around like he was confused as all hell.

I laughed, "You wanted to come to the hotsprings too huh? Alright, let's go."

I picked him up as soon as he stopped freaking out, carrying him with me to the male side lockers.

* * *

><p>"Sooooooooo," said Misato, pulling off her socks and tossing Asuka a grin as she sat down on the locker bench, "Shinji seems to be quite... enamoured with you."<p>

Asuka frowned, "Me with that dumbass?"

Misato sighed and shook her head, "Oh stop being such a stubborn goat, he risked his life you know."

Asuka turned away, still frowning, "I know that," she grumbled.

"You could be a little nicer to him."

"I have been!" she shouted.

"Well, you don't argue as much as you used to, but you still blow him off a lot. Playing hard to get is one thing but..."

"I'm not playing hard to get! I don't even like him!"

Misato rolled her eyes, "Right. Of course you don't. I mean, you've been living under the same roof for three weeks, working together for three weeks, putting up with each other for three weeks, oh, and he saved your life."

'Twice,' thought Asuka. "Whatever, let's just get out there, everything hurts and I need to relax."

"Whatever you say."


	11. Episode 11: Power Outage

"Misato."

She wheeled around from her position in the kitchen and smiled at me, "Yes Shinji?" Her smile faded when she laid her eyes on me, "You've got that serious look again..." I nodded, sitting down at the table and gesturing to the opposite side. She took a deep breath and nodded back, taking the position, "I'll be honest," she said, "I've been wanting to talk with you too."

"I need your help."

She frowned, "This isn't the bridge we're crossing is it?"

"It might be. I have to tell you something about the angel attack on the fleet a month ago."

"You mean when we went to pick up Asuka?"

"Yeah. I've been trying to get along with Asuka, and that's distracted me until now, but holding this back might be a bad idea."

"Alright Shinji, what are you planning?"

"That's the thing... I don't have a plan. In fact, as suspicious as I am about everything going on around me I have next to nill for information."

"And that's where I come in."

I nodded, "My access card doesn't take me places."

Misato frowned, "Shinji, I don't know if I can do this."

"What is ADAM?" I asked.

She visibly froze, and I don't know if it was from shock that I even knew the name... or something else. "ADAM is... the first angel," she said softly, "How do you know about that Shinji? That information is top secret."

"I think one of the things I rely on the most is coming back to bite me. When I first got to the city, when the third angel attacked, it felt like something was screaming and scratching at my skull. Then with the fifth, when I went berserk I could hear it talking to me. As for what happened with the sixth... It mentioned ADAM by name. It said it had come for ADAM."

"Wait!" Misato leaned forward, eyes wide, "The angels can talk to you?"

I nodded, "I also saw someone, a rather tall woman that looked like Asuka, only she wore glasses. She was in a hospital gown for some reason. It would also explain my high synch rate with Unit One considering as Evas have personality imprints."

"What would?"

"Ever since I met Haruko I've been able to better understand the people around me."

"You're saying that you can communicate with angels because of your high understanding..."

"I don't know. I don't even know if I'm going insane or not. That's part of the reason I was afraid to tell you about this. You saw me whenever Unit One went berserk, I felt... crazed."

Misato took a deep breath, "I don't even know what to think of all this Shinji, I just... doesn't that seem strange to you?" she asked.

I raised an eyebrow, "Does what seem strange?"

She looked as if she had just realized something, "The angel that attacked the fleet... it said it was looking for ADAM right? I thought it was there to attack the Eva."

It took me a moment, but I put two and two together and came to the same conclusion as her, "ADAM was in the fleet."

She bit her bottom lip, "Shinji..."

"Yeah?"

"If we go ANY further than this there will be no turning back, you do realize this? I've worked in NERV for years and God knows how many secrets they hold. What if what we're talking about here leads us somewhere, and... and it turns out our suspicions are unfounded. Or worse, what if you get hurt?"

I stood up and sighed, "I don't know. I haven't seen my father for years. I don't even really think of him as my father anymore, but there's something going on between him and Rei and I'm worried about her. If we're lucky... maybe these incidents aren't connected to my father."

"And if we're unlucky?"

"Then we try to figure out what he's planning."

"I don't have access to much either you know, I'm only a major, I don't even know all that much about the Evas."

"You have more access than I do, it's a start, just be careful."

"God Shinji what did you pull me into?" She put her head in her hands, letting out a resigned sigh.

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 11: Power Outage**

The afternoon was quiet, and as we walked down the sidewalk towards NERV I took the time to appreciate the sun on my skin. Asuka led the group with Rei trailing behind us, leaving me smack in the middle.

"So, did you ask your dad about career day?" asked Asuka.

"Pffno, I think I'll stick with you since Misato is coming in for yours."

Asuka frowned, "I tried to get Kaji but he said he had something to do."

I laughed, "Other than be a pedophile? What a respectable man. You on the other hand have no shame... at least that I can see."

I could almost hear her face crunch in annoyance and hatred, "You're just jealous, you want me all to yourself. Shinji you selfish man."

"Wh... what? Who would want someone as rash and arrogant as you?"

She turned her head, sticking her tongue out at me, "Mleh!"

"Oh real mature!"

Despite myself I started laughing.

Asuka huffed and faced forward once more.

* * *

><p>The train rumbled along the tracks. Ritsuko sat next to Kozou, who was currently in the middle of a newspaper. Maya sat next to Ritsuko and Aoba stood, hanging onto the handle above his head as the train made its way to the stop by NERV HQ.<p>

"So he's sending you out to peck at government officials?" asked Ritsuko.

Kozou nodded firmly, "Yes, it's a huge waste of time if you ask me, but I'm afraid orders are orders."

"I thought telling the government what to do was the MAGI's job."

"It is."

"What a messed up system," said Maya with a sigh, "Three big supercomputers telling us how to make political decisions."

"Well," said Ritsuko, "They haven't let us down so far, the system works."

Kozou and Ritsuko stood as the train rounded the next corner, arriving at NERV.

* * *

><p>I fell back slightly as we walked and looked down at Rei, still emotionless. "How have things been going lately?"<p>

"Sufficiently."

I sighed and shook my head with a laugh, "Sufficiently what? Sufficiently bad, sufficiently well?"

She looked to the side, "Why do you consider us friends?"

I raised an eyebrow, "That's a... weird question. I guess we don't hang out too much huh?"

"That is not the issue."

"Then what is?"

"I don't really know what a friend is..."

She didn't say it like she was particularly sad or anything, but I still felt a slight pang in my chest when she said it, "Well, a friend is someone who's there for you when you're at your worst. Someone irreplaceable."

"What if one can be replaced?"

"And that's a dumb question, it's kind of hard to replace someone isn't it?" She didn't say anything to that, so I kept rambling like an idiot, "Look Rei... it's like all you know is piloting, you should take a break. What say we go out to eat again after this synch test? We'll figure out what to do with my erm... plan."

"Very well. It would be more comfortable if I refrained from consuming meat."

I laughed a little, "You don't like meat? Why didn't you just say so? Alright, we'll go somewhere with a good selection this time. By the way, I heard Unit Zero got a slick paint job. Blue suits you better, it looks good on you."

For some reason she smiled and looked away slightly, I couldn't tell if she was blushing or what.

"Would you two hurry up!" shouted Asuka.

I shook my head and sighed, "Alright, hold your horses, sheesh."

* * *

><p>"Wait, hold the elevator!"<p>

Misato's eyebrow twitched. She was just on her way to Ritsuko's office too... dammit. She hit the button to close the elevator doors as soon as Kaji started sprinting. Not only had she been annoyed with him, but the less people saw how much she was walking around the better. The cameras were another matter entirely, but she doubted the security personnel would be too babel-prone.

She smirked when the doors were about an inch away from each other...

Then his hand shot through, "Whew, that was a close one," he said, making his way to her side when the doors opened once more.

Misato sighed.

'Sorry Shinji.'

The elevator began to descend.

Kaji turned to her with that ever present smirk of his, "You didn't even have to come in today."

"You're stalking me now?" she spat.

He held up his hands as if to surrender, "Hey, it just got mentioned over lunch. So why're you here?"

"A favor."

"You covering for someone?"

She smiled a bit nervously, "You could say that."

Before Kaji could reply the entire elevator jerked and the lights flickered and died. Misato was taken aback... her luck couldn't get any worse than it was now. Not only was she a horrible employee for NERV, planning on snooping around, but Kaji had interrupted said snooping... and now she was stuck in a dead elevator with him.

Was this some divine punishment?

"Shit." She stepped forward, trying random buttons. The elevator didn't budge.

"Well," said Kaji, "I guess we're stuck in here... together."

Misato rolled her eyes and groaned in exasperation.

* * *

><p>Maya frowned, "All systems down..."<p>

The control room of Central Dogma was dead quiet. The typing, the computers, and the hustle and bustle of daily work had ceased.

Gendo sat at the head desk of the room, Kouzo standing behind him. "Reroute remaining power to essential systems, make the MAGI a priority," said Gendo.

"Let's just hope an angel doesn't attack," said Ritsuko.

"Still," said Maya, "Isn't it kind of weird? We have a back up for our back up, what are the chances of all three power sources going out at once?"

"Unless someone tripped them and is trying to get us all killed," added Ritsuko.

Gendo's hands tightened around each other.

* * *

><p>"Sir! Blue pattern detected right outside of Tokyo 3." The General leaned forward, eying the large map in the front of the room. It displayed a small blip on the outskirts of the city. "It just landed!"<p>

"Send out the report."

"Yes sir!"

* * *

><p>I swiped the card in the turnstile and, with a frown, realized it didn't work. The entrance to the training area had never had an issue before now, so I was pretty frozen on what to do.<p>

"What's the hold up?" asked Asuka.

"My card won't work." I stepped back just as Rei came forward and swiped hers through.

Nothing...

"Oh both of you move!" Asuka was next, pushing Rei forcefully to the side and shoving her card through the reader, but as I expected... nothing. Asuka glared at the offending contraption and gave a few more angry swipes before finally giving up and throwing a hissy fit, "What the hell is wrong with this stupid thing?"

"We can try an alternate entrance," said Rei.

I nodded, "The storage area, or the doors through the offices. Even though it would be longer it would be better than just sitting here."

We made our way around the turnstiles. I kept my eye out for anything that could indicate what was going on. I noticed that the street just outside seemed awfully quiet...

The doors lining the small hallway by the turnstiles were all identical with a little pad that you could enter a code on. It was a process, but we tried every single one, and every single one ended in failure. "The power has to be out," I said, "Nothing's working, that doesn't explain why the streets were so empty though."

"We have to report for the test no matter what!" shouted Asuka.

Rei sat down on a small bench at the end of the hallway, pulling out a small notebook as Asuka started to shuffle through her bag. "What are you guys doing?"

Asuka snarled at me, "The emergency instructions you idiot! Didn't you get a copy?"

"Yeah but... let's just get going. In a case like this we should find the nearest NERV officer, aaaaand we can't do that unless we're inside can we?"

Rei looked up, eying me for a moment before closing her book, "Shinji is correct."

Asuka only glared at me, "You're forgetting we have to appoint a leader. I say it be me!"

I laughed, "Okay Princess, where should we go then?" When she hesitated slightly I rolled my eyes, "Let's find an alternate way to get in."

"There are air vents wide enough for a human body strewn throughout the facility, I have had to use them before."

I let out a low whistle, "Man, you don't let anything get in the way of a mission do you?"

She shook her head.

* * *

><p>Well wasn't he just Mister Perfect? Everything about him infuriated her.<p>

The way he carried himself, that he was so good at piloting with minimal training, that he kept himself level headed in the most dire situation, everything. The thing she hated most was that he saw through her, even if it was only partially. No one had ever identified her like that before, and she hated him even more for it. She hated this feeling she got in her chest whenever she saw him, and she hated that she felt a small and insignificant little hope when he grabbed her wrist after she almost drowned.

She hated that he risked his life to save her in the last mission...

And she hated the way he always took charge.

Everything that he showed her was in complete contrast with what she stood for, and her world was slowly crumbling around her. There was no use trying to fight it, but what other choice did she have?

His shadow...

Eclipsed her.

* * *

><p>"I believe it was this way," said Rei.<p>

After crawling through a cramped up ventilation shaft for what seemed like an eternity we ended up in some tucked away part of the facility. It looked like we were stuck between metal walls, and there were so many pipes that we could even walk on them. The place was eerily dark and gave me a sense of dread.

"No way!" shouted Asuka, "It's gotta be that way!"

We were currently at in impasse.

Our makeshift road had been split into two, and God knows I didn't know which way to take. "Maybe you two should ro sham bo for it."

Asuka wheeled on me and glared, "We're going my way and that's final!"

I shrugged. Neither of them sounded too sure, and I didn't want to get in a screaming match with Asuka at the time, so we continued where she wanted.

That is until we heard the muffled voice of Aoba from what I could only assume was an early warning drone.

_"An angel is headed for Tokyo 3, all personnel report to the Eva cages."_

"Well," I said, "Let's hope you were right Asuka."

* * *

><p>"Sir, are we going to do this manually?" asked Maya.<p>

Gendo stood from his chair and made his way to the right side of the control room, where there was an emergency hatch leading down to the docks. He mounted the ladder, "We can manually insert the plugs yes, and for the rest there is an emergency generator. The Evas will have to detach themselves and cannot be launched with the limited power."

* * *

><p>"Hey, why are we going UP?" I asked. Asuka growled something unintelligible under her breath as a response. "You know," I continued, "I doubt the Evas are near the surface."<p>

Indeed, the metallic hallway we were currently in was at a steep slope up in our current direction, and the fact that Asuka absolutely refused to be wrong was not helping matters, "This is not the correct way Pilot Sohryu." I took a mental note that Rei was still dropping Asuka's surname. Come to think of it, i rarely saw these two together in the first place...

Asuka wheeled on Rei, who was walking slightly in front of me, "And you would know wouldn't you First? Damn brown noser."

I glared, "Asuka, don't talk to Rei like that."

The look Rei gave me when I said that is hard to describe. I'd like to say it was one of surprise, but it had always been hard to tell with her. We all stopped walking, Asuka and I just stared at each other, neither of us wanting to be the one to back down. "Your stubbornness is bringing us towards the surface right now, which is the last place we need to go."

"What are you going to do about it idiot? Just because you wanna defend your girlfriend doesn't mean you should question me, I've been trained all my life!"

"It hardly shows!" I barked, "You can barely work with other people, your attitude makes you look like a bitch, and you disrespect your allies, what do you expect me to act like towards you when you don't show this supposed training?"

Asuka's breath hitched. She turned around and kept on walking, not even saying a word to me. Eventually, "See? Look at that, I told you this was the right way!" she shouted joyfully, pointing at the large metal door at the peak of our climb. The door itself was cracked slightly, revealing light.

"Asuka... the powers out remember? That's probably daylight."

She completely ignored me, stepping forward to open the door, and sure enough Tokyo 3 greeted us in all its glory.

Then the Earth shook and I saw the first long black leg of the spider-like angel. Eight legs, all about twice the length of a football field, bending at the halfway point. Its core stopped right in front of the door Asuka had pried open. It was a very large, round thing that was primarily a dull green, what disturbed me most was the eyes on the core that looked like they were painted on.

Asuka let out a light scream, grabbing the door and pushing it shut.

I sighed, "Let's go back and find the real way."

* * *

><p>The work crews were moving at a tortuously fast pace, yanking on the pullies to bring the plug unit higher and higher into the air. Gendo wiped sweat from his brow, moving forward to help another crew, "Sir!" shouted an officer, "We don't have any pilots!"<p>

"They'll be here," said Gendo, pushing up his glasses and moving towards a rope. Within minutes the plug had been slotted into Unit One.

"That's the last of them!" shouted another worker.

Gendo nodded. If there was one thing he was sure about it was Rei and Shinji's tenacity. He had not expected the boy to be the way he was, but his behavior was still easily pushed towards something more productive, along with Sohryu's hard headed tendencies...

Yes, they would be here for sure.

All they had to do was wait.

* * *

><p>"Shinji, I swear if you're trying to get a peek I will kill you!"<p>

"That's kind of not the crux of the issue here. We're crawling through a vent to get to our Evas so we can save the city, I think that's a little more important than me peeking up your school uniform." Her foot in my face was pretty painful...

I retaliated by smacking her on the ass.

She squealed and the vent shook.

"Wha..." Before she could proceed to scold me gravity decided it was time to screw us over.

We dropped like rocks when the vent fell out from under us. Asuka's scream hardly helped, neither did the fact that she landed right on top of me... with her chest in my face.

Another scream and a slap, "Pervert! Molester! Asshole!"

I didn't even notice we were in Eva 01's cage until my world stopped spinning... apparently we had landed on the catwalk right in front of my Eva. Rei was standing up behind us as we stumbled to get straight, had she landed on her feet?

Huh...

"They're here!" Came a relieved shout; it sounded like Ritsuko.

"Quick, we have to get you in your Evas," she shouted, running up to us.

"But... the powers out," I mumbled.

Ritsuko smirked, "Where do you think we're working at, a Family Mart? We don't shut down just because we have power problems."

I grinned right back, "Alright, let's do this!"

* * *

><p>I took the LCL in and shook my head slightly to clear it.<p>

_"I swear that the next time you do that you will know new realms of pain you little shit!"_

I grinned, "You had it coming Asuka."

Ritsuko interrupted us, _"We can't launch you, so just pry off the shoulder restraints, there's a large ventilation duct that you can move through to get to the angel. At the end there should be a vertical air pipe. Normally our walls would be deployed for defense, since the angel is trying to get through that entrance."_

"Power outages are a scary thing at NERV," I said.

_"Indeed,"_ said Rei.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road." I reached up and grasped the shoulder restraints. The Eva groaned as I pried them off and threw them into the LCL that submerged me up to my chest. I looked up to the ventilation entrance.

Rei and Asuka were at my side now.

"Alright, let's go."

Once we were in there was only one way to go. The vent was large enough for one Eva to crawl on top of another and still fit through, but we stayed in line, Rei in the middle and me up front.

_"Oh man this is sooooo lame..."_

"It's not like we have a choice."

_"This is the most efficient way to reach the angel."_

A few minutes later the passage came to an abrupt halt. We had reached the vertical passage. I peaked over the edge and noticed that it ended in sheer steel, "It's not that long of a drop." When I looked up the angel's strange eyes were looking down on me. It was propped on its legs with the core part hovering just above the vents circular entrance. Its eyes stared at me, sending a shiver down my spine.

**Lilim scum.**

'Fuck you.'

"Alright, let's start climbing."

I pulled out first, propping my hands and legs on the side of the passage.

I started to climb, hand, foot, hand, foot.

I was followed closely by Asuka, and then Rei...

Until I heard something sizzle and felt a burn on my hand, "Argh... what the..."

_"Shinji!"_ shouted Asuka.

I looked up and wished I hadn't. A splotch of acid landed right on my face. I screamed, scrambling to get it off and falling right onto Asuka, barreling her into Rei. It burned my eyes, my nose ran, and my tongue went numb, "FUCK!" Our Eva's crashed into the bottom of the passage, leaving a large indent.

I heard Asuka scream when another round of acid hit her in the chest. I got up and pulled her into my arms, tossing her back into the vent that we came from, Rei followed before I jumped in as well "Asuka, Rei, are you both alright?"

_"Barely."_

_"Yes."_

"We're not gonna get up there with that thing spitting acid at us, and this is the only way we can reach this location from the cages."

_"I have a plan,"_ said Asuka.

I froze in thought. Before now Asuka had always been so hotheaded and brash. I had trusted her in straightforward combat situations, but this was different... I was unsure. She seemed like something had been bugging her even more lately, we hadn't had an argument like the one in the hallway in a couple of weeks. "Alright," I said hesitantly, "Let's hear it."

* * *

><p>Rei moved first, sub-machine gun in hand, she landed at the bottom. Asuka followed, climbing a few meters up the pipe before bracing herself horizontally to block any falling acid. I moved next, bracing myself much like Asuka.<p>

The next thing I heard was the red head's scream of pain.

"Now!" I shouted, reaching down. Rei handed the weapon to me, and as much as I didn't want to hear Asuka in pain I waited for the right moment.

The acid ceased, "Move Asuka!"

She pulled herself to the side, clinging to the wall like Spider Man.

I opened fire and didn't stop until the magazine was empty. Asuka fell right on top of me just as the angel groaned and crashed into the concrete above. "Asuka!"

_"I'm alright, burns like a bitch though."_

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Credit where credit is due, that was pretty awesome Asuka."

I could almost hear her ego inflate, _"I told you I've been trained."_

I rolled my eyes, "Don't get too full of yourself, we're a team, remember?"

_"A team..."_ muttered Rei.

_"As much as I don't wanna be on a team with Wondergirl down there."_

"Asuka c'mon, what has Rei done to you?"

_"She... she... she's so..."_

I sighed, "Just let it go, at least for today."

_"Fine!"_

I smirked, "Well..."

I was interrupted before I could say what I meant to.

* * *

><p>"The angel's AT field!" shouted Aoba. The single laptop in the control room on Aoba's lap, incapable of communication, only of observing the AT fields and Eva status, began to scroll lines of statistics.<p>

Gendo's hands tightened, this wasn't part of the angel's capability...

It went against the scenario.

"Impossible!" Ritsuko's grip on her clipboard fell loose as she felt her mind reeling.

* * *

><p>I heard the acid before she started screaming again. I acted quickly and almost without thought, tossing her back into the first vent before falling right next to Rei. Rei's arm was hit by another round of acid on her right arm...<p>

Then the blue Eva's arm exploded.

I eyed the countdown timer on the screen.

Thirty seconds and counting fast.

I could still hear Asuka screaming.

* * *

><p>"Unit One is going crazy!"<p>

Kozou gritted his teeth, "What the hell is going on up there?"

* * *

><p><strong>Lilim.<strong>

**Do not think that I do not sense you.**

My vision faded.

All I could hear was her scream.

**To understand is to fear.**

**And to fear is to worship.**

**You understand nothing.**

**You grasp nothing.**

It felt like forks were being driven into my eyes... scooping out the insides, pulling out all the little connections.

I let out a scream that wasn't human.

* * *

><p>"Unit One paralyzed, battery power drained, movement ceased, Unit Zero has retreated with Unit Two, both have also ceased functioning!"<p>

Gendo's eyes narrowed.

This was getting out of hand.

* * *

><p>I wanted to scratch at my head until there was nothing left.<p>

I wanted to die.

I wanted to kill.

Anything to stop that horrible pain.

My mouth was open...

I couldn't hear my own screams, only Asuka's.

Things flashed in my brain like a playing video on fast forward.

Haru.

Misato.

Rei.

Asuka.

**I see.**

**You fight for them?**

**Now die for them.**

My world exploded.

* * *

><p>"Sir! I've lost vital signs, Unit One has gone completely dark!"<p>

* * *

><p>"Shinji! get your ass back here!"<p>

My jaw tightened when the back of his hand connected with my face. There wasn't much I could do about it though. "You think you're some bigshot," he mumbled, "Just because your dad made somethin' of himself don't make you anything. Fifteen years old and you can't even do anything on your own!"

I looked at my hands.

Fifteen?

But I was...

"Useless boy!"

The Evas...

"I oughta leave you on the street."

Rei...

"This isn't even you're real home you little shit! You just got thrown on me."

_**"Shinji..."**_ I turned at the sound of a soft voice. She was a tall woman, a little over my height. Her shoulder-length brown hair was a bit tussled, and her lab coat made her look cold and calculating, but... her eyes were warm.

_**"I'm sorry."**_

My eyes widened... those words.

**I'm sorry.**

I had heard them before, not long ago, in this same place.

**_"I'm sorry."_**

Her smile was sad.

_**"Forgive your idiot mother."**_

Warm arms wrap around my shoulders...

My world cracks.

Where am I?

* * *

><p>"... want you to get the JSSDF on the land-line and..."<p>

Gendo Ikari held up his left palm, "Wait," was all he had to say for the panicked work crew to stop what they were doing.

If there was one thing he knew about Unit One... it was a very simple thing.

* * *

><p>I heard Asuka's screams once more and my eyes snapped open.<p>

* * *

><p>"Sir, Unit One is showing vital signs again... oh my God it's... it's moving on its own! Syncro rate rising, seventy, eighty five, one hundred!"<p>

* * *

><p>Eva One let out a primal roar, mouth splitting open to reveal a set of mechanical grinding teeth. It cleared the ventilation shaft in a single bound, colliding with the underside of the angel just as it deployed another glob of acid.<p>

The G's I was forced to endure with the Eva barreling around like it was were substantial, but nothing compared to the initial launch to the surface.

The angel was cast aside like a rag doll, colliding with one of the empty buildings left even after retraction of the city. It turned to me... to Unit One, and let out an ear-splitting screech. It raised one of its legs high in the air and brought it down on the Eva's head. Purple hands reached out, grasping the leg and twisting it until it separated from the main body.

The angel let out another screech, limping forward to try for another counterattack.

I held on as tight as I could when Unit One leapt onto the monster's core and punched through it like it was nothing.

Blue blood covered the viewing screen as the Eva tore at the angel's insides, pulling out globs of flesh, blood and skin. Asuka's screaming had long ceased, but the angel's had just begun.

Eventually, with one last, low pitched groan, the angel fell, blood oozing from everywhere at its center. I saw the red core inside, full of bullet holes from Asuka's plan, and half of it shattered from the onslaught.

The power to the plug died and the Eva went dormant.

* * *

><p>Deep in the bowels of Central Dogma, a pair of elevator doors was pried open, and Ritsuko was greeted by the sight of her best friend sitting on Kaji's shoulders, crotch almost pressed up against his head and attempting to pry open the hatch on the elevator ceiling. Startled at the sudden rescue, they both took quite a fall... onto each other.<p>

"Nasty..." grumbled Maya behind the doctor, sticking out her tongue.

* * *

><p>The flashlight burned my eyes as the doctor looked into my pupils, "Okay... a few more checks and we can send you on your way Ikari-kun."<p>

I nodded a bit hesitantly.

As soon as I stepped out of the plug I had been hauled off by people in straight cut suits to the hospital for a physical/mental evaluation, clearly orders from my father... but why he wanted me to be assessed was escaping me. He had to have had a reason.

Then the doctor started asking strange questions.

What did you see? Nothing.

What did you hear? Nothing.

Do you remember meeting anyone? No.

Has this happened before? No.

Rei was waiting for me in the lobby of the hospital, she walked me home without saying a word. When we got to Misato's front door I turned to her, "Sorry I couldn't make good on dinner, wanna eat here? I don't know where Asuka is and I want to let you know what I'm doing."

Rei was motionless for a long moment, but then she nodded, "Shinji... if I may ask once more, why do you consider us friends?"

"Why do you keep asking that?"

She seemed to hesitate, but I couldn't tell with her lack of expression, "I must keep things from you. Would you consider me a friend if I would not tell you something of extreme importance?"

"Well..." I tried not to let what she said weigh down on my chest, "I said that friends are there for you at your worst, remember?"

She looked down at her feet, "I see."


	12. Episode 12: Scars

**-15 Years Ago-**

Misato's senses were fading in and out. She thought she heard screaming, yelling, panic. Her head was fuzzy and she wasn't sure where she was. She felt something wet and warm on her chest and coughed, feeling something trail up into her mouth... it tasted like copper. She had sworn it had been daylight but a moment ago, but the sky was now dark, covered in clouds that had come from nowhere. The wind was piercing, and she thought she heard someone shouting for help.

She looked up from where she lay... "D... Dad?"

Her father was covered in his own blood, half of his left arm was gone as he limped towards the plug unit that he had thrown her in when it happened.

When it happened?

Wait, what happened?

The lab... wasn't she inside, why could she see the sky?

Why was everything crumbling?

She thought her father would get in the pod with her, but when she saw how wounded he was she began to have serious doubts, "Dad what are you doing?"

He didn't answer. Instead he used his remaining arm to remove the small cross from around his neck, placing it on hers... and then he slapped the button to close the plug.

"DAD!"

Her father coughed up blood. He felt weak, like he was fading. He moved to the opposite end of the plug unit and began to push with all his remaining strength. Just as he crossed the threshold of the remains of the lab, the ice cracked easily under the plug's weight. Almost nothing was left of ice mass they had been on.

He collapsed and let the darkness take him.

Misato was now at sea.

It took her quite a while to figure out how to open the plug.

She stood up and gazed out at what she had just left behind.

What her father, of all people, had saved her from.

Her emotions were mixed, why would he do this?

Then she saw the AT field, unlike anything her father had shown her before, spreading out as the clouds swirled around it.

It looked like insect wings.

She brought a hand to the cross that was now hers...

And began to sob.

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 12: Scars**

Misato let out a sigh as she adjusted her hair in front of the tall mirror in her room. A few clothes lay strewn out on the floor here and there, but she was nowhere near as messy as Asuka was. She brought the bra up and wrapped it around her chest, clipping it at the center and taking a moment to look at the scar below her breasts.

It was a jagged thing, and you could tell just by looking at it that it was a horrid wound...

But it didn't kill her, and that's what mattered most.

Her fists tightened, nails digging into her palms.

* * *

><p>Sunday Sunday Sunday. I grinned to myself. It sucked that we had to go in for a synch test in the morning, but it would only take about an hour, and then we had the rest of the day to ourselves. Kensuke and Touji had dropped by, apparently to pay Misato a visit and not because they wanted to hang out with me. Maybe Kensuke was still pissed I was rattling him for protection money.<p>

Somewhere in the middle of all the chatter the bathroom door slid open just barely and Asuka poked her head out, "Hey, can't you idiots stay quiet? If I catch any of you peeking I'll kill you!"

Touji growled, "Who would want to catch a peek of someone like you anyways?"

I coughed awkwardly and looked away.

Asuka slammed the door shut, screaming something about retards.

Misato's door opened and she walked out in minimal uniform as usual, her red jacket looked... new today. "Morning Misato, you want some breakfast?"

She shook her head and smiled softly, "No, but thanks Shinji. I gotta get going."

Kensuke made a sound from his throat that was somehow a cross of a frog croaking and a giraffe dying. His finger rose and he pointed to the pin on Misato's collar, "Misato-san, you got promoted to Lieutenant Colonel?"

She looked sheepish for a second, "Yeah, apparently I've been working hard enough, and that whole thing about getting demoted to Captain was a bit overblown after all."

I nodded, "Congrats."

"I'll see you guys later," she said, walking out and down the hall before exiting the apartment.

Kensuke wheeled on me, "You didn't notice she got promoted Shinji? We need to hold a party or something!"

I shrugged, "I don't know about Military rank that much."

"But you work at NERV."

"C'mon, it's not like I got drafted or something, well... I guess I did, but still there really hasn't been any need for me to keep up with military structure at all. Everyone kinda just bosses me around anyway."

"But what if you get a conflicting order from two superiors of the same rank? Time in service counts for outranking someone too, and you always follow the higher ranking!" Kensuke sighed and shook his head as if he were disappointed in me.

I laughed, "Kensuke, dude, it's okay. I just pilot the Eva and kill angels, not complicated enough to herald conflicting orders."

* * *

><p>I took a deep breath.<p>

The plug was eerily uncomfortable for some reason. I thought... I thought about my battle with the last angel and what it meant. I had seen my mother, but that can't have been.

_"Synch rate steady, everything looks nominal."_

_"Alright, give them a few more minutes,"_ said Ritsuko.

Further, if it was my mother and I wasn't losing my mind, why was she apologizing to me? Had she wronged me in some way? I told myself that the angel was in my head, that I wasn't thinking straight and I was probably seeing things, but I couldn't shake this thought no matter how hard I tried.

The angels.

For some reason they could communicate with me, not that they had anything extremely productive to say. Misato seemed to believe me well enough as I hadn't been reported to NERV yet, so it wasn't a stupid move on my part to talk to her. The first one that actually reached out to my mind was the sixth angel, in the battle where I had first met Asuka Langley Sohryu, the angel that spoke to me before that was a fluke, I wasn't all there at the time. I wasn't too sure, but I assumed the sixth was trying to take me with it in its last fleeting moments.

If that was the case then why hadn't Asuka been affected as well?

Did Haru's gift really spread that far?

To where I not only was capable of understanding people, but something alien as well?

I shuffled words through my mind.

ADAM.

Angel.

Lilim.

They all had connections of course.

All of them biblical figures.

Why had the angels called me a Lilim?

_"Alright, pack it up. Great job Shinji, your score is as solid as ever."_

_"Well isn't that just dandy,"_ grumbled Asuka, _"Let's get him some God damn ice cream and a golden star!"_

I sighed and shook my head.

* * *

><p>The apartment ended up being crowded that day.<p>

"Oh man that totally hits the spot!" shouted Misato after taking another swig of her beer.

Kensuke and Touji had invited Hikari, who had now taken her place next to Asuka at the table. I sat next to Misato on the opposite side.

"Thanks everyone," said Misato, "A loose party like this is much better than wearing a stuffy uniform and going through a ceremony."

I shrugged, "It wasn't that bad was it?"

Misato glared at me, "Just because you like seeing me all dressed up doesn't mean you get to defuse me when I try to complain about work."

I could feel my face turn red, "I didn't... I mean..."

"Oh don't lie Shinji, you love a woman in uniform," she said with a giggle.

"Jeez," I grumbled, turning away and frowning.

"Hahahaha, look at him blush Asuka!"

Asuka, however, was occupied with not shutting up about Kaji.

For some reason...

I got this odd tick whenever she talked about Kaji lately, the tick being me becoming a range of slightly annoyed to absolutely infuriated depending on the situation. It wasn't Kaji himself that annoyed me; he was a pretty stand-up guy so far as I could see, however...

"I tried calling him to invite him but he wouldn't pick up. I left a message just in case. He hasn't been picking his phone up lately for some reason."

Hikari frowned, "Well, maybe he's just busy."

"Nah, he seems like the kinda guy who just lounges around when he gets home from work."

Misato snorted, "You don't know the half of it Asuka."

"Still," continued the red head, "After dealing with these losers all day it's nice to see a real man."

I rolled my eyes, "Says the person I outscored in a synch test."

Before Asuka could retaliate Touji cleared his throat, "I can vouch for Shinji's manliness. He looks puny but he can punch REALLY hard."

I grinned when Asuka's expression went from haughty to looking like she wanted to tear her hair out in fury. "You're all a bunch of idiots anyways, whenever you get together it's like watching The Three Stooges!"

"Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!" I exclaimed.

Asuka screamed in frustration, and Hikari just sighed and shook her head.

That was when the doorbell rang, "Excuse me," I said, standing and making my way to the door. When I slid it open Ritsuko and Kaji greeted me, "Hi, welcome," I said, ushering them in.

Asuka and Misato both wheeled on Kaji, giving him possibly the scariest death glares I had ever seen from the two women in the time that I had known them. Asuka's glare was predictable, I was more interested in Misato's.

"What?" asked Kaji, "I got off work late and I ran into Doctor Akagi on the way here."

"Sure," spat Misato, chugging the rest of her beer in anger.

'I guess they had a thing after all.'

"Speaking of work," continued Kaji, "The Commander and Kozou are off visiting the ruins in Antarctica, so now that you're the better end of an oak leaf you'll be taking command in their absence Misato. Commander Ikari must really trust you to just leave NERV in your hands like that."

"My fathers in Antarctica?"

Misato set the empty beer can down and just sort of... stared at it.

Antarctica was the place where the Second Impact had occured, and she had mentioned before that her father was killed, and that was the reason she had joined NERV. I decided to pull out of that subject, this was Misato's party after all. She needed to be having a good time, not remembering what she couldn't fix.

"Anyways," I said, clearing my throat, "I'm glad you two could make it."

Ritsuko gave me a respectable nod and sat down next to Misato.

Kaji on the other hand... plopped right down next to me. With the look that Asuka was giving me at that moment I thought she was going to tear out my rib cage with her bare hands. Kaji leaned in towards me, "Hey, how're things going?" he whispered.

"Shitty," I whispered back.

"She still hate you?"

"Oh yeah."

"Need any help?"

"I doubt you could help me with the way she sees you."

Kaji frowned, "Damn, I guess you're right about that, I could do it from the shadows."

"I have a plan already."

He grinned in response to that, leaning back to sit up straight and clapping his hands together, "Alright, let's get wasted... unless you're underage..."

* * *

><p>The fleet accommodated them without question just as SEELE had promised. Going to Antarctica to find the object was of no issue, in fact, it had already been prepared by the time he had arrived with Kozou. Every member of the JSSDF involved in this operation had signed a gag order, and those involved were ones who had clearance for vital information only.<p>

That wasn't the only precaution taken either.

No one knew exactly what it was they were delivering.

This was good.

Everything was going according to the scenario.

Gendo stood on the nose of the carrier alone with Kozou, arms behind his back and staring out at the blood red sea before them, "To think that the greatest invention of man, science, caused this," muttered Gendo. He said that not out of disgust; it was more of a curiosity. "We thrive on science Fuyutsuki... it makes us the strongest life form on this planet."

"It's thinking like that that caused the Second Impact." Kozou chose his words carefully. You could never choose your words too carefully around the Commander. "This blood red sea is the very proof of that."

Gendo smirked, "Indeed it is. As are the effects of the Second Impact themselves. The very Earth's axis was thrown off, countries drowned, cities rebelled; it was a case by case apocalypse scenario. Why do you think we survived Fuyutsuki?"

Kozou was quiet, taking his time to think before he spoke, "Because of science."

"Yes... What do you think of the boy?"

"Your son Shinji? He's an exceptional pilot, why do you ask?"

Gendo's eyes narrowed, "Something is wrong. He speaks with Rei often and she seems... troubled whenever we take a step."

"Perhaps they are friends and she doesn't want to hurt him."

Gendo nodded, "That could be it. She has not told him anything that will affect what is to come, but something tells me there's more."

* * *

><p>This was a crappy day, Misato decided.<p>

She had finally managed to wrap up all that paperwork from the power outage and the last fight, and now she walked into the control room only to be welcomed by a little surprise.

"Blue pattern detected," said Maya, "Angel in orbit directly above Tokyo 3."

"Crap," she muttered.

* * *

><p>"The angel was spotted by a local satellite system at around noon. It used its AT field to destroy the satellites themselves, but we still managed to get a good look at it."<p>

The briefing room was quiet as usual save for Misato. She pulled out a small remote and the screen on the floor opened up, displaying an image of the angel. Its structure was strange, even compared to the angels we had fought before. It was very... colorful. Most of it was orange, and the main body itself was circular, two slim arms stretching out from it, but no legs. In the main body's center was the eye; it had a red iris which I assumed was the core of this one. Misato hit the remote again and the picture changed once more, showing craters in closer and closer proximity to the center of Tokyo 3.

"It is attempting to fire on us?" asked Rei.

"We're not sure," said Misato, "Each time it fires it gets a little bit closer to us, but its nothing that could do any irreversible damage, however... it's inching out of orbit."

"And that means?" I asked.

"It's either landing or planning on crashing into the city, and I doubt it's the former."

"So what's the plan?"

She gave me an apprehensive look when I asked that, "You're going to catch it."

"What?" shouted Asuka.

"It's an extremely risky operation. We believe the craters are a way to preempt where it lands, and judging by the pattern so far it will land very close to the surface above NERV, just as predicted. We've set up a perimeter for your Evangelions, you will take a triangular position around the landing point and when the time comes you will extend your AT fields and stop it from touching the ground at all costs."

"And this is based on what exactly?" asked Asuka.

"A guess," she said honestly, "Call it a woman's intuition."

"MY woman's intuition says this sucks!"

"I'll be honest, it's not the most solid plan I've thought up, but it's all we can do. Have you... written wills yet?"

I laughed and shook my head, "Misato... I'm fourteen." She smiled at that, "Besides, this is your plan, and I trust you."

"I'm not planning on dying any time soon," said Asuka, crossing her arms.

"I still have a purpose here," said Rei.

Misato's smile widened, "Okay. Tell you what, after this operation let's go out and have a steak dinner somewhere."

"Rei too?" I asked, "That might be a problem, she doesn't like meat."

Rei looked down at her feet, blushing for some reason.

"Alright then, we'll just go some place nice," said Misato.

**-One Day Ago-**

Misato and I had stopped at the park. Her car was currently in the workshop and we ended up having to walk home from NERV.

Misato gazed out at the city below us, a contemplative look on her face, "You remember when I told you I was kind of estranged from my father?" She leaned on the railing, fiddling with the mounted binoculars at her side, "Well... he was always doing work and he never had the time for his family at all."

'That sounds familiar.'

I moved forward to Misato's side, leaning on the railing.

She sighed and smiled, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, "When my mom divorced him I was actually glad. He started getting desperate, hanging out with me and stuff, buying me presents. I just thought it was funny so I laughed at him. 'Too little too late', that kind of thing. Then... when the Second Impact happened he sacrificed himself to save me. Even now I'm not sure whether I should love him or hate him, maybe it's both. What I do know is that I latched onto that; I want all the angels destroyed."

"He's your father," I said softly, "No matter how much you want to... you can never completely hate your father."

"Shinji?"

I smiled sadly, "I would know wouldn't I?"

Her arm tightened a little, "I'm sorry, here I am complaining when you're even worse off."

"Don't apologize. You're no worse off than me," I said with a little laugh.

* * *

><p>"What's the chance of success?" asked Ritsuko, looking at herself in the mirror of the bathroom.<p>

Misato rinsed her hands, "Point zero zero zero zero one."

Ritsuko glared at her friend, "Surely not enough to go through with an operation, you're taking unnecessary risks in the name of petty revenge. Isn't it your job to look after Shinji?"

Misato turned on Ritsuko and glared, "Now if I recall correctly the chances of success when Shinji first piloted the Eva were even slimmer. Not only that but this is Shinji we're talking about. He hasn't let us down yet. As far as I'm concerned, with Shinji, Asuka, and Rei out there the odds might as well be a hundred."

"You put too much faith in him."

"Maybe I need something to put faith in! Maybe I need someone like Shinji to take care of, because from what I'm seeing around me it's VERY hard to trust old friends the way I used to!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Why don't you answer that question yourself?" snapped Misato, turning on a heel and storming out of the bathroom.

* * *

><p>I took a deep breath, hands tightening around the controls of my Eva.<p>

'Concentrate.'

Total manipulation of my AT field was required for this, something I had yet to do. I had to shape it and expand it.

'I can do this.'

_"Target at twenty thousand feet and closing in fast!"_

Another deep breath.

_"Shinji, you better get this right!"_ shouted Asuka.

I nodded, "Yeah."

As Misato had said we each had our own positions. I was at the tip of the triangle and a little closer to the center near the mountain top. I would be the first to move in, expanding my AT field to weaken the angel's, then Asuka and Rei would be hot on my heels. It was an extremely far-fetched plan, even more-so than what I pulled with the sixth angel, but I trusted Misato so it was a non-issue.

_"Now!"_

I kicked off, running at top speed towards the mountain that the angel would land on top of.

'Alright.'

_"Ten thousand feet, Unit One's AT field is still expanding!"_

I gritted my teeth as I neared the top and planted my feet, looking straight up and spreading my arms, prepping myself to catch the angel, "In position, neutralizing AT field!" I felt something pull on me, like I had a second skin that was expanding itself to match the situation. The Eva's maw split and a roar pierced the skies.

The angel hit me like a mac truck.

I could visibly see the AT field protecting the eye as my own struggled against it, rippling like a white energy barrier, "HAAAAAAH!"

_"Eva One and Eva Two are moving!"_

_"Pilot Sohryu, expand your AT field."_

_"I'm doin' it already, jeez!"_

Rei and Asuka were at my side in a flash. Rei took her place right by me, pushing the angel up as it struggled to breach past our defense, "Now Asuka!" I shouted.

I could almost hear her grin, _"Those were the words I wanted to hear."_

Asuka jumped, thrusting her hands through the small opening in the angel's AT field that Rei and I had created... the progressive knife followed naturally, digging into the eye of the angel.

The angel screamed...

And everything went white.

* * *

><p>"A... ramen stand?"<p>

I smiled, "Asuka and I had a little talk, and we agreed that you're way too short on money to be taking all four of us to some fancy restaurant. I noticed you've been in a lot of debt lately, and you've been using most of your paychecks to get out of it, despite being paid a lot now."

Misato looked confused for a second, staring at the ramen stand's sign like it was some alien object, then she smiled, "That's... the only reason?"

I nodded, "Yep, that and it's easier to get something without meat at small places like this."

We all sat down and took our orders with little hesitation.

Something like this was nice, simple.

"You know," I said suddenly, setting my chopsticks on my bowl as I talked, "At first I was hesitant to be an Eva pilot. It was something my father thrust me into because he suddenly had a use for me. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately."

Asuka snorted, "You_ think_?"

I rolled my eyes, "Anyways... even if I am suspicious of my father for whatever reason I'm still glad that I came here. Piloting Eva One is something I do to protect people, to protect you guys."

Asuka looked at me like I had grown an extra head, Misato smiled, and Rei blushed.

"Yes, that includes the immature one," I said with a grin, glancing at Asuka.

"I'll show you immature you little..."

"Alright alright," said Misato.

I took a deep breath, "Seriously though... if it wasn't for all of you, I doubt I'd be able to do half of the stuff I do now."

Asuka groaned, "Ugh, whatever. What the hell kind of a team is this anyways? We got Wondergirl and an amateur pilot..."

"Don't forget the five-year old german red head."

Asuka glared at me.

I just laughed.


	13. Episode 13: Invasion

**A/N: I had a lot of fun with this chapter. The kiss onwards, and when Kaji shows Misato what he thinks is ADAM, is around when I'll start taking some real liberties with the story.**

**Review please... please? Guys?**

**EDIT: Crunched Shinji's line to Asuka about pushing people away. Nitro pointed it out and it didn't fit so it got tanged. Thanks Nitro.**

Misato sighed and tapped her fingers on the railing as the lift took her up to the server room. This was her first time in this particular room in over four months. The lift stopped abruptly and she was greeted by the sight of Ritsuko and Maya working at the terminals, various papers and office knick knacks spread about messily. "You're already almost done with the MAGI test run, huh?"

Ritsuko nodded, "Yep."

"Wow, leave it up to you to do something like that in a little over an hour, I'm impressed." Misato walked to Risuko's computer, picking up her friend's coffee mug and bringing it to her lips.

"That coffees cold," said Ritsuko.

It was already too late... "Ugh." Misato almost threw up setting the mug down, "You could have warned me earlier."

The computer in front of Maya set off a small alarm, "Ma'am, testing for Balthazar is complete and the MAGI are online operating at a hundred percent."

Ritsuko nodded, leaning forward and hitting the intercom button, "Alright, very good everyone, go ahead and take lunch. Once the children get here we'll be able to initiate the testing."

Several relieved workers near the MAGI's servers below the room wiped their brows, already chatting with each other as they headed back up for their well-earned breaks.

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 13: Invasion**

"Alright, grab me that seasoning."

"Yes."

"Oh and get the drinks while you're at it, we're almost done and I want to make sure everything's set up, I don't know when she'll be back."

The kitchen was small in Misato's apartment, so the heat from our constant cooking enveloped us pretty quickly. The window in the living room was wide open, helping to air it out a little bit, "Will Katsuragi-san be joining us for lunch today?"

"Nah, she doesn't even get Sundays off, this is just for the three of us. We've got that weird test right after we're done here too."

"I do not see how this is a stupid plan."

I grinned and stirred the pot below me some more, "They say the best way to someone's heart is through their stomach, but Asuka... is weird."

"How so?"

"I don't know, I can even read you better than her, it creeps me out a little bit honestly."

"How do you read someone?"

I turned the temperature down on the stove when Rei set the spices next to me and started digging in the fridge. "Well," I said, "Facial expressions, body language, the way a person acts around different people. I even have a little notebook with primary things I see in people's personalities. You read a lot of books right?"

"Yes."

"Every person has their own book, but there's always a special way to open it. Some are more locked than others."

"I see."

"Like you, you've got a pretty solid lock, but once that lock comes off you're painfully easy to identify with, it's really cute actually."

She blushed, keeping her face a bit downcast as she pulled various beverages from the fridge and set them on the counter. "I've never really seen the meaning behind the word before."

"What, cute?" I laughed, "You're a girl aren't you? Unless I'm missing something."

"I believe so."

"Oh man, haha, it's pretty bad if even you're not sure. Next time you should try to see me."

"See you? I can see you quite clearly where I am now."

"Not like that, I mean 'see' me. Like I told you, read me."

"I am not sure if I would be able to."

"Anyone can do it, you just have to be willing to identify with them. Some people are better at it than others, but it's something we all have."

* * *

><p>"What the hell is all this?"<p>

Asuka was surprised at our little feast when she walked in the door. Three plates were set up at the table with all our favorite dishes. Mine was a nice heap of homemade curry, Rei's was a bit hard to dig out of her but I set her up with some gourmet noodles and stir fry, and Asuka's...

"Where the hell did you even get bratwurst!"

I cleared my throat, "Kensuke can be reliable when under... certain intimidation."

Asuka frowned, but complied when I gestured her to sit down, "What's all this for anyways?"

"A simple thanks would suffice." She glared at me. "I set this up because honestly... you seem to be crankier than usual lately and I wanted to cheer you up."

Asuka was silent for what seemed like forever.

We sort of... just started eating.

"Why is Wondergirl here?"

Rei tilted her head, "I am Shinji's... friend, and you are his friend, by extension are we not friends as well?"

Asuka opened her mouth to speak, but I glared at her, "Asuka, we're here to enjoy ourselves, so just relax."

"Quit talking to me like a kid!"

"I will when you stop acting like one. You need to stop treating Rei like she's some obstacle to you."

She frowned, "Whatever... thanks... I guess..."

It was the first time she had ever truly thanked me, and it looked like she struggled with the words exponentially, almost like she had to fight something to get them out.

Still, it felt nice.

**-One Year Ago-**

"Shin-chan! Check this out!"

I looked up from the book I was reading and was greeted by the sight of Haru holding a small Christmas Tree out to me.

The months were slightly chilly, but due to the Second Impact the snow had yet to start up again, but here she was, holding a little piece of Christmas out to me while I lounged on the park bench.

It was the last year before I moved to Tokyo 3, and I didn't know that I would have to say goodbye soon.

She set the tree down on the bench by me and sat next to it on the opposite side, "Christmas is a time for love isn't it? There was a boy that I liked, but he turned me down," she said with a frown.

"Why's that?"

"He was already with some other girl. Hey Shin-chan, I saw police outside your house the other day, what was that about?"

"Oh, that?" I looked to the side absently, trying to remember what they were there for, "Something with my uncle," I answered hesitantly. "He was caught for something, but I don't really care."

"You're uncle isn't a very nice person is he?"

"No..."

Haru sighed and leaned back, "I'm sorry. I don't have a dad, but I at least have my mom, you don't even have that, do you?"

"No... just you. You've been like a sister to me."

She smiled. "Then I'll be there no matter what!"

* * *

><p><strong>One more day.<strong>

_"Alright,"_ said Ritsuko's voice over the intercom, _"The process should be finished now."_

"Yep!" snapped Asuka, "Here I am, just like you want me, butt naked and sent through the wash cycle seventeen times!"

I grinned.

As Asuka said, we were stark naked, but she was wrong about one thing... we had been decontaminated eighteen times, not seventeen. I remember because I swore I could hear Misato laughing on number fifteen, when Asuka tripped over her own feet and fell face flat in the chamber.

Asuka, Rei, and I were currently in what I could only identify as the plastic test chamber equivalent to a starting stable in a horse race, with a long metallic hallway stretching in front of us that led to the test bodies we would be puppeteering for what I could only call the strangest test ever.

Even for Ritsuko, this was a bit... out there.

I didn't even know what she was doing or what results she was gathering.

_"Right,"_ she continued,_ "And I'm gonna need you to stay that way when you're walking to the test bodies. Don't worry, I'll deactivate the camera in the hallway."_

Asuka's face might as well have been on fire.

My grin widened.

"That's not the issue here! You do know there's a lech in here with me, right?" she screamed desperately, "Ritsuko!"

"I won't peek, scout's honor."

"Good, because if you do you won't be alive for very long!"

"Why would you wish to harm Shinji?"

"Girls have this thing called dignity Wondergirl! Aren't you the least bit embarrassed about this whole thing?"

I shrugged, "Rei doesn't care about stuff like that, I can vouch for that personally."

"You wha..."

It took me a second to realize what I just said, "Alright let's go, testing time now, testing testing testing!" I ran into the hallway before Asuka caught on.

"Hey, wait you idiot!"

* * *

><p>The observation chamber was empty save for Maya, Ritsuko, and Misato. Maya sat at the terminal, Ritsuko over her shoulder with a clipboard, while Misato watched through the window. This was optimal, tests were not good with big crowds; it was always better to have a quiet atmosphere for the pilots.<p>

Ritsuko nodded in approval, "Plugs have been accepted... alright, how's everyone doing?"

_"I feel strange,"_ said Shinji, _"Not like Eva One at all. It feels like I don't belong here."_

Ritsuko nodded, jotting some notes down. It was a natural reaction since he had only piloted Eva One up until this moment, where they just pushed him into some foreign test body, but his synch rate was a little above fifty and holding solid so she wasn't too concerned. Visually there were no issues, the protein water holding the test bodies just outside the observation window was clear, and there were no abnormal patterns being shown by the program.

The bodies themselves looked like headless humans with no skin, just muscle sinew.

Even to Ritsuko, with her years of experience in Project E, it was still dreadfully eerie.

_"I can feel my right arm fine, but for some reason... the rest of my body feels kind of fuzzy,"_ said Asuka.

A beep sounded and the display screen above the observation window flashed, showing the MAGI, Casper, Balthazar, and Melchior.

**[Dilemma]**

**[Attempting to compensate]**

"Jeez," grumbled Misato, "It's like they're arguing."

"That's part of its personality," said Ritsuko.

Misato's expression faded and she frowned, "How come you never tell me anything Ritzy?" she mumbled.

Ritsuko looked back at the screen in front of Maya, not responding to her friend's question.

* * *

><p>Aoba frowned, "That's... odd."<p>

"What is?" asked Kozou, making his way across the control room and peeking over Aoba's shoulder.

"The 87th protein wall is showing slight corrosion. It could be a leak overlooked in construction."

Kozou raised an eyebrow, "87th, isn't that the Pribnow box? Get a team on it and let Doctor Akagi know."

"Yes sir."

* * *

><p>"Huh..."<p>

"What is it Ritzy?"

Ritsuko hung up the phone by Maya and leaned against the desk, pocketing her hands, "There's some corrosion in the protein wall."

"Will it interfere with the test?" asked Maya.

"It's a small area so I doubt it, continue on. Rei, try moving your right hand for me please."

* * *

><p><em>"Yes Ma'am."<em>

I let out a sigh, we had been in the test bodies for a solid ten minutes already. It would help my patience a little if I actually was aware of what we were accomplishing here.

It wasn't just that though...

For some reason I felt uncomfortable in the plug. It was subtle at first, but as the seconds dragged on I started to feel a little bit weary, even paranoid. I wanted to get out of the thing as fast as I could and I didn't know why. Tests like these gave me way too much time to think, way too much time to be even more paranoid than I already was.

_"That's odd."_

_"What now Ritzy?"_

Suddenly, Rei screamed and my vision narrowed.

My brain felt like it was trying to escape from my skull.

Pounding at the inside like it was trapped.

_"The corrosion is spreading! Its made its nway into Body A!"_

_"Ma'am, I've identified a blue pattern!"_

_"An angel! Get the Commander on the phone, eject those entry plugs now!"_

_"Yes Ma'am!"_

The plug lurched, and for a moment I felt like I was flying.

Before I hit the ground I heard something that froze my blood.

**You can hear me, can't you Lilim?**

The plug hit a surface and my vision blacked out.

* * *

><p>The klaxon alarms sounded throughout the base, "Sir, an angel has invaded through the protein wall. The corrosion is spreading fast and it's already taken over a test body!"<p>

"Shut down the alarms," said Gendo, leaning forward.

"Sir?"

"Do it, forward a report to SEELE that we have everything under control, there is no angel on this base."

"... Yes sir."

* * *

><p>The corrosion had visibly spread to the test body that Rei had been in. It was a shining orange color. The test body tried to struggle from its restraints momentarily, and when that didn't happen a small alarm sounded from the computer.<p>

"Dr. Akagi... it's hacking into our systems!"

Ritsuko gritted her teeth, "That's impossible, the MAGI are set to change their passwords and parameters every second, it would have to constantly keep up with them!"

"Melchior is being corrupted!"

"Shit. Shut down all outside functions that the MAGI control, contain it to NERV!"

"Yes Ma'am!"

"Reroute all major systems, change anything you have to! We can't let it get a hold of us!"

Maya was doing her best to keep up, fingers typing away furiously. Misato couldn't wrap her mind around what was going on, but what she did know was if the angel corrupted the MAGI... it was all over.

"Ma'am! Melchior's been completely taken over, it's too fast!"

A mechanical voice blared over the loud speakers.

_"Melchior initiating self destruct sequence. Overridden by Casper and Balthazar."_

Ritsuko's eyes widened, if this thing got a hold of Casper...

"Move!" shouted Ritsuko, forcefully sliding the bridge bunny's chair to the side and taking over at the computer.

"What are you doing?" asked Misato.

Ritsuko cursed under her breath when Balthazar was completely corrupted, "Cutting the connection between Casper and the other servers"

With a final keystroke the alarm was silenced. Casper was already halfway corrupted. Ritsuko let out a sigh of relief, "I just bought us a few hours. It can still find backdoors through the systems, but the main route to Casper has been cut."

"We need to figure out a way to get rid of this thing," mumbled Maya.

"I think I have an idea," said Ritsuko, standing up straight and taking a deep breath, "If we modify Casper's server in a certain way it could lead to the destruction of the angel."

"How do we do that?" asked Maya.

"Think of it as an anti-virus."

"Will that work?"

"It's the only option we have. Destroying the test body isn't guaranteed to have results, alongside that it could also inadvertently damage the MAGI, we can't afford that."

* * *

><p><em>"Son... do you know what your uncle did?"<em>

_I shook my head firmly. The room was too comfortable, too welcoming. It felt foreign to me, and the police station itself smelled of coffee and something stale. I sat on a small couch, while an officer with a worried look on his face stood above me. He let out a sigh, "So you didn't see anything?"_

_"No... I can't remember," I said._

_"You didn't see or you can't remember?"_

_"I can't remember."_

_"You saw your friend at the park that day, right?"_

_I nodded, "Yeah, she got me a Christmas tree. We talked for a while until I had to come here."_

_The officer nodded, "Alright. We'll just ask you a few more questions and then you're free to go."_

_"No problem."_

My eyes slowly opened.

I was still submerged in warm LCL...

Still in the plug.

I rubbed my head and let out a groan... and then realized that yes... I was still bare ass naked.

_"Finally the sleeping beauty awakes!"_

"Nice to know the first thing I wake up to after getting randomly ejected is your annoying voice, hows Rei holding up?"

_"She's out like a light, I think whatever the angel did screwed her up pretty bad. I tried getting a hold of someone back at NERV but no dice."_

"Maybe there's something wrong with the communications."

_"Thanks for stating the obvious!"_

"How about you? You alright?"

She was silent for a moment.

_"Let's get something straight here. I don't need you to care about me and I never did. I've gotten by just fine until now without some asshole doting on me! I'll work with you in combat, but we're not friends! I know that's what you've been thinking lately, you've even got Wondergirl in on it and she's a God damn doll!"_

I let out a bitter laugh, "So that's it huh? I care about you and you snap at me? No wonder no one at school likes you."

_"Excuse me!"_ she snapped, _"Hikari and I hang out all the time, and Kaji..."_

"He doesn't WANT you idiot!"

Another moment of silence passed.

"Can't you just listen to me for once? Is it really so hard?"

_"You just think you're so much better than everyone else around you."_

"Shut up..."

_"After all, your synch scores are sooooooo much better than mine."_

"Shut... up..."

_"You've never lost to an angel and you haven't had any training at all minus a few shoddy months. Where do you come off telling me how I feel when you have everything handed to you on a silver fuckin' platter?"_

"SHUT THE FUCK UP LANGLEY!"

I took advantage of her hesitation after that.

"Do you know what happened to me Asuka, do you? I saw my mom DIE right in front of my eyes when I was four! My father abandoned me at a train headed for my uncle's place less than a week later! Now I don't know what happened in your past; it could be the worst thing I've ever heard, but don't fuckin' tell me that I've had everything handed to me! I can hardly remember my mom's face, I can't even remember HOW she died, all I remember clearly is the day she disappeared from my life and the day Gendo Ikari left me to rot!

"And the worst part is... no matter how hard I try I can't fuckin' hate him enough. There's still part of me... part of me that..." I choked a a little, holding back the tears.

Asuka had gone completely silent.

There was nothing left to say.

* * *

><p>Asuka leaned back in her plug, cutting her comm with Shinji.<p>

'What the hell is happening to me?'

She feared Shinji. She feared his openness, and the way he was so straightforward.

He was screwing everything up...

And she was letting him do it.

'Pull yourself together... there's no time for this crap. You're an Eva pilot dammit!'

* * *

><p>The server for Casper was raised out of the ground slowly. Misato had never even been down to the actual server area before. It was what appeared to be a cluster of complicated pipes and wiring, and she had no idea what she was looking at. "You said something about the MAGI having a personality imprint like the Evas?"<p>

Ritsuko nodded when the server finally halted. She knelt down to a small opening and poked her head in, "The MAGI are based on three different aspects of my mother. One is her as a scientist, one as a woman, and one as a mother."

"So that's why they argue so much," mumbled Misato, following her friend in the small crawling passage with a box of equipment.

"I never really thought of her much as a mother, or as a woman for that matter. In my eyes she was always a scientist. As for the woman part... she might have been desperate, I didn't have the brightest childhood." Even the little path was swarmed in grey piping and wiring; it looked creepy to Misato. They came upon a small indent in the ceiling to the path and Ritsuko halted, turning herself to a sitting position, "Hand me the drill."

Misato did so.

"Hey Ritzy, I wanna apologize for the other day. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that..."

Ritsuko took the drill and attached a phillip's head bit, bringing it up to the small metal panel in the indent, "Is something going on with Shinji?"

Misato bit her lip, as much as she wanted to tell Ritsuko what she thought of NERV it wasn't a good idea. Even if she could trust her friend in a whole hearted way like she used to the fact still remained that she was extremely close to the Commander. "No," said Misato, "I know you're hiding stuff from me, and it sucks and I wanna know the truth, but it also shouldn't get in the way of our friendship. You remember when we were in college? We were so open with each other, and now sometimes it feels like I'm the only one doing the talking."

"I miss those days too," said Ritsuko softly as she finished prying off the panel.

"Ritzy, at least tell me something you haven't yet."

Ritsuko frowned in thought.

The panel had come off, revealing something that looked like a brain with small plug holes for needles. Ritsuko reached down to the bag and grabbed several data needles, injecting them into the spots. Misato handed her the keyboard she had just apparently plugged in, "I'm sorry Misato. I can't," she finally said.

Misato sighed, "That's what I thought you'd say. You can always talk to me, you know that right?" Misato held out her right hand, sticking out her pinky, "I'll always be your friend no matter what ends up happening, okay?"

Ritsuko raised an eyebrow, and despite herself she smiled. She brought her hand up as well, linking their pinkies together, "You've changed Misato."

"I have?"

"Yes, a lot. Is it Shinji?"

Misato smiled, "Yeah, yeah it might be. I feel like I need to look out for him, and he's been really great."

"Keep up the good work... Colonel."

Misato stuck her tongue out.

* * *

><p>Here it was... the moment of truth.<p>

The entire server room was silent, Gendo was there with Kozou and Ritsuko was biting her thumb nail, a habit she desperately wanted to break, especially when it came to tense situations like this.

"Are you sure this will work Ritzy?"

"We're about to find out, Maya, open the path back up and let it try to spread."

"Y... yes Ma'am."

The screen displaying the three MAGI flashed, and the half blue form of Casper's server started to slowly turn red.

"Thirty seconds until total corruption," said Maya.

'C'mon Mom.'

Ritsuko pulled her thumb from her mouth and glared.

'I know you built it better than this.'

"Twenty seconds."

_"Self destruction sequence initiated, overruled by Casper. System error."_

"Ten."

"Nine."

God dammit.

Her fists tightened.

Was it even working?

"Four."

"Three."

"Two."

The screen flashed.

"It... it's working Ma'am!"

Deep in the bowels of Central Dogma, an angel let out a roar of pain as it withered and died inside of something that was not its own.

Ritsuko let out a sigh of relief.

* * *

><p>My comm flared to life, "What do you want from me Shinji?"<p>

I sighed, "I just want you to realize you're not alone." She was silent, but she didn't cut me off this time, "It doesn't look like you wanna talk right now, so I'll keep my mouth shut, but you can't run away forever."

"... We'll see."


	14. Episode 14: I am I

**A/N: This ones a lot shorter, Ep 14 didn't give me much to work with so I threw in a conversation with Rei and another chunk of Shinji's past.**

'Mountains, heavier mountains...

But that changes with the passage of time.

Sky, blue sky... what your eyes can't see.

But your eyes can see.

The sun, one.

Only one.

Water.

Is agreeable.

Commander Ikari.

Flowers, so many the same.

So many without purpose.

Sky...

Sky of red.

Red the color... the color I hate.

The liquid flows; it drips, ripples, and pours.

Blood.

The scent of blood from a woman who does not bleed.

On the red soil the humans come.

Humans made by man and woman.

City, a human creation.

Eva, a human creation as well.

What are humans?

Are they creations of God?

Humans... are that which is created by humans.

This is that which is mine.

My life.

My heart.

I am a vessel for my thoughts.

The entry plug, throne of the soul.

Who is this?

This is me.

What am I?

WhatamI?

WhatamI?

WhatamI?

What am I?

I am I.

This object that is is myself.

That which it forms is me.

This is the self which can be seen and yet this is not like that which is myself.

Strange feeling, my body feels as if it is melting.

I can no longer see myself, my form, my shape.

Awareness dawns of someone who is not me.

Who is here.

Beyond me.

Shinji...

This person I know Colonel Katsuragi...

Doctor Akagi...

People...

My classmates...

The pilot of Unit Two...

Commander Ikari...

Who are you?'

Rei's eyes snapped open. The entry plug was quiet.

Her comm flared to life, _"So Rei, hows it feel to pilot Unit One for the first time?"_ asked Ritsuko.

"It smells like Shinji," she said softly.

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 14: I am I**

"Ikari, some of the angel attacks have not been in accordance with the dead sea scrolls, what is the meaning of this?" asked 01.

The old men all turned to him at once, the light from their chairs barely illuminating what one would call their faces. Even Gendo Ikari himself was unsure if this was what these men really looked like, whether or not this was their true appearance or simply a ruse like so much else they put forward, "The results are the same," said Gendo, "Things can be adjusted if necessary, and there has been no need so far. As long as the angels die and you keep your end, Instrumentality will happen."

The old men looked to and from one another; it was hard to say no to that logic, "Still," said 04, "The deviations are... troubling, especially the sixth, and the latest, the eleventh."

"The eleventh has yet to attack us," said Gendo.

01 frowned, "Yes, your report stated a false alarm. Still, I find it hard to believe that on the day of the attack an alarm goes off when no angel is present. You've been known to bend the truth and lie for your own ends Ikari."

"We will refrain from taking action this time, however, if you so much as put one toe out of line..."

The old men disappeared.

* * *

><p><em>"Alright Shinji, are you ready? Inserting plug."<em>

The whole purpose of this test was to see if we could pilot each others Evangelions. Rei had been able to synch with Unit One and Unit Two so far, and now it was my turn.

The plug lurched as it was slotted into Unit Zero's back.

The lights around me turned on.

_"Alright,"_ said Ritsuko,_ "No problems so far..."_

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

**I am I.**

"Rei?"

_"Approaching Absolute border."_

**"Shinji. Shinji Ikari. How do you read someone? How do you know?"**

She was there with me...

She was there...

An indescribable pain shot through my back. In a panic I gripped the control handles, lurching them to the side; the Evangelion didn't budge an inch.

* * *

><p>"Ma'am, nerve connections are shattering! Eva Zero... it's just like that time!"<p>

Rei stood at the observation window and watched as her own Evangelion put her friend's life in danger. Unit Zero pulled itself free of the restraints, grasping and clawing at its head as if it were trying to dig something out.

"Eject the entry plug now!" shouted Misato.

"I can't Ma'am!"

"How much time?"

"Unit Zero has forty-three seconds of power left!"

Unit Zero struggled in its every movement, as if everything it did caused it an insurmountable deal of pain. Rei could almost hear it scream in agony as it approached the window she was standing at. It brought its right fist up and crashed it down into the window, creating an indent. It did this several more times before giving up and walking to the wall at its side.

Unit Zero bashed its head into the wall...

Again...

And again...

And again...

A few seconds passed before Unit Zero shut down, arms on the wall that it had plowed nearly half through with its own head.

Rei's eyes narrowed.

**-Four Months Ago-**

I let out a sigh when I got home from school, setting my book bag on the small table by the front door and discarding my shoes haphazardly. The police were talking to me about sending me to an orphanage, and my teacher, bless her heart, was already talking about me coming to live with her.

Only one person had really been a solid thing in my life so far.

"I'm home!"

There was no response.

I didn't exactly expect one, even when he was here the best I would get was a drunk grunt in reply, then he'd go back to watching random sitcoms and news.

In the time that I was here I don't think he ever even slept on the bed. I had only seen him sprawled on the couch ever since my aunt left.

I would have to make a decision soon.

If I went to the orphanage I would probably end up moving away, and I didn't want to leave Haru, so I was mostly leaning towards staying with my teacher.

The house I had entered every day for the past nine years smelled of stale alcohol and unwashed laundry.

It would be nice to get away from this.

I leaned down, shuffling through the mail.

Unpaid bills swept past my vision.

'I don't think the electricity has been paid for in a while, I won't be surprised if this place gets shut down soon.'

Then... something caught my eye.

An otherwise ignorable envelope.

It had my father's address...

My real father's address.

In it was a cut out piece of newspaper with an ID badge attached to it.

In bold black permanent marker... the word 'Come' was written on the paper.

It looked like I'd be saying goodbye to Haru anyway.

* * *

><p>My eyes slowly opened to a white ceiling.<p>

The hospital again.

"I'm getting tired of this place," I grumbled to myself as I sat up.

"Perhaps you should be more careful."

I hadn't been expecting a reply. I turned my head to the left.

Rei was sitting in a small fold out chair. Despite her eerie appearance and almost mute presence, she contrasted the dull ache of the white room nicely, "How long have you been here?" I asked. She opened her mouth to speak, "No, wait, don't answer that. Better question, how long have I been out?"

"Just four hours."

I let out a sigh of relief, "Is Asuka here?"

"She was here earlier, but left as soon as the doctor said you would be fine."

"That's just like her I guess," I said with a sigh, cracking my neck. "I'm glad you're worried about me."

"Worried?"

"Yeah, coming to see me in the hospital, making sure I'm okay, that kind of thing. You didn't want me to get hurt I hope?"

"No... I... So that's what this is," she said, looking away from me.

"What?"

"Worry... I want my friends to be safe, correct?"

"Yeah. I'm worried about you too you know."

"You are?"

"Yeah, particularly about your relationship with my father. What kind of man would you say he is?"

"I wouldn't know."

"And you put your complete faith in him, just like that?"

"... Yes."

"But you hesitate to answer."

"I had to re-analyze myself. Lately... I have not been sure of many things. Before I met you everything was simple. I had a purpose, and the entire point of my existence was to carry out that purpose. I was raised to do so."

"Pilot your Eva?"

"That is a part of it, yes."

"What if he told you to kill yourself?"

"...I would."

"Why?"

"My purpose is to follow Commander Ikari's orders, even if it means my demise."

"Can't you have a purpose outside of that? What makes him so important that you would die for him? Yeah he raised you, but that has nothing to do with this."

"It doesn't?"

"No. Rei, you may not have many friends, but I'M your friend, I care about you. I don't like that you can just openly state you would do that for my father."

"Do you hate your father?"

"Not as much as I'd like to. Rei... I won't abandon you, and I won't abandon Asuka, and I definately won't leave Misato. I... I need you guys."

"Shinji, why do you trust me so much if you do not trust Commander Ikari?"

"You're not my father. You're Rei Ayanami, you're you."

She looked down at her feet, "I am I," she mumbled.

"You can choose what you want to do. No one controls what Rei Ayanami thinks."

"I see..."

* * *

><p>The large room held only two occupants, Gendo Ikari, sitting at his desk, and Fuyutsuki standing behind him, hands clasped behind his back. "The old men are getting impatient Commander."<p>

"I know that. They do not like the slightest deviation from their plans. It has to go according to the Dead Sea Scrolls for them, otherwise it is not worthy of their scenario. Trying to convince them otherwise is a waste of time. We will be fine."

"And the lance?"

"The lance is being prepared as we speak, Rei is taking care of it."

"And what of ADAM?"

"As I have said before Fuyustsuki, everything is going according to the scenario. I have everything under control."

"What about Rei?"

The Commander fell silent at that final question, his hands tightening around each other.

"I won't press the issue," continued Kozou, "But if you want this..."

"I know. Rei is not an issue. If the boy continues to influence her I will separate them."

"Separate?"

"Yes..."

* * *

><p>Rei Ayanami's grip tightened around the forked lance as she walked it with Unit Zero down the dark halls of Terminal Dogma.<p>

What was this feeling?

Guilt?


	15. Episode 15: The Kiss

**A/N: I'm the Review Monster, kind of like the Cookie Monster, except instead of cookies I want reviews dammit!**

**Also two for one, hoo ha!**

**EDIT: Altered some lines to make the transition from the kiss and Misato arriving home a bit more comfortable.  
><strong>

**-Kyoto-**

Kyoto was blistering hot, even more so than the tri-city Tokyo area was. The warehouse that Rouji Kaji was paying a visit to was, in particular, like a giant oven. It didn't help anything that he brought his favorite white suit jacket to conceal his weapon; it was quickly becoming his least favorite with how much he was sweating.

The warehouse itself was on the corner of a small street that led off to an elementary school. It was abandoned and out of the way. It made sense to Kaji; it was much too risky to meet a contact inside of Tokyo 3, or even the other Tokyos for that matter.

No, far safer to meet in a different city entirely.

As he entered the warehouse he took note of his surroundings. A lone desk sat a few feet away from the door that he entered.

The desk had an old spin-dial phone on top of it.

That must have been the phone that his contact used...

So where was his contact?

The door he entered opened on its own, drowning the silence of the empty warehouse with a loud creak.

Kaji wheeled around, reaching into his jacket and grasping the pistol grip of his weapon.

He shuffled his way to the door cautiously.

It had only opened about a foot, and when he peeked outside he smirked and let his hand drop, "It's been a while," he said, "Marduk?"

"We've been looking into it," said the middle-aged woman, sitting down on the edge of the sidewalk and opening a magazine as Kaji spoke with her through the crack in the door, "So far we have uncovered one hundred and six companies of the Marduk institute are nothing but fronts."

"I can only assume that means one o' eight and one 'o seven are also dummy corporations."

"Yes. About their board members..." The woman turned the page of the magazine and changed the angle ever so slightly.

Kaji's gaze moved down. Tucked in between the pages of the magazine was a list of common board members throughout many of the Marduk Institute's companies. Three caught his eye: Lawrence Kihl, Gendo Ikari, and Kozou Fuyutsuki.

"I recognize a lot of these names, but there are a few I'm really interested in," he said.

"I would recommend keeping your distance from anything to do with Marduk."

"I'm just out for the truth... who knows how far that'll take me or how long I'll last?"

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 15: The Kiss**

_"Hey, it's Kaji, I can't get to the phone right now so go ahead and leave a message."_

Asuka sucked in a large breath...

"No stay away from me you pervert! Kaji help me please!"

She smirked, satisfied with herself, hitting the button on her cell phone and flipping it closed. "That oughta do it," she said to herself proudly.

Several of the cleaning duty students eyed her like she was something strange. Then, without saying a word they went back to work. If there was one thing half of the student body had learned since Asuka's two and a half months in school it was that you do not disturb her world... lest you want to become a shishkabob.

Asuka leaned on her broom and let out a wistful sigh.

Hikari poked her head out from the classroom door and into the hallway, "Hey Asuka, I heard you screaming, what's wrong?"

"Oh nothing," said Asuka, leaning up against the wall and fiddling with her broom a bit, "Cleaning duty is boring so I was trying to get a hold of Kaji. It's weird though, we used to talk all the time but it's like he's been super busy lately."

"Hmm, so does that mean you've got a loose schedule?"

Asuka raised an eyebrow, "Loose schedule, what's that supposed to mean?"

Hikari looked to her left, and then looked to her right. When she was sure the coast was clear she made her way fully out into the hallway. She walked to her friend and leaned in to whisper...

"What?" shouted Asuka, "A date? You gotta be kidding."

Hikari laughed nervously at her friend's outburst, bowing slightly in apology, "I know, but he's a friend of my sister's, and he really really REALLY wanted to go on at least one date with you."

Asuka sighed and shook her head, "Fine... fine, but ONLY because it was you who asked me Hikari!"

Hikari smiled sheepishly, "Thanks Asuka."

* * *

><p>It was like a massive cleaning duty.<p>

Spring cleaning, except it wasn't Spring, it was a really hot Fall... and Spring cleaning was done of one's own volition.

If I wasn't mistaken every student was there.

Every once in a while the school had a day like this, where instead of one person on general cleanup, and sometimes a team to make a classroom shine, the entire school was coerced into janitor work.

It was pure, unbridled, cruel, painful torture.

Half of our class was inside the classroom sprucing up, and the other half was outside making sure the tiles in the hall were nice and shiny.

I sighed for what must have been the seventh time and let my gaze wander around the room.

My eyes fell on Rei.

She was on her knees over a full bucket with a small washcloth in her hands, ringing it out of the excess soap and water.

I made my way over to her, broom still in hand, "Yo," I said with a wave.

She looked up at me and blinked, "Good afternoon Shinji, we have not spoken today."

"Yeah, sorry about that, the guys dragged me off to have lunch with them. Not only that, but actually getting the lunch I made to Asuka was a chore in and of itself."

"You make lunch for Pilot Sohryu every day?"

"Yeah. Sometimes there won't be food in the fridge though, then we just eat at the cafeteria."

"I see."

"If you want to, you can eat with us next time, I'll even invite Asuka and the class rep."

Rei nodded, "Yes, I think... I would enjoy that."

Our conversation was interrupted when the cleaning end of a broom found its way to my head.

"Hey Shinji, quit flirting with Ayanami and get back to work!" shouted Touji.

I frowned, "Jerk, I wasn't flirting, we were just talking."

"Uh huh, sure."

* * *

><p>"Hey Asuka, you want something to eat?" I called from the kitchen.<p>

"Yeah, just grab me something to munch on."

I nodded and made my way to a top cupboard. I grabbed a couple of bags of chips and some dip before making my way to the living room. "Watcha watching?" I asked.

"Just news." Currently Asuka was sprawled out belly down on some pillows in front of the TV. She was wearing a loose t-shirt and a pair of short shorts.

"Scoot," I said.

She frowned, "Why should I?"

"Maybe I wanna watch the news too." She gave me a glare but moved over to leave me a pillow. I set the snacks down and plopped down on my stomach as well. I pried open my bag of chips and she did the same almost simultaneously... remnants from the synch training. I smiled... that was really the first time I actually talked to Asuka without risking her wringing my neck. "Heard you got a big date tomorrow."

She huffed, "I don't remember that being any of your business Shinji!"

I would have shrugged, but I was currently propped on my elbows, "Hikari told Touji, Touji told me, you know how it works."

"Wait, she told him? Why can't that idiot keep her big mouth shut?"

"Harsh much? She's your friend isn't she?"

"Yeah, doesn't mean she can't be annoying though."

I let out a sigh and put my chin on my right palm, "I've actually got a pretty big day tomorrow too."

She raised an eyebrow, "You do?"

"Yep. It's the anniversary of my mom's death." She was silent at that, so I kept talking, "It's actually been bugging me these past couple of days, but... I haven't really talked about it with anyone. I sorta just pushed it into the back of my mind so I wouldn't have to think about it."

"Tch, you do that every year?"

I smiled a bit, "Yeah, I'll admit to that. Especially these past few years. I never came back to visit her grave again after three years ago. It's not that I wanted to avoid her death... she's been dead my whole life almost. It's more about me avoiding my father."

"And why would you want to do that?" She kept her eyes glued to the TV, and she asked the question in a manner that implied she didn't really care what I was talking about, but the fact that she was asking at all surprised me.

"I never really wanted to face him after he abandoned me like that, I was mostly doing it out of obligation, eventually I just got fed up and never came back."

"Mmm."

The front door slid open.

"I'm home!"

"Sup," said Asuka, popping another chip into her mouth.

Misato turned the corner and raised an eyebrow, "You two should get to bed, tomorrows a big day."

"Not really," grumbled Asuka, "He's just some random guy. Hey Misato, can I borrow your lavender perfume?"

Misato let out a laugh and shook her head. "You are way too young for that stuff Asuka," she said, taking off her jacket as she made her way back to her room.

Asuka pouted, "Meanie."

I snorted, "It's not like you'd need perfume anyway, guy would have to be a blind idiot to not be glad to go on a date with you."

Asuka raised an eyebrow, and I thought I heard Misato let out a little yelp from her room and collide with something.

I laughed nervously and looked away, blood making its way merrily to my face, "I just said that out loud didn't I?"

I was expecting to get slugged... or something.

But Asuka turned back to the TV and ate another chip, cheeks slightly red and glaring daggers.

I decided it was time to go to bed.

* * *

><p>The graveyard was an eerily flat place. The ground below my feet was white concrete, more suited to a memorial slab than the endless graves that were in front of me. Row upon row of thin black gravestones went on for what seemed like miles.<p>

I stood in front of the one that mattered most to me.

'Ikari Yui'

'1977-2004'

"It's been a while since we've actually had the chance to talk... Father."

"Indeed."

Gendo Ikari approached me, his heavy foot steps halting just a few feet behind me.

"You know, I feel kind of guilty. Out of wanting to avoid you I ended up avoiding Mom too."

"Running away, blocking something out. It's a very natural instinct for us as humans, but Yui taught me that I can't forget."

I frowned, "I... I didn't want to forget her, but I was just so young. I can't remember her face. I remember I was there when she died, and she played with me a lot and loved to talk."

"You should cherish those memories Shinji, they are all you have left of her. I cherish mine."

"Yeah..."

The roar of a VTOL landing a about ten meters away interrupted what little conversation we were having. "I have to go,' he said, turning on a heel and walking towards the aircraft.

"I won't forget!"

He kept walking, but I knew he heard me.

* * *

><p>'God... I just wanna get out of here.'<p>

Apparently it behooved her current date to take her to an amusement park.

Asuka didn't have anything in particular against speedy carts and spooky houses, but damn if the guy Hikari set her up with wasn't the most boring person in the world.

Asuka tried to have fun, she really did.

Ride to ride, game to game, he never shut up about the basic practices of medicine; it was like all he wanted to talk about was school and being a doctor when he finally graduated.

His parents had raised him from the ground up to be the perfect doctor. The guy even went to some fancy private school that focused on medicine.

She stopped listening around the point when he started listing on various parasites and their symptoms.

It was around the second roller coaster that she made her move.

"Hey, can you go get some cotton candy?" she asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes for that extra little push, "This line is really long. I'll hold our spot."

"Sure."

And with that he was gone, off to fetch the cotton candy that she didn't really want.

Asuka was on the train bound for the residential area by the time he got back.

'I wonder what that idiot is up to right now...'

* * *

><p>I sighed as I straightened up my room a bit. I wasn't as much of a slob as Asuka or Misato but I still managed to leave things laying around once in a great while.<p>

After I had finished gathering a dirty shirt and some trash a case leaning against the wall in the corner garnered my attention.

It was large, about half my height, a black case for a string instrument.

The Cello.

I threw the trash in the small trash can by my desk and left the dirty shirt on the bed, making my way to the Cello. I laid it down gently and pried open the case, and with a smile extracted the instrument and the bow itself. It was still in good shape, but covered in a layer of dust and no doubt out of tune. I carried it carefully to the living area, gathering a chair as I made my way past the table.

I sat down and set the instrument carefully, taking position at the edge of the room.

Slowly, gently, I began to tune it, the bow gliding across the strings as I corrected every note.

When I was finished I couldn't help but ponder what I was doing.

I hadn't played the Cello in months, and here I was sitting down like I was getting ready for a concert.

I laughed under my breath, "What do I even remember?"

**_"Hey, hey Haru-chan, listen to THIS!"_**

That's right.

One of the few songs I could still recall from memory, despite being horridly out of practice. I had played it so much the notes were practically ingrained on my fingers by now.

Bach's Prelude of the Suite No. 1.

It was a piece that was often depicted in various forms of film and TV show, one of Bach's most popular songs.

It was also pretty difficult to play, but when I started the movements they came so naturally...

I saw my teacher, who was always kind to me.

I saw Haru, who taught me how to communicate.

I saw... Asuka...

A difficult girl. One of the few people I had no success in reading. Oh I knew she was scared of something, but I only saw her surface.

I was well practiced in seeing emotions.

The fact that I couldn't see hers was a sign that she was well practiced in hiding her own.

I was worried about her, but I was also angry at her.

Only the sound of clapping interrupted the song and my thoughts.

The bow stopped mid performance; if I was in front of a crowd they would be booing me off stage for ending so clumsily and making a fool of myself. I turned around, and standing in the doorway was Asuka, still in her casual dress, a light smile playing her lips.

"That was impressive."

I smiled, "I think that's the first real compliment you've given me Asuka."

"I'll let that one slide twerp. Seriously though, you've got talent." She made her way towards me, dragging her hand gently across my shoulder as she returned to her room. She left the door open and lay on the ground, facing me and propping her cheek on her palm, "Where'd you learn?"

"Nowhere in particular," I said with a shrug, "My teacher told me I should pick up music, and I just randomly picked the Cello and never stopped playing."

"Do you like it?"

"It's fun, wouldn't do it for a living though, and I was never too serious about it."

"Why didn't you drop it?"

"Several reasons. I think that music is the best form of art you can use to emote."

"Emote?"

"Yeah, show emotion. You watch these cheesy romances and you always see the main character singing to the girl or something. It's hardly ever like that in real life, but it's right in that music is the best way to get across how you feel. Even if you can't write your own there's bound to be a song out there somewhere that fits."

"So does that song fit?"

"It fits my need for a song that I remember well enough after not having touched my Cello for months."

"That's a dumb reason, you should keep practicing, that way you'll at least be good at SOMETHING. Outshining you in everything isn't very fun."

I laughed, "If you say so. How'd the date go?"

"It was a huge drag. I was only there because Hikari asked anyway. He turned out to be really boring so I ditched him while we were in line."

"That's kinda harsh."

"Whatever. Keep playing."

I smirked, "If you insist."

* * *

><p>The reception after the wedding had been long, and Misato ended up inviting Ritsuko and Kaji out to some fancy barclub down the street. The bar itself was outside and had a fantastic view of Tokyo 3's main lake. Under the night sky it was an absolutely beautiful sight.

Misato was much too plastered to enjoy the sight however, sitting between her old flame and best friend and downing drink after drink.

"That wedding was boring," mumbled Misato, resting her head on the bar.

"Well, you're the one who wanted to go. By the way you look gorgeous in that black dress."

Ritsuko rolled her eyes and Misato giggled, "Mmhm, Thank you Ka... hey wait a minute, quit flirting with me!" She stood up suddenly, almost loosing her balance in a drunken stupor. Kaji placed a hand on her back to help steady her, but she shoved it away, sticking her tongue out at him.

Kaji shook his head with a laugh when Misato started stumbling her way towards the bathroom.

"So..." said Ritsuko, "Did you bring it?"

Kaji nodded, "Oh I know better than to keep a lady waiting." He reached into his pocket, pulling out a small red sash and reaching far over to set it in front of Ritsuko.

She opened it, taking out a small piece of jewelery, what appeared to be a miniature diamond case of some kind.

"What were you doing in Kyoto?" asked Ritsuko.

"Kyoto? I didn't go to Kyot... oooh." He sighed, pocketing the sash once more.

Ritsuko smirked, taking her last shot, "You should be careful where you stick your nose, you could end up getting burned."

"The only thing that burns within me is my passion for lovely women."

"Scumbag," grumbled Misato as she plopped back down next to him, "Oh shit... I forgot to call Shinji." She stumbled for her cell phone in her purse, after finding it she flipped it open and dialed, setting it to her ear.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey Shinji it's me, I'm gonna be a little late tonight, I'm out drinking with Kaji and Ritzy." Her words were clear, but they held the slightest hint of a drunken slur.

_"Alright, you sound a little screwed up already, haha. make sure you two have fun."_

"Shinji!" She frowned when the phone clicked, "That little brat hung up on me. Oh I'm gonna get him for this. 'Have fun' he says!"

Kaji laughed, "Maybe you should take his advice."

"Quiet you!"

* * *

><p>"Well, that's that, Misato's hanging out with Kaji tonight," I said, pushing the end button on the phone and setting it on the table.<p>

"Whaaaat! She'll be out all night then!"

I raised an eyebrow, "And you think that because?"

"Well it's obvious isn't it? That harlot... stealing Kaji from me!"

I eyed my Cello leaning against the wall, I had taken a break when the phone rang, and Asuka had complained... she was still complaining.

"Now I gotta listen to you play your stupid Cello!"

I smirked, "You didn't mind too much, it looked like you were actually enjoying yourself for once."

"I'm so bored anything is better than nothing!"

"Well, we could watch TV."

"No way, nothings on."

"Play some video games?"

"You only have single player and I already beat all the good ones!"

I sighed, "Then what do you want from me? I'm doing the best I can here."

She brought a finger to her chin and closed one eye, looking up at the ceiling, "Hmmmm." She made her way around the table, walking towards me until we were a few feet apart, "Do you wanna kiss me?"

"Do I... wha?"

* * *

><p>"Haha, getting so drunk you almost pass out, it's been a while since I've seen you like this."<p>

Kaji adjusted his grip on Misato's thighs. Giving her a piggy back ride home down dark streets wasn't exactly in his list of plans for the evening, but it's not like he could have left her there, after all, he still...

Misato giggled, "Oh man, I'm sorry about all this... I kinda get a bit carried away shomtimes, but I really wanted to stay longer Kaji..."

His smirk vanished, and his demeanor softened, "No... no don't worry about it. You just need to get home."

"You can lemme down now," she said softly.

He complied, letting her to her feet gently and handing her high heels to her. She wisely chose not to put them back on, she was so inebriated she doubt she could manage walking even in a curvy line if she had those things on.

They continued walking, their pace slightly slowed so Misato could maintain her bearings.

"Kashi... do you think I'm pathetic?"

Kaji raised an eyebrow, turning on the woman and halting them both, "What do you mean?"

"I don't know." She looked down at the ground as if she were guilty of something, "I thought I had changed, I thought I could have the courage to talk to you without being wasted, but I ended up getting drunk like an idiot anyways... I thought jusht getting revenge would be fine... did you know I ran away from you because I fell in love with you? I was scared because you reminded me so much of my dad. That makes me pathetic, right?"

"Shut up, you're not pathetic," he said softly, planting his hands on her shoulders.

"And... and I've been thinking this past month, what if I didn't run, what if I stayed? Where would we be now?" She looked down, a few tears falling from her eyes, "Ah shcrew it," she muttered.

Before Kaji could react she had pushed herself into him, locking their lips together.

It wasn't anything crazy like they used to do, just a simple, chaste kiss to show him that he still had a place with her.

* * *

><p>"You heard me Shinji."<p>

I wasn't sure I did.

There was Asuka, standing a few feet away from me, asking me if I wanted to kiss her, "I'm bored," she said, "There's nothing else to do."

Was that it?

I stepped forward.

She held up a hand, "Hang on..." She adjusted herself a little bit, running a hand through her hair and down her dress, after a deep breath... "Alright, here I come, pucker up!" Asuka moved forward, pushing her lips towards mine. "Stop breathing Third, it feels weird."

She brought her right hand up, clamping it down on my nose and moving to seal our lips together.

I set my right leg forward, pushing her back and getting a muffled sound from her throat as her tongue pushed into my mouth.

I brought my own hand up, prying hers from my nose.

My head wasn't clear, somehow we ended up against the wall... I didn't know how long we were locked against each other, but it definitely lasted for a while.

It was clumsy, we were both teenagers...

I had never kissed anyone before.

The little sounds from her throat egged me on.

By the time we had finally pulled apart we were both pretty short of breath. My hands were around her shoulders.

Her eyes were dazed, locking with mine.

She brought her right hand up slowly, almost hesitantly, and placed it on my cheek, gently tracing it down.

"Asuka..."

"I'm home!"

We snapped apart and turned to face the entrance hallway.

Misato came stumbling around the corner with a smirking Kaji holding her around the shoulders so she didn't fall.

"Hope you two didn't do anything while I wash oouuut... or do I?"

I could almost feel the heat radiating from Asuka's face, not that I was any better off in that department.

I cleared my throat, "Did you... did you have a nice night Misato?"

She looked unsure for a second, as if she were trying to remember something, then she grinned, "Oh yeah, it was awesome."

Kaji laughed softly, scratching his cheek and looking away, "Anyways," he said, "I better get going, make sure this lady gets to bed you two."

"Y... yes!" we shouted at the same time.

Asuka turned to me and glared.

I knew her hand was coming but I didn't stop it, "That was for pulling a stunt like that! Jerk!" She huffed and stomped back to her room.

"Jeez, whatsh her problem Shin?"

I brought a hand to my cheek and frowned.

'God dammit... I think I'm falling for the Great Asuka Langley Sohryu.'

"Nothing, c'mon Misato, you could use some sleep."

**-Terminal Dogma, Next Day-**

He moved with purpose down the dark hallway, his pace quick but his footsteps making little noise.

This was it, he had finally found it.

The large door loomed over him, a single card scanner to the right of it.

He brought the card up...

And felt something hard and metal press against his back.

"I think we need to stop keeping secrets from each other now that we're back together... Kaji."

Kaji smiled warmly as the gun left his back and Misato holstered it, walking to his side, "I didn't know you were snooping around too Misato, I could have used you." She smacked him on the arm and he sighed, "I didn't mean it that way."

"Then pick better words! So..." she ran a hand through her hair, "Now that we've established trust was there something you wanted to show me?"

Kaji frowned... that sounded like a threat.

He stepped forward, swiping the red pass card.

The door opened like the entrance to a tomb.

Misato's eyes widened.

"Oh my God..."


	16. Episode 16: Breaking Point

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, been super busy and I got in trouble at work, but here's Episode 16 in all its glory! Enjoy! PS: Bipolar Asuka**

**EDIT: Nerfed a repeated line. Made Asuka firing on the angel a bit more specific, thanks to Weapon VII for pointing that one out.  
><strong>

"Oh my God."

"Yeah, that's what I said too." Kaji pocketed the key card and glared up at the creature crucified on the giant cross in front of them. It was about the size of an Eva, cut off at the mid thighs, ending in a bubbly mass of flesh. It was a disturbing bone white color, and wore a mask with seven eyes. A thin forked lance protruded from its chest. The door they walked into led out to a large metal platform that dipped off into a massive lake of LCL.

The cross was right in the center of that lake.

The room smelled of blood, and the sight itself was sickening.

Misato didn't know what to say. She was almost overcome with an urge to throw up, "Is this..."

"ADAM, yes."

"I knew it, God I knew it but I didn't want to believe it!" She brought a hand to her forehead, a spell of dizziness nearly overcoming her.

She felt... infuriated.

Kaji put a hand on her shoulder, supporting her a bit, "This is one of NERV's many secrets, I only found out about it just recently."

"The fleet that the Over the Rainbow was at the head of... Shinji said... he said the angel that attacked the fleet came for ADAM."

"He what?"

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 16: Breaking Point**

Asuka had gone to take a bath, which was good for me because I was attempting to cook dinner, and I didn't need her over my shoulder screaming at me to hurry up. It was bad enough that Misato was half drunk and periodically whiny and cheerful, I didn't need crankiness to round off the triangle.

"God that smells soooo good Shinji! Where'd you learn how to cook?" asked Misato, pushing her head into her arms after she finished off another beer.

I smiled, stirring the pot a bit more and bringing the burner down to medium, "I never had much choice."

Before the conversation could take its course the door to the bathroom had been pried open. I peeked around the corner and there was Asuka...

In nothing but a red towel.

She really did look good in red.

"The water is way too hot you idiot!" she shouted, pointing an accusing finger at me, "I told you hot not scalding!"

"I like my baths hot, when you said hot I gave you hot."

"Do you have the skin of a rhino or something? Mien Gott!" She threw her hands up in the air, still glaring at me, "And what the hell are you staring at?"

"Something that needs an attitude adjustment. If you want I can drain it out and start over."

"ERGH!" she screamed, slamming the door shut.

I sighed and shook my head, reminding myself to make an attempt at having a long talk with Asuka.

She didn't seem very open so I wasn't expecting to get much.

Not to mention that was the first time she had spoken to me since that night, and it was to scold me about the bath water being too hot.

"Dinners ready," I said, suddenly feeling a bit down in the dumps.

Misato pulled her head up and eyed me apprehensively, "You okay?"

"Yeah... yeah just... feeling a bit funny." It wasn't a lie, but it still made me feel bad hiding stuff from Misato, the woman was like the sister I never had after all, "Have you been doing alright? I mean... I heard you got back together with Kaji."

Misato coughed, looking to the side, "I... guess you could say that."

"Not sure?"

"No! No we're back together, Shinji we need to talk."

I dished up dinner and set the three plates on the table, hoping that Asuka would be out before her food grew cold. There was a slight hint of worry in her voice. "What is it?"

"Kaji took me to see something the other day." She set her beer down and the atmosphere of the room changed completely. I didn't feel like I was being interrogated or anything, but the whole thing made me extremely uncomfortable, "It was ADAM, ADAM is in Terminal Dogma, deep in NERV headquarters."

I didn't know how to take the news. I should have been happy that my deductions had been correct, I should have been glad that I finally had something on my father, but I felt none of that.

Only apprehension...

"You're sure about this Misato?"

She nodded, "I told Kaji what we've been talking about these past couple of months. You know, your suspicion, the Commander, the angels talking to you."

"Can you trust him?"

"With my life. He doesn't tell me everything, and I know he's pulling the double agent act for SOMEONE, but he wouldn't hurt me, and he's not a bad person."

If Misato trusted him then so did I. "Right." I took a deep breath, "So what do we do?"

"Kaji is looking into something, he says he'll let me in on it when the time comes, but for now he says we should just go about business as usual."

"Okay, kill angels, pilot Evas, just like nothing happened. Still, why not just tell us?"

She looked down and shook her head, "I don't know, but I wish he would. I'm worried."

I couldn't say anything to that, I felt exactly how she was feeling right now, except my worry was directed towards her and not Kaji.

* * *

><p>Asuka was infuriated.<p>

The latest synch test scores were in, and she was doing horribly. She shoved the deflated plugsuit in her locker, angrily donning her school uniform.

"I don't get it!" she shouted to no one in particular, throwing her arms up in the air. Rei was there as well, so she supposed she would vent on someone, even if that someone was a doll. Her eye twitched. Shinji had asked her why she hated Rei, that was exactly why... a doll with no life, staring at you, never warranting the attention it got and still earning it from its owner.

A fuckin' doll. Asuka gritted her teeth, "Let's all cater to Mr. Perfect!" She could do nothing but continue to vent her frustration and anger, "He's never had any training before the angels, and he's so arrogant. I just wanna put him in his place!"

Asuka slammed her locker, letting out a frustrated scream.

The doll turned to her and glared.

Ha... that was impossible, dolls didn't show emotion.

"He has saved your life twice and compliments you well as a fellow pilot."

"Oh yeah? What would you know? I see the way you look at him! Why don't you two just get it over with?"

If possible, Rei's expression showed even more anger than before, yet her voice stayed level, "Shinji has already told me who he is attracted to; it is not me."

"What are you even talking about?" screamed Asuka.

Rei picked up her book bag, walking to the entrance to the cage's locker room. Before she exited she turned her head over her shoulder, "I'm leaving."

Rei was gone.

Asuka gritted her teeth. She thought she heard one of them crack, but she didn't care.

She was so angry.

So pissed at that idiot.

So pissed about two days ago.

She started punching her locker, screaming out all her pent up rage; it came out like some horrifying wail.

Her fists wouldn't stop hitting the locker, her throat was sore, yet she had no choice but to scream.

She remembered the kiss...

The pain was registering, but she didn't care, the locker was dented horribly, but she didn't care.

'Fuck him...'

She hated it.

She hated the way he kissed her.

She hated how warm it felt.

She hated that she was stupid enough to let him do it.

The screaming finally stopped.

She held her hands up in front of her face and tried to clench them, hissing as the pain shot through her fingers.

Blood dripped all the way down to her elbows...

She just...

Stared at her bloody hands.

**-Yesterday-**

"Rei, can I talk to you?"

It was lunchtime, and I ended up not being able to make good on my earlier promise with Rei to get everyone together at lunch, mostly because Asuka was avoiding me like the plague ever since the night before. I found Rei in the cafeteria, poking at a single salad in front of her, tucked away in the very last table in the right hand corner, where no one sat but her.

She nodded, gesturing for me to sit down.

I sat across from her, trying to drown out all the clustered noise of people talking and chatting.

I heard laughter.

"Rei, I'm sorry about this," I muttered, "I just... I wanted to get everyone together but, heh, well you see how that turned out."

"Pilot Sohryu did not walk into school with you today."

I scratched the back of my head, "Yeah, she's kind of avoiding me."

I tried to pinpoint why I was feeling so down in the dumps about this.

Yeah I did have feelings for Asuka... but it was exactly like her to avoid me, and it would probably only be for a couple of days.

So then why did I feel like my entire world was about to come crashing down around me? "Me and Asuka... kissed last night."

Rei's expression shifted slightly, her fork dropping into her salad.

I saw confusion in her.

But more importantly, now that I looked closely...

I remembered my first impression of her, her eyes had been so dull back then. Now they were a sharp red, almost unnaturally beautiful.

"I don't know about things like that," she said softly, "I do know that a kiss is a show of affection between two lovers."

I blushed and turned away, letting out a light cough, "I... It seems like that's only a wish now."

"Why is that?"

"I already told you, she's avoiding me."

Rei nodded softly. "Shinji, I think I understand what being a friend is."

I tilted my head.

She continued, "When you talk with me it feels like I am getting to know you as well as myself. It is a strange feeling. You once told me that Pilot Sohryu was a complicated person, and that I am not, why do you think that is?"

I propped my cheek on my hand, looking over my shoulder about four tables away.

There was Asuka, poking at her food with a frown while Hikari ate away, chatting her ear off. It took a minute for her to notice how Asuka was acting, and she leaned over and whispered something, putting a hand on her back.

I turned away, "I don't know. She just... tries to hide herself I think."

"I see."

"Somethings been bugging you, I can see it, but you've also changed a lot Rei."

"I suppose I have. I have come upon a dilemma. I would... like to speak with you more often to make sure of something."

"Yeah, no problem, any time. Do you have a phone?" She shook her head, "Alright then, just drop by Misato's place and I'll make time for you."

"Shinji..."

"What is it?"

"Why did you kiss Pilot Sohryu?"

I frowned, turning back to Asuka, who had slipped back into her mask and was now laughing and chatting it up with Hikari, "She's the first person I've had trouble with in a long time... it started with me worrying about her and I guess it went from there."

Rei nodded, picking the fork back up.

I didn't get any food.

I wasn't exactly in the mood to eat.

* * *

><p>"What the hell is that?"<p>

Misato Katsuragi was taken aback by what Makoto had put up on the viewing screen in the control room.

"It showed up a few minutes ago, the strange thing is that it's giving off a blood pattern of orange. It's just been floating there ever since it showed up."

"What's the flight pattern?" asked Misato.

Maya leaned forward and frowned, "It's just going in circles above the center of the Geofront."

"Is it some new type of angel?"

Maya frowned, "We don't know ma'am."

The thing itself was huge, a sphere about eight times the size of an Eva. It was black with white stripes in random places, almost like someone clumped a zebra into a ball and made it float.

Misato pulled out her phone.

* * *

><p>Misato was walking faster than I'd ever seen before. The three of us trailed behind her, having changed into our plugsuits. She was briefing us on the fly and I could tell just by looking at her that she was a bit jittery.<p>

"We don't know anything about the angel," she said, turning another corner and walking in front of us toward the Eva cages, "It's blood pattern orange and it hasn't made its move yet."

I frowned, "That... doesn't sound reassuring."

Misato wheeled on us, planting her hands on my shoulders.

Her military bearing cracked, and I could see she was worried sick for us, "Just be careful, approach it together and assess the situation. We'll go out for ramen again, okay?"

I nodded.

* * *

><p>I gritted my teeth, leaning around the corner of a skyscraper and eying the thing floating above, just out of reach. My grip tightened on the pistol.<p>

When the angel floated behind another building I made a break for the next building across the intersection, the umbilical cable trailing behind me. I jammed my feet into the ground and skidded to a halt, taking cover behind it. "In position. Asuka, Rei, where are you?"

_"In position,"_ said Rei softly.

_"I'm almost there, just gimme a second, sheesh."_

The angel was close enough now that I could hear it. It was letting off some low humming noise.

_"Alright I'm there Third, what now?"_

I frowned, "Well it's a sphere so it's not like we can flank it."

_"Perhaps we can utilize the same strategy as the fifth angel."_

"No, no that would be way too risky, Misato said we don't know anything about it. If anything we should approach it with caution. I'm on point, Asuka, you're closer by so cover me."

_"Whatever."_

Her biting tone made me unsure of whether I'd be able to rely on her. Before it wouldn't be a problem, but there was venom in the way she spoke to me. "Alright, moving."

I decided to push it to the back of my mind. I leaned around the corner and slowly made my way towards it, sticking close to cover and training my pistol on it.

Even though she was pissed at me I still trusted her.

This was a mistake.

Not trusting Asuka, she opened fire as soon as the shadow started to spread along the street...

But rather, approaching the angel at all.

Asuka's bullets hit air, the Angel's body had disappeared.

_"Blue pattern detected, the angel is shifting!"_

I felt my whole body sink and looked down.

The shadow crept up the purple legs of the Evangelion.

"Rei, Asuka, get to higher ground now!"

I could only hope that they listened to me.

* * *

><p>Misato's eyes widened as she saw Rei and Asuka scramble up the sides of nearby buildings, discarding their cables as the angel disappeared and the shadow on the ground overtook everything.<p>

The last thing she heard was Shinji's horrified screaming.

The pistol went off over and over again, only stopping when Eva 01 had been completely absorbed.

Misato choked, holding back tears of panic. She was in command now, she couldn't afford to let herself loosen like that, "Unit Zero and Unit Two, fall back now! We'll give a debriefing and figure this out!"

_"Yes Ma'am."_

Asuka didn't reply.

* * *

><p>"What do you mean you have to go?"<p>

I looked at the paper in my hand and frowned. The park seemed... sad today. "I... this is the first time my father has contacted me in years. I don't know if I'll be coming back."

I looked at my feet, letting the feeling of guilt overwhelm me.

"Tokyo 3 right?" she asked suddenly.

I looked back up, "Wha..."

"You're not sure if we'll ever see each other again, but I think we will. My mom got a job somewhere, we're moving too. I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid."

"Wait, I'm confused, you're moving too?"

She nodded, "Yeah. We're dropping by to several of our families' places on the way there, it's going to be a big trip."

I wished I could relate, but... I didn't really have a family minus the girl sitting next to me on the park bench. When I thought about it like that it was like I was leaving my sister behind. "I'm sorry."

She bopped me on the head, "What'd I tell you about that?"

"No, I really am. It feels like I'm just ditching you."

"I'll look you up," she said softly, "No matter how hard you are to find."

"Thank you."

**Shinji Ikari.**

* * *

><p>The small laboratory echoed with the sound of a slap, "What do you mean there's no choice?" shouted Misato.<p>

Ritsuko sighed. She knew Misato could react this way, but the colonel had the right to know before the briefing. It was hard enough losing Shinji to the angel, but having to kill him...

The slap was a predetermined thing.

"The battery life of an Eva running on life support alone is just above sixteen hours, it's already been two. We tried pulling out the cable but all we got for our troubles was a ripped power line. I'm sorry Misato, but there's little chance that Shinji can get out of this. He's been absorbed by the angel and dropped in a blank plain of reality, a Dirac Sea."

Misato took a deep breath, "I know... I know we have to destroy the angel."

"If it helps..." Ritsuko laid a hand on her friend's shoulder, "We're waiting until Eva One's life support has run out completely, and then we'll make our move."

Misato frowned.

It didn't help at all in fact; it just made her more worried for Shinji. She knew that Ritsuko was right, but even thinking about Shinji running out of time was ridiculous to her.

Before they could continue the conversation several more people crowded into the laboratory and Ritsuko wheeled a white board in front of the group.

It was a small room fit for only a small group.

The bridge bunnies were all there, along with a few key NERV personnel. Misato gritted her teeth, taking her place among them.

"The plan is to fire on the creature so it activates its Dirac Portal," said Ritsuko, "It's a high possibility that the core is kept inside of the Dirac Sea that it's connected to. Once the portal opens we fire an N2 mine into it. It will destroy the area, but the portal would absorb everything into the Dirac anyways."

Maya frowned, "What about Pilot Ikari Ma'am?"

"We're giving him his time, when the life support runs out we strike. Prep Unit Zero and Two. Misato, brief the pilots, they'll be the ones firing on the angel, strip the Evas to Type B equipment so they're agile enough to avoid the portal and the explosive."

Misato could only nod.

* * *

><p>The sound of static.<p>

The ear buds fell out of my ears, the SDAT player clattering to the ground.

The train rattled around a corner...

Sunlight streaming in through nowhere.

There was no scenery, just light...

And the train.

**Shinji Ikari.**

I felt like I was falling.

"Yes. Who are you?"

**I am Shinji Ikari.**

The sound of cicadas.

Across from me...

Sitting on the other side of the car...

A small boy leaned forward.

Short brown hair.

A striped shirt.

"But I'm Shinji Ikari."

**As am I. I am the Shinji Ikari as Shinji Ikari sees himself. Respectably, there is also the Shinji Ikari that Rei Ayanami sees, the Shinji Ikari that Misato Katsuragi sees, the Shinji Ikari that Gendo Ikari sees, and... the Shinji Ikari that Asuka Sohryu sees.**

I heard something ringing.

Like a phone.

**You fear.**

"I fear?"

**You fear becoming like him, so you hide behind others' problems under the pretense of helping them, when it is simply a way to avoid the inevitable.**

"Him?"

**Yes.**

_**"Auntie, Auntie Sakuya!"**_

"No."

**You deny it?**

"Deny what? Nothing happened, she left me to rot with my uncle, just like my father did."

**You can never completely erase a memory, only run away from it.**

"I never run."

**Yes, you are an Eva pilot. Your sole purpose is to protect people and battle the angels, is it not? You've never really had much until now.**

"I've had Haru."

**She left you just like everyone else, just like everyone you know now will leave you.**

Everything blurred in my vision... if it was my vision. Something in my brain clicked, "Shut up."

**It's been almost half a year, where is she? Isn't that what you ask yourself? She said she would find you.**

"Shut up."

**She's afraid of you. Just as you're afraid of yourself, she's seen your other side.**

"You don't know anything!"

**I am you. Shinji Ikari is afraid of being alone. Shinji Ikari bolsters himself, using other peoples' emotions to boost his own ego. The selfless act of helping someone becomes selfish. You pilot because it feels good to destroy, you understand because empathy is your drug. You use empathy to hide your true self. You fear Asuka Sohryu because she is your polar opposite, your enemy.**

"SHUT UP!"

The train screeched to a halt.

My eyes snapped open.

The plug's LCL was thick. I choked, bringing a hand to my throat. It felt like I was suffocating.

It smelled like blood.

The timer on the display screen was at two hours remaining.

I panicked.

I stood up from the seat, bashing against the plug wall, willing something to come and save me, to come and set me free of this nightmare.

I didn't even hear my own screams anymore.

* * *

><p>"I swear! He acts all tough but in the end he's totally useless!" Rei and Asuka stood on the roof of the Eva docks, looking down at the city below them, and at the angel floating above geofront.<p>

"Shinji did what was tactically feasible," said Rei softly, "The angel's capabilities were unable to be taken into account due to its unknown nature."

"Are you saying it's not the idiot's fault he got eaten?" shouted Asuka, turning on the blue haired girl and closing the distance between them.

"Yes."

"Why the hell do you like him so much anyway? There's no reason to, especially not after what he pulled today. I'll bet he's dead already!"

Rei felt her hand twitch slightly, "He still has one hour remaining."

"He probably died when the angel ate him."

'Serves him right.'

Asuka was so wrapped up in her own ranting that she didn't notice Rei's hand lash out.

She did notice the sting on her cheek, however.

Asuka's eyes widened, "What the hell is wrong with you Wondergirl?"

Rei herself looked a bit shocked, but she recovered quickly, "You speak ill of him after he has done so much."

"What are you talking about?"

"Did you forget that he saved you? I will not repeat it again."

Asuka gritted her teeth.

This DOLL wouldn't tell her what to do, "Tch, he doesn't care about me," she grumbled.

"Tell me Pilot Sohryu, do you pilot your Eva to gain others' approval?"

"Screw you Wondergirl!"

* * *

><p>It was my tenth birthday, and the apartment smelled of stale beer and expired food as always.<p>

"You better not tell anyone about this you little bastard."

I nodded.

"I mean it, I've already got enough to deal with and I don't want this shit following me everywhere. Don't go talking to your friends either, 'cause I'll know and there'll be hell to pay."

I tried to look around my uncle and into the room behind him, but he stepped in front of me, cutting off my line of sight. He reached down and grabbed my ear, shutting the door behind him with his spare hand, "You don't need to fuckin' see that! Did I tell you to look, eh? Did I you little shit? Can you even hear what I'm saying right now?"

I kept my mouth shut, knowing that if I talked he would probably just smack me again.

He shoved me away and glared down at me, "Go do homework or something, just get outta my sight."

* * *

><p>Asuka's grip tightened around the control handles. She gritted her teeth and eyed the display, cursing under her breath at the abysmal synch rate. She turned back to the target, putting it out of her mind.<p>

Wondergirl was across the way from her, taking cover behind the building directly adjacent to hers.

Her grip tightened around the sub machine gun, "Unit Two in position."

_"Unit Zero in position."_

_"Alright, get ready to fire."_

* * *

><p>The plug was cold.<p>

The timer was at about three minutes I think, it was hard to tell with my vision blurring.

I coughed up blood and saw it float through the LCL in front of my eyes. I could no longer scream, I couldn't even talk to myself.

My throat was damaged and I had no energy left.

Thirty seconds.

I asked myself...

Was I really running away from something?

Twenty...

It felt good to help people, was that selfish?

Was I using other people as shields?

Ten...

I would never get the answers.

Nine...

I was about to die.

Eight...

I could feel my lungs collapse inward.

Seven...

My eyes rolled into the back of my head.

Six...

**_"Shinji..."_**

The timer froze at five and the LCL thinned out. My lungs opened and my cramped muscles relaxed as the oxygen flowed into my blood stream. I felt a pulse, almost like something long dormant was coming out of its cave, heart beating at a steady rhythm for the first time in years.

I felt a warm hand on my cheek.

**_"Shinji."_**

"Mom?"

* * *

><p>"Ma'am..."<p>

Ritsuko stepped forward when Maya gestured her over to the screen, "What is it?"

Ritsuko could only stare in complete and utter shock at what she was seeing.

* * *

><p>Eva 01's arm burst forth from the sphere, which halted its movements above the city. A second passed before red blood began to spurt forth from the wound in the angel, coating the streets below it.<p>

A primal roar echoed as another arm reached out, spreading the wound ever further.

The angel's screams of terror and pain echoed across the empty streets of Tokyo 3.

The ground turned black below the angel, and red shards sprung forth, small towers of solidified blood.

The towers cracked and the angel's screams became even louder.

The Eva leaped forth from the sphere as it began to descend towards the Earth. Covered in blood, the Eva turned and spread its arms out, catching the angel before it hit the ground.

With another bestial roar, the Eva slammed the sphere into the ground as the portal to the Dirac Sea shattered and vanished, leaving the streets and itself covered in the angel's blood.

The Eva punched through, digging out the angel's insides, pulling out random chunks of flesh and entrails and tossing them aside.

Inside the plug...

Shinji Ikari's mad laughter could be heard...

Echoing over the comm channels in Central Dogma.

* * *

><p>My eyes opened to the ceiling of the hospital.<p>

"Again," I muttered under my breath.

"You're awake. I am... relieved."

I turned my head to the side, and just as last time, Rei Ayanami sat in a folded out chair.

"Did you stay here the whole time again?"

She nodded, "Yes, I felt like I had to."

I grunted, trying to sit up in the bed and finding that every single muscle in my body felt like it was about to burst, "Ugh, what happened?"

"Unit One went berserk. The effects of being in a Dirac Sea and your synchronization have taken a toll on your body. It would be wise not to move for at least another ten hours."

"God... hopefully the food is good this time."

Rei peeked over her shoulder, her eyebrows raising slightly, as if she just realized something. She planted her hands on her knees, standing suddenly, "I believe it's time for me to go," she said softly.

Before I could ask her why she was already heading out the door of my room. As the door slid open I saw Asuka leaning around the corner with a frown on her face. She let out a startled yelp, retreating behind the wall as Rei passed her and the door closed.

I didn't hear movement for at least a minute.

My mouth opened, but no words came out.

I frowned and looked down at my lap, remembering what that thing had said to me.

It said I feared her.

Did I?

I sighed and shook my head.

'Better to leave it be, she's avoiding me anyways.'

Before I closed my eyes again I heard the door snap open, "God you're useless," she muttered, making her way to the chair that Rei had occupied not but a moment earlier. She glared down at me when she sat, "Jeez, you can't do shit without me can you?"

Did I?

I let out a sigh, "Nah, I could NEVER do anything without the Great Asuka Langley Sohryu backing me up."

She smirked, "Damn right, next time you should let me take point, that way the angel doesn't try to eat you!"

"Was the Princess worried about me?"

I didn't know.

"Pff, no way, I wouldn't worry over someone as pathetic as you!"

All I knew was that at that moment...

"You used to be such a good liar when we first met Asuka, what happened?"

"Shut up." She smacked me on the forehead, "Idiot."

I was glad that she came to see me.


	17. Episode 17: The Fourth Child

**A/N: Heyo to all the three hundred people who seem to be reading this fic (love the statistics counter) It makes me feel warm inside that so many people are enjoying it, even though it's just an Eva rewrite with EMPASHINJI. I've been rereading the chapters and I've noticed mistakes I've made, some glaring, some not so much, so I'll be doing some heavy editing for the next couple of days, other than that enjoy the episode and thanks for reading.**

**PS: Drop off a review plx.**

Misato was uncomfortable to say the least. She never dealt with the Committee, that was always Commander Ikari's job. However, here she stood in a darkened room, only a small light above her. She did not know who was speaking, and this did not sit well with her.

"Are we to understand that the pilot will be unable to attend this meeting?"

"Yes," said Misato, "It is my belief that he is undergoing heavy mental strain after his encounter with the angel, and a meeting like this could cause him undue stress. His report will have to be enough."

"Speaking of the angel," said another voice, "Do you think it tried to initiate contact with the pilot?"

She didn't like the way they talked about Shinji, like he was some sort of tool, an object for their whims and uses.

What made it worse... that was exactly what he was, a child soldier, pilot of Eva One.

Misato still didn't understand why he chose to pilot.

"There has been no evidence that the angel tried to communicate with Sh... Pilot Ikari. All facts would point towards the angels being incapable of such communication. If they were capable it would make more sense to have a coordinated attack instead of one showing up at a time."

"True, the angels have attacked as individuals thus far..."

"That is all Colonel Katsuragi, dismissed."

She bowed her head, turned on her heel, and got out of there as fast as she could without breaking into a run.

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 17: The Fourth Child**

**Lilim scum.**

**Running away.**

**Shinji Ikari is afraid.**

**Your enemy.**

**Your polar opposite.**

**Hatred.**

**Purge.**

**"What are you, stupid?"**

**"God you're so useless, I hope you burn!"**

**"Wondergirl too!"**

**"Then I'll be the only Eva pilot!"**

**"Things will be better that way!"**

_**"Auntie, auntie Sakuya!"**_

I stumbled out of my bed in a cold sweat, a scream on the edge of my throat but not quite able to make it all the way out. I fumbled through my room, reaching out to the light switch by the door. I clicked it on and tried to gather myself.

I couldn't breathe...

'Deep breaths Shinji, just a dream, just a dream, everything is fine.'

I made my way back to my bed on wobbly legs, sitting down on it and trying to get my bearings.

It was... difficult.

My head was a bit clearer, so I stole a glance at the clock.

Two AM.

I ran a hand through my hair.

Inhale...

Exhale...

My door slid open, garnering my limited attention.

* * *

><p>Asuka's hands worked slowly, methodically, unwrapping the few bandages that she put around her hands. Shinji had asked her earlier what had happened, so she lied.<p>

Lying came naturally to her.

She kept her room dark, she didn't want to see her hands. They had stopped bleeding long ago, but the skin was still slightly torn and they were extremely sore. If she punched any harder she would have at least had a hairline fracture.

Letting the bandages drop into her small trash bin, she just stood there, staring into the dark.

She asked herself why?

Why was Shinji constantly bothering her?

Why didn't he treat her like everyone else did?

And why was she letting it happen?

But she wasn't, was she?

She had done everything she possibly could, and yet he persisted, digging and digging even though he didn't know what was at the bottom.

She flexed her hands, this time letting the pain run its course.

No one had ever done that...

What frightened her the most was no small matter.

She hated the third child...

But that hatred was bleeding out, dying.

Four and a half months and he had damaged her, destroyed her.

And then danced on whatever remains of a life she once had.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard several crashes from the room next door, followed by the sound of heavy gasping.

She wrapped her arms around herself.

'Go back asleep Asuka.'

She wouldn't.

"Just go back asleep."

She couldn't give in God dammit.

"Back asleep."

She would never...

"Asleep."

He didn't need her and she didn't need him. She would NOT worry about him.

* * *

><p>Asuka glared at me as she shut the door, making her way to my bed and sitting down next to me, "You're sure making a lot of noise," she grumbled.<p>

I let out a sigh and leaned forward, rubbing my eyes a bit, "A nightmare."

She nodded firmly, inhaling through her nose deeply and breaking her gaze from me to glare at the door she walked through, "Was it something the angel did to you?" Her words had a sharpness to them, implying through her tone that she wanted anything else but to be here at this very moment.

"Yes," I said.

"Was it like what happened in the fleet?"

"Sort of. Why are you here anyways, did I wake you up or something?"

She frowned, her glare waning in intensity, "No, I don't know why I'm here, so don't bother asking."

"I already asked."

She smacked the back of my head, "Shut up."

Again... what happened with the angel came back to me. Did I really fear Asuka?

'I suppose I do. She's always so shut in with herself, always acting so angry and pissed off.'

Asuka looked back to me, "I..." Then she closed her mouth and looked confused for a moment, almost as if she weren't sure of what she wanted to say or do from this point.

The fact that she was in my room in the first place was completely against her normal behavior.

"Asuka?"

"I have to go," she said quickly, standing up.

I stood, reaching out and grabbing her wrist, just as I had when she almost drowned a few months before. I took a deep breath, "Asuka, thanks... for coming to check on me."

My grip loosened, but she didn't pull away. She stood there, mid-stride with my hand holding her wrist. "I wasn't coming to check on you, I was just making sure you weren't dead or something, it'd be annoying."

I smiled, "That's the same thing. You know..."

Before I could go on she wheeled on me, pulling her wrist from me.

Her lips pushed into mine, but it was over before I knew it, and she was stomping out of my room before I could get a word in edgewise.

* * *

><p>Asuka gritted her teeth. She tried to FORCE herself to be angry at him, but she couldn't, not anymore. Instead she became angry at herself. There was really no other person to blame when she stepped back and examined her current situation thoroughly. She was the one who approached him, she was the one who initiated.<p>

Something within her had been shattered when she kissed Shinji for the first time, something she was uncomfortable with losing.

And now there was just a blank space there.

She ended up not being able to sleep that night.

* * *

><p>"The entire second branch of NERV?"<p>

The atmosphere in the briefing room was tense, but not for the reason it usually was. There was no angel attacking, no reason to deploy the Evas, only sheer and utter surprise at what had just been announced to the bridge crew in attendance. Misato had been the one to speak out, something like that was impossible, wasn't it?

Risuko shook her head, "Commander Ikari recently announced it to me. It's my belief that it was sucked into a Dirac Sea."

This was not good news.

The second branch in Germany had been a hop and a skip away from developing a fully functioning Evangelion, Unit 04.

Unit 04 had apparently gone critical and taken the whole of NERV HQ with it. Several trillion yen, along with all the staff on hand, along with Unit 04 and the research on it... all were lost in this disaster.

NERV itself had just taken an insurmountable blow to its credibility within local governments, and that meant they would be getting a call from the Prime Minister of Japan VERY soon.

The screen below their feet lit up, garnering everyone's attention.

On it was a satellite view of the NERV branch in Germany. It looked like a standard military base in the middle of nowhere.

"This is ten seconds before contact," said Ritsuko.

The entire group waited in anticipation as the counter on the corner of the screen dropped to zero.

A small flash in the center of the base was the only indication of what was about to happen. The entire area on the screen was consumed in a red light, and then... static.

"The satellite was destroyed as well?" asked Maya.

"No," said Ritsuko, "The signal was merely lost. It was reestablished ten minutes after the incident, so we can't actually identify what happened to them. All we know is that it had something to do with Unit Four."

Dead silence.

No one had anything to say.

It was much too strange.

* * *

><p>I leaned back in the desk, taking in a deep breath and trying to stay awake through another boring lecture. After Asuka had so graciously kissed me and then stormed out of my room like she had a hellhound on her I couldn't exactly get to sleep. That and I feared I would have another nightmare.<p>

I also asked myself a pretty loaded question.

'What does Asuka want with me?'

It was clear that she was extremely reluctant to open up to me, so what had the past few days been about at all?

I was so caught up in my inner thoughts that it took me a while to notice the two empty desks. I turned to Touji, "Hey," I whispered, "Where are Kensuke and Rei at?"

"Kensuke went to some military convention thing. Rei I don't know."

I nodded and turned back to my small laptop.

A little Call icon was flashing.

I clicked on it.

-A: Forget about everything.

I frowned and my fingers moved on their own.

-S: And how am I supposed to do that?

-A: It's easier than you think.

I tried not to let my mind dwell on how forboding that sentence was, but it wasn't something I could afford to ignore entirely. She had dropped the bait whether she knew it or not, and I took it hook, line, and sinker.

-S: Something in particular you want to forget?

-A: I didn't say anything about me forgetting something.

-S: Yeah, but you talk like it's a piece of cake.

She didn't reply for a full minute almost, and when I looked over at her she was fidgeting to and fro in her seat, as if she were uncomfortable.

-S: Body language can show a person's emotions just as well as their voice or facial expression. You usually don't fidget much Asuka, you're more confident than that.

-A: Shut up and leave me alone, and forget about everything.

-S: So what... just ignore everything I see and go back to making you lunch every morning like nothing is wrong? We continue treating each other like shit and everything is better?

-A: Yes

She shut her laptop and pulled out a paper notebook instead. When the teacher looked at her she smiled and gave a little shrug, "It's going slow, I'll just take notes on paper."

The teacher nodded and continued his lecture.

When the bell rang for lunch Asuka didn't even try to accost me for her food, she simply stood and walked out of the room.

"Hey Shinji, let's eat."

I smiled and waved, "Sorry Touji, gotta go."

"Hey! Wha..."

I was out of the classroom just as fast as Asuka was, and left my stuff laying on the desk. She was already turning the corner when I caught sight of her, and the hallway was getting crowded quickly. I weaved in between passing students, mumbling apologies as I bumped and squeezed through them. Asuka was already halfway down the staircase when I reached the corner, but I was catching up to her.

I jumped down the stairs four at a time and landed right behind her, "Asuka."

She wheeled on me and her hand moved in a flash.

I felt the sting across my cheek and she moved to turn away, but I stepped in front of her, "Asuka, you're sending me mixed signals."

She glared down at me, "You're sending just as many!"

"I..."

I couldn't say anything to that.

"You know what?" She laughed under her breath and threw her arms out, "Screw you Third."

"I'm sorry!" I shouted.

She froze before she turned away, and looked down at me as if she were appraising me. "That's the first time you've apologised to me," she said thoughtfully.

"I guess... I was a little scared of you."

She scoffed, "Scared? Are you joking? I don't have time for this crap!"

"Just listen! I was scared because... because..." It took me a moment to find the right words, "Because I couldn't see you."

"I'm standing right here!"

"No, not like that! I don't know you at all Asuka. Everyone else here I've been able to identify with on at least some level, but you just... completely escape me." I laughed a little, "It reminded me of my uncle, or my father. I wanted to help you but I was too damn scared, so I just treated you like you treated me... like crap."

"And when did you think of this exactly?"

"I didn't think of it..."

She looked confused for a moment, but then her eyes widened, "The angel?"

I nodded, "It wouldn't be much of a stretch. It's not like the other angels, I... I can still feel its blood."

"What do you want from me?"

"Just stop avoiding me, and at least acknowledge that we can't put this past week away like some dark secret."

"Fine!"

"I suppose treating other people with respect would be stretching it."

"Don't push your luck Shinji!"

I sighed and shook my head, "I left your lunch back in the classroom."

"Well then we'd better go back and get it, and it better not be something stupid again!"

"We were freshly stocked."

"Good!"

Asuka walked past me up the stairs, stomping the whole way. I could only sigh in relief. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

* * *

><p>Ritsuko frowned up at the red plug hanging from the ceiling. Writing shined from the steel, 'Dummy 0001'. For some reason the thing gave her the chills. This was one of many chambers adjacent to Terminal Dogma, and just being down here made her uneasy. "So, this is the dummy plug," she muttered.<p>

Gendo nodded, "You sound surprised, you're the one who helped create it."

"Yes, but all I did was sit behind a desk. I didn't actually ever work on it."

"True. It's quite different seeing the actual product of your work. Is it capable?"

Ritsuko shook her head, "No, but it's close. Right now it's just a cheap imprint of Rei's personality while she pilots, nothing more and nothing less. All it would be able to do is fight and destroy."

"I see."

* * *

><p>Misato paced back and forth in the control room, thinking.<p>

Maya frowned, "So wait, America is pawning Unit Three off on us because they're scared?" She leaned forward towards her computer, attempting to drown out the Colonel's rushed footsteps behind her.

Misato never paced; it meant she was nervous about something.

The footsteps stopped, "Yeah, that way if something goes wrong it can be pinned on us. We're the only two here, right Maya? Ritsuko trusts you?"

"Yes, Senpai and I talk a lot."

Misato nodded, looking contemplative for a moment. "If I told you something would you be able to keep it a secret? It's nothing big, but a person in your position normally wouldn't know about it."

"What is it Ma'am?"

"Ritsuko shared something interesting with me the other day. She talked about it like it was nothing, but she never talks about her work, so I knew it was something important. Meet me after work would you?"

* * *

><p>"The Fourth huh?" Ryouji Kaji leaned over his desk, propping his elbows up and staring at the computer screen as if it would change any second. His small loft's office was a room completely blank save for the computer desk. Considering the nature of his tasks he didn't need much else.<p>

Just as he was about to reach for the phone he heard a light knock at the office doorway and chastised himself. He had forgotten about his guest.

"Kaji," she said, "What're you up to?"

That was odd.

She sounded strangely reserved compared to her behavior in the months before. "Nothing important," he said.

She frowned, "Liar. Lemme see."

Despite her strange behavior it appeared she was still overly interested in his daily activities. She wedged past him before he could exit the window on his screen, eying the information before her, "Asuka, don't..."

"Woah..." Her jaw dropped, "THAT'S the fourth child? You gotta be kidding me!"

Kaji sighed and shook his head, "Yeah."

"You haven't told Shinji yet have you?"

"What?"

"Or should I ask if Misato has told Shinji yet?"

"Asuka, are you alright?"

"Oh I'm fine. Just disappointed that the fourth turned out to be someone so... boring I guess. Just to let ya know, I'm probably gonna blab to him. You know how big of a mouth I have after all."

Kaji sighed, "She was supposed to tell him anyways. She found out with Ritsuko. She's probably still worried because of the last angel, and what happened to Shinji."

Asuka couldn't help it; she suddenly remembered the night before, when Shinji woke up from some horrible nightmare. "His synch rate has been totally sloppy," she grumbled, "If he's not careful he'll slow me down."

"Your synch rate hasn't been looking too hot either. Has there been something going on?"

"Don't worry about me! I'll be fine! That idiot is a different story though, he'll totally freak when he hears about this!"

"If you say so."

He hit the exit button and turned off the monitor, walking from the room and leaving a pouting Asuka.

* * *

><p>I adjusted my right shoulder a bit, for some reason it had been flaring up ever since I woke up in the hospital from the last angel.<p>

I had no issue with walking home alone after the synch test, I needed the time to just stay alone with my own thoughts. After that last angel attack I hadn't been able to stop thinking about certain things.

The first of these things was the fact of how fragile my entire life here really was. For the past few months I had been on auto-pilot adjusting to everything around me. I hopped in the Eva, kicked ass, went to school, and tried to figure out why my father had been using me. As I made my way down the streets of the Geofront I came to the realization that this was a stupid way of doing things.

That last angel... something was wrong with it.

Something horrible.

Something I should have noticed before but didn't.

For all I knew the angels had been trying to communicate with me, but for what?

I received my answer a few days ago in the form of nightmare inducing trauma.

I felt a shiver roll down my spine and reached desperately into my pocket, pulling out my SDAT player and setting the earbuds. I let out a sigh of relief when the song began to play.

**25: Beethoven's 9th**

I came to the realization that I was now afraid of the angels, truly, horribly afraid.

What did they want with ADAM?

Why did they attack us?

What did the Evas have to do with everything?

These were questions I should have been asking all along, questions born of fear... fear of the unknown enemy that I had been facing all this time.

Most of all... what was the purpose of my enemies?

The question deeply disturbed me, but I had to think about it, truly think.

My father was second banana compared to what happened to me with the last angel. Merely remembering it brought a cold sweat to my brow.

**26: Moonlight Sonata**

The second thing that had been plaguing my thoughts was Asuka. I didn't know where I stood with her exactly, much less where I should have gone from where I was. She was an extremely difficult person to deal with, and her stubbornness only made that worse.

As my thoughts drifted towards Asuka my blood stopped running cold, and my steps became a bit quicker down the street. I just wanted to get to the train and get back to the surface.

The song stopped and I heard my SDAT player click.

"Hey kiddo."

"Kaji?" I pulled the earphones from my ears and shoved them back into my pocket.

The man grinned, "That's my name."

He looked strange...

In his hand was a medium sized watering can, and he was holding it over...

"Watermelons?" I asked, making my way towards him and looking down at the plants on the side of the road.

"Yep. These are my babies, and this is my secret garden."

I nodded in respect and smiled a bit, "You have a secret garden huh?"

"Asuka tells me you've been having nightmares."

I looked away with a frown, "I... yeah..."

"She's horrible at showing it, but I think she's worried about you."

"You think?"

"It's the best I can do. Hell, SHE probably doesn't even know she's worried about you."

"That's kind of sad," I said softly, kneeling down and examining a nearby patch that had almost completely grown.

"She may not show it to you, but it looks like she's changed a lot."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I can tell you've got a thing for her. I saw the way you were staring at her when I came over for dinner."

I felt the heat rise to my face and decided that the watermelon garden was even more interesting than it was before.

Kaji laughed, "Like I said, you're like me, you love temperamental women."

I smiled a little, "Yeah, I guess I do."

"A lot of people would tell you she's a bad choice."

I scoffed, "Even I told myself that. Not like I can help it though."

"None of us can Shinji."


	18. Episode 18: Dummy Plug

**A/N: Hello again. God I'm so close to getting back to the states, I can practically taste American soil... not that I'd... eat dirt or anything...**

"No, you don't understand you idiot! Here, do this one instead!"

Asuka shoved a paper across the table at me. I looked around the apartment nervously, noticing with a little bit of fear that Misato wasn't here to back me up. I sighed and took the paper, wheeling it around and leaning forward in my chair. Asuka sat across from me, glaring daggers at me. At the top of the sheet was an algebra problem. I put the pencil to the paper and started writing. "How's your kanji?" I asked, scribbling out a number I accidently wrote.

Asuka's glare did not falter, "It's just fine thank you very much. We're not worried about that right now. You need to concentrate on your pathetic math skills."

"What exactly does this have to do with physics?"

"Half of physics is math! And since you suck we're starting at the basics."

"If you're not careful I'll make you go through hiragana and katakana again." It wasn't much of a threat, as the two were easy to memorize and master. Asuka had an excuse for her ineptitude, and I didn't.

Even a good chunk of Japanese schoolchildren had trouble memorizing all their Kanji, and Asuka came from a foreign country. The fact that she knew Japanese at all, and the fact that she spoke it with an extremely unnoticeable accent, was in itself amazing. "Who taught you?" I asked.

"What are you blabbing about now Shinji?"

"Japanese, who taught you?"

"I had a bunch of tutors growing up and I went through a few college classes, two of them were English and Japanese! My mother helped too! Why do you need to know?"

"Wait, you've been through college?"

We were only in our last year of middle school!

"Only college, not a university. I'm waiting until after High School to do the big stuff. Speaking of, your school system here is the strangest... Hey wait a minute! You're just trying to pull a fast one on me! Finish that problem!"

I smirked and held up the paper, "All done."

She snatched it from me and I saw her eyes speed over it. When she lowered it her glare had intensified a little bit.

"As I was saying!" she snapped, "Your school system is weird, normally we'd be out of middle school by now, and High School is supposed to be four years, not three... and we're supposed to have two day weekends!"

I laughed. It was actually kind of... endearing when she whined about little stuff like this, "You're picky about pretty much everything aren't you?"

Her eyes narrowed, "What's that supposed to..."

"Hey guys," said Misato, waving as she walked out of her room in full uniform, "What are you up to?"

"Studying," said Asuka, cutting me off when I opened my mouth to say something that had nothing to do with academics.

"Well I gotta head into work today. We're going overseas for some big powow for the day, and when I get back we're testing out Unit Three."

Asuka suddenly looked a bit stiff.

"Unit Three huh? Who's the pilot?" I asked.

An uncomfortable silence filled the air, "The pilot is um..." Misato looked to the side and down, fidgeting her feet.

Before Misato could continue the doorbell rang, "Oh, there's Kaji. He'll be taking care of you two while I'm gone so make sure to be on good behavior."

Asuka did not jump into the air and cheer as I expected her to, and Misato did not bring up what I had asked again. She said goodbye and opened the door for Kaji, making her way past him.

I suddenly found it a little hard to breathe.

Asuka stood from the table, "Shinji!"

Kaji looked at me and raised an eyebrow, closing the door behind him.

Asuka marched around the table, grabbed my shirt collar, and dragged me towards her room, "We need to talk!"

"Don't hold back on my account," said Kaji with a laugh.

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 18: Dummy Plug**

"I'll try to be frank about this." Touji leaned forward in the chair by his sister's hospital bed.

"You're doing something aren't you?" she asked softly, turning her head towards him, "That's why I'm getting transferred isn't it?"

Touji nodded, running a hand through his hair and letting out a sigh. "You'll be taken care of, and you won't have to worry anymore. The doctor says with the right treatment and therapy, you'll be back to normal in no time, and I didn't want to take the risk of you losing anything."

His little sister smiled.

He knew better than to let her down, and she knew better than to ask exactly what he was doing. She knew it was dangerous or something he was unsure about, anything else and he would have had a big smile on his face and a lilt to his voice when he told her. "I'm okay onii-chan, but promise you won't get hurt."

Despite being two years younger she was able to read him like a book. Touji believed that partly had to do with the fact that he was horrible at keeping his emotions in check, but he was alright with that.

"I'll be fine, I promise."

He wasn't sure if it was a promise he could keep, not after seeing what Shinji had done since he'd been here.

If he was honest with himself...

'I'm jealous. I don't know if I could be that brave... but I have to try.'

* * *

><p>She fidgeted with her hands, looking nervously around the train station as she stepped from the platform. Once more she pulled the map from her pocket and unfolded it, checking over it yet again to make doubly sure.<p>

The problem was that she wasn't sure.

It was her first time traveling on her own and her mother was probably searching frantically for her.

She HAD left a note and stated very clearly that she was not in any way running away from home. She knew those words would barely comfort her mother, but they had to be written, otherwise her mother would think she did not do a good enough job with raising her.

She did not want her mother thinking that at all.

Her shoulder was sore from carrying the bag and she hadn't eaten anything since the last stop.

"Where are you headed little lady?"

She almost jumped out of her skin.

As the only person that had gotten off at this stop she stood out like a sore thumb, so a concerned station worker in coveralls had decided to check on her, "Are you lost? Can't find your parents?"

The tone of his voice, the way he carried himself, the worried look on his face...

He thought she didn't belong here, and he meant well.

She smiled, "No um... not lost, just confused." She reached into her bag and pulled out a set of tickets and some yen, "I need a place to stay."

"Do you have your parents' permission to be travelling on your own?"

"Yes," she said instantly, "They gave me the yen, and even signed a paper."

A half-lie.

"Where are you trying to go?"

"Tokyo 3."

"You could have slept on the train."

"The um... the station man said I could get off and start my trip again tomorrow. I haven't eaten and I don't like the food on long trips."

And that was just a lie. She had planned this trip out to the tee so her mother wouldn't be able to track her down. A three day excursion... and some extra time to find him when she got there, only spending cash and never giving her real name.

She was smart.

"I think I'm gonna have to call your parents, what's your number miss?"

But not smart enough.

She bolted.

"H... Hey! Get back here!"

* * *

><p>"Touji?"<p>

"Shhh!" Asuka lurched forward, clamping a hand over my mouth, "Obviously they don't want you to know you idiot, otherwise they would've brought it up already. Kaji is being stupid and wants Misato to tell you, but every time she tries she clamps up."

I looked around Asuka's room and sighed a bit. I backed up to her bed and sat on it. She sent me a glare but sat down next to me anyways. I brought a hand to my forehead, "So... he was selected like we were?"

"As far as I know he volunteered. His little sister would get better healthcare, so it makes sense."

I fell onto my back and stared at the ceiling.

"Get off of my bed."

"No way, it's comfortable here. You... you think he's nervous?"

She scoffed, "And how did you feel when you first piloted an Eva Mr. Bigshot?"

"Scared."

"Oh yeah?"

"That went away after a while, but it came back recently. I've been taking it lightly." I paused, waiting for her to say something, when she didn't I let out a sigh, "It's no joke. I mean, you, me, and Rei, we shouldn't even be doing this stuff should we? That's what soldiers are for. Doesn't that seem strange to you?"

She fell back as well, grabbing the pillow and bringing it to her chest, "What's so strange about it? They already told us children are the only ones who can pilot the Evas."

"See? Right there. That's what's weird about it. Why are we the only ones who can pilot the Evas? Why can't regular soldiers train in and synch with them. For that matter, why is Rei the only one that can synch with all of them? I tried piloting Zero and it went crazy."

Her frown deepened, and the conversation died out. We laid there next to each other for what felt like hours. "Shinji?" Her grip tightened on the pillow.

"Yeah?"

She opened her mouth as if to say something, then stopped, "Nothing... never mind."

She didn't tell me to leave.

We just welcomed the silence.

It was comfortable.

It felt... natural to me.

We didn't move an inch until Kaji called us out for dinner.

* * *

><p>I laid out the mattress on the floor of the common room and Kaji mirrored my actions. I didn't feel like sleeping in a cramped up room that night, and Misato wouldn't be back until noon the next day. "So, is there something going on after all?" asked Kaji, jerking his head towards Asuka's room.<p>

I frowned and straightened out the roll-out with my feet, "I still don't know."

Kaji smirked, "Isn't that half the fun?"

I let out a laugh as I tucked myself in and pushed my head into the pillow, "Not really. I mean... I'd like to think I'm making progress, but I don't know half of what she's thinking the entire time."

Kaji laid down, throwing a small blanket over his waist and crossing his hands behind his head, "That sounds familiar. Did you know that the kanji for woman originally means 'far away'? It makes sense, people are far away from each other, especially women, and no matter how hard we try we can't close that distance, can't understand each other. Trying to understand other people just brings pain, isn't that right Shinji?"

I saw my father... I saw my uncle... I saw Asuka.

"So the best we can do is live our lives pretending."

"That's not true," I mumbled.

He turned his head to me and raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"We may never be able to fully understand each other, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. Because without other people... what would the world be? I realized a long time ago that being lonely... it felt a lot worse than the pain that came with knowing other people. My father, my uncle, I don't think I'll ever understand them no matter how hard I try. Asuka I don't know, but I think it's been better lately, and there are others. My friends from school, and I may not know a lot about Rei, but we're there for each other."

Silence thickened the air in the room.

Then...

Kaji laughed. It was a deep, thick, hearty laugh. I then realized I had yet to hear such a sound come from him. It felt like an eternity had passed before he calmed down.

I heard something smack against the wall of Asuka's room, "Keep it down in there, can't a girl get some sleep?" she shouted.

Kaji grinned. It wasn't a smirk or a sneer, it was a full blown grin, "You sure deal with grief in a weird way kid."

"Grief?"

"Your mom dies, then your dad abandons you. That's something that breaks people at an early age like that."

_**"Aunty... Aunty Sakuya!"**_

"I think I am."

"What?"

"Broken."

He went silent after that, and before long we had both fallen asleep.

* * *

><p>"Wake up!"<p>

Something soft hit my forehead, jarring my from my sleep. I heard the loudspeakers of the city blaring emergency alarms. They stopped suddenly, only to be replaced by an equally loud female voice, "Alert, alert, please make your way to the nearest emergency shelter!"

I wormed out of the roll-out as fast as I could, a pair of clothes landed in my arm, courtesy of Asuka, "Get dressed, Kaji is waiting in the car!"

Kaji? Didn't Misato usually drive us to NERV in an angel attack?

* * *

><p>"The angel has taken over the Eva and gone on a rampage," said Ritsuko. "The test site was decimated, and there were some casualties."<p>

Several images flashed across the briefing room's screen, all of the same black Eva, making its way slowly towards Tokyo 3 from the test site. It looked like a demon, arms clenching as it walked, stomping through tanks and artillery. Its eyes were red.

I gritted my teeth and stepped up in front of Rei and Asuka, "Where's Misato?"

Ritsuko paused, and then sighed, "Misato is fine, she only had a few broken ribs. Kaji is picking her up right now."

I let out a breath of relief and Ritsuko continued on. It was all about how dangerous the angel was, with barely even a plan to stop it. The entire time I had a nagging thought...

If Misato wasn't there then what was the plan?

* * *

><p><em>"Unit Zero in position."<em>

"Unit One in position."

_"Unit Two in position."_

We were spread apart, and I didn't like it one bit. Unit Three was approaching from the west and it was steamrolling anything that stood in its path. If this Eva was anything like ours we needed to work together. I was no command officer but the last thing to be done in this situation was spread us apart.

We should have been waiting in ambush for Eva Three as a squad, and take it down as such.

_"Unit Three is approaching."_

I shifted my weight to my right foot. My grip tightened around the machine gun. "Rei, do you see it?"

_"Yes, it's walking towards me. I will attack as it passes."_

"Be careful."

_"I will."_

The comm link with Rei shut and an explosion sounded in the distance. "Rei? Rei!"

_"Shinji!"_ shouted Asuka.

I moved.

_"Unit One, hold position!"_

The winding mountainside street that lead away from Tokyo 3 was hardly enough to accomodate an Eva, but I managed. Asuka was positioned in a small evacuated community, another bad call.

Was Ritsuko making these calls?

_"Unit one, you are disobeying a direct order!"_

This time the voice was my father's, he sounded angry, but it rang hollow in my ears.

The community was adjacent to the mountains and a large forested area, Asuka's ambush point had been from that forest. I saw her grappling with Unit Three.

"I'm moving in!"

The line was silent for a moment, and then my father spoke again, _"Disable Unit Three by any means necessary."_

My muscles tightened...

And I pounced.

Unit Three dropped the limp red mech and turned towards me without a moments delay, holding its arms out as I descended upon it. It let out an inhuman groan and its arms shifted shape. The fingers on the Eva's hands merged together, forming a sharpened end.

As if they were tentacles the arms extended.

I landed ten yards away from the possessed mech.

One blade flew past my vision, and the other pierced my shoulder. LCL burst forth from the wound, and I gritted my teeth against the pain.

Touji was in that thing.

Asuka and Rei had been hurt.

I was infuriated.

Everything went red and I lost control, screaming at the top of my lungs. I reached up and grabbed the tentacle that had pierced my shoulder, letting out a roar of unbridled fury.

_"Unit One's synch rate just skyrocketed. It's at two hundred and thirty percent!"_

I pulled the thing out of my shoulder, still gripping it tightly, and yanked it back, causing Unit Three to stumble over itself.

Its back was exposed.

I grabbed it by the throat and squeezed, pulling it down to the ground with me. It fell face first with me on top of it. I reached down for the plug, prepared to dislodge Touji from the monstrosity...

And my entire body went stiff.

My Eva had been frozen, Unit Three struggling and hissing underneath its weight.

_"Nerve connection successfully severed,"_ mumbled Makoto.

Gendo nodded, leaning forward,_ "Good, activate the dummy plug."_

"Father! What are you doing? I was winning!"

_"You disobeyed two orders. I told you to destroy it at any cost, the pilot's life comes second."_

"What the FUCK is wrong with you?"

* * *

><p>Ritsuko fidgeted, "It's still in the test phase, the personality hasn't been completely established yet."<p>

"Can it fight?"

"I..."

"Can it fight?"

She hesitated, "Y... yes."

"Then that is all we need, now activate the dummy plug."

* * *

><p>Eva One jerked, and then started to move. The hand that I had sent to grab the plug closed into a fist, moved to Unit Three's head, and then descended.<p>

"NO!"

Again and again it pounded, until the skull was nothing but paste.

It tore the arms from their sockets.

Reached in and ripped out the wiring and guts and bone.

Crunch...

Crunch...

Splat...

"STOP IT! GOD DAMMIT STOP! THIS IS MY EVA!"

It felt like someone was controlling me.

A puppeteer.

Eva One reached down to the plug...

And squeezed.

Part of me died.

"TOUJIIIIII!"


	19. Episode 19: Beast

**A/N: Shit was bound to go wrong eventually eh?**

**Neon genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 19: Beast**

I don't even remember crying. My entire body felt numb, and I remember being surprised that I could move at all, much less exit the Eva and step down onto the docks.

Then I saw him.

Everything went red, and I felt arms holding me back, "I'll kill you! You're not my father! I'll fuckin' kill you!"

He simply turned around and walked away, and I was dragged down an unfamiliar and dark hallway, screaming and raging until my throat was sore and I couldn't take the pain anymore. I was tossed into a small, isolated room with no light. I hit the ground hard and heard a door shut behind me, locking from the outside.

I managed to get on my feet and pound at the door for a while, but I was still unable to scream, not that it would have helped. I turned, pushing my back against the door and slumping down until I hit the ground.

Then I tucked my knees to myself.

I could remember crying that time.

* * *

><p>"Pilot Shinji Ikari has been put under custody pending further investigation. He has shown several signs of turning against NERV, and has even threatened me."<p>

The old men all looked at each other wearily, this was an unexpected development, "Will this interfere with the plan?"

Gendo shook his head, leaning forward and smirking, "Not at all. He'll be released when I need him again."

01 nodded firmly, "I see, the next angel is due soon, is it not?"

Gendo nodded firmly, "Yes."

"We look forward to hearing your report Commander Ikari," said 05, "Try not to be as vague this time, we can hardly afford to be at each others' throats at this point."

Humanity's last chance would come soon.

Gendo needed to prepare, and his own son would not stand between him and his goal.

The room darkened.

The Commander sat there for a while longer, contemplating these new developments. Eventually Kouzo came to retrieve him.

Even walking down the halls of NERV did not interrupt his musing.

* * *

><p>Kaji sighed and leaned back in his seat, fiddling with the glass of water. Misato's apartment was dead quiet. Asuka sat across from him at the table with her own glass of water; if she gripped it any tighter Kaji was afraid it would shatter. He could tell her nerves were a mess, she hadn't said a word since Shinji had been 'arrested' by NERV. Technically they had no authority to arrest him.<p>

Technically he was a civilian.

Not a contractor for the military or NERV.

Kaji gritted his teeth... Gendo was never a person who would let technicalities get in the way of something he wanted done. NERV would have never existed in the first place if he was.

"That idiot," mumbled Asuka, "he should have just stayed put."

Kaji sighed, he had a feeling he knew exactly why Shinji hadn't stayed put. The reason was sitting in front of him at that moment, "Asuka, men are stupid."

She set her glass of water on the table, still untouched and losing its chill, "It's his fault, he didn't follow the plan at all. Of course he got locked up if he's gonna go around disobeying orders!"

Her words were loud, but completely empty of any actual anger. Asuka had changed, and it was glaring. One would have to be completely blind to not see how this was affecting her, "I'm sure he'll be fine," said Kaji, "He's been in worse situations before. Are you worried?"

"Like hell!"

"It would make sense if you were."

She went silent at that and Kaji took a gulp from the water.

Misato would be getting discharged soon. He would let her handle this, difficult situations like this were out of his league.

* * *

><p>Maya's heart was going a mile a second. She wasn't some super spy, and what Misato had asked her to do was completely insane. She was just a comm jocky, she had never even been down in Terminal Dogma before. Technically she had access to where she was going because she worked with the Evas, but it was still nerve wracking.<p>

She had no discernable reason to be down there, what would she tell someone if she got caught?

'Oh I was just going for a walk and ended up down here.'

Right...

Then again, she had a feeling that wouldn't be happening. She wasn't going too deep as she only held limited access, and no one ever came down into the darkest area of the base anyways.

As she walked down the hall she could see why people stayed away from it.

Not only was it completely dark, but there was something oppressive about the air, like something horrible happened down there.

Like it was haunted.

Makoto would probably laugh at her for thinking that way. The man only practiced in hard facts.

The hallway gave to the right and she followed it, clutching her ID in her right hand like it was a lifeline.

Get in, grab what she needed, get out...

Simple.

She could barely make out the numbers on the hallways doors. They had been faded with age and disuse.

100.

101.

102.

103.

She reached a dead end after a while. A single door sat to her right with no number, either that or it had been completely faded away.

She took a deep breath and stepped forward, grasping the door handle and pushing it down.

She could tell it hadn't been opened in a long time from the sheer noise the hinges made. The oppressive air thickened, but so did her resolve, she had come this far, what was the point in running away now?

The room was still lit, which was probably what scared her the most. What if there were cameras in there? She shook her head quickly and stepped past the threshold. It was completely empty save for a small abandoned desk with an old computer monitor sitting on top of it.

This made her job easier, one place to search.

She stepped forward quickly, trying to cast out the gnawing feeling in her gut as she pulled out the drawers of the desk. It was the large filing drawer on the bottom that she finally found what she needed.

She grinned and pulled out the file, flipping through it.

Now she just needed to...

Her entire being froze when she heard the door slam behind her.

"Hello Maya, what are you doing down here?"

Maya wheeled around, already feeling the blood drain from her face, "Sen... pai?"

* * *

><p>The girl stopped about a mile out to catch her breath. She had always been a fast runner, and the pudgy man in the station uniform had no chance of catching her. She found herself on the highway near the outskirts of Tokyo 3, surrounded by farm land. She had run through a small town next to the station, but the worker had still been chasing her there and it was too risky to stop in a populated area.<p>

She looked up and noticed a sign.

She frowned.

'Tokyo 3- 100 KM'

More than thirty miles.

With a slight hesitation in her step she began to walk. She had some snack food and some water in her bag, and she didn't come this far to back out now. Making up an excuse to herself and turning herself into the station attendant would be against everything she stood for.

She had made a promise, and she would see it through.

After about twenty paces she heard a loud whistle to her left.

It was a man on one of the farm steads. She considered running again, but there was no reason to yet, so she made her way off of the road and towards the man, who was standing on the edge of his field.

"You lost little girl?"

That question was becoming extremely familiar as of late, "No," she said, "Just frustrated. I missed my last train and I don't wanna wait for another so I'm walking."

"Only places you're gonna walk on this road is into town or towards Tokyo 3, and you ain't walking towards town. Tokyo is thirty miles away girl."

"I know." She ran a hand through her black hair and let out a sigh, "But I promised him."

"Boyfriend?"

"Brother," she said firmly, "Close to one as I can get anyways."

"You look famished, come inside and get something to eat, then we can send you on your way, hell maybe we'll even give you a ride."

"Thank you, Mister...?"

"Junpei... I run this farm. Half of our produce goes to Tokyo 3 and the other half stays with us. Trying to get things back to normal ever since the Second Impact, been going pretty well so far aside from the angel attacks."

She nodded and followed him through his fields, back to his house.

"So that's what brought you here, a promise?" he asked.

"Yes, it means a lot to me. The trip hasn't exactly been comfortable."

"I take it your parents don't know you're out here?" She clamped her mouth shut and he laughed, "Don't worry, I'm not turning you in girl, as long as you intend on returning home."

"I do, but I have to do this first."

"That's good to hear. You got folks back home?"

"Just my mom. My dad... he's gone."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be. It was a long time ago, and my mom is great."

"Sure is risky coming out here on your own though, what made you decide to do that?"

"I tried asking my mom over and over again. Every single time she said no I just got more and more fed up with it. She was working overtime, so I stole her card, got some tickets and some cash. I left a note next to her card on the counter, letting her know she could ground me when I got back and that I would pay her back."

The man laughed, "You're a good kid, bet she's worried sick about you though."

"She's probably pulling her hair out trying to find me," she said with a smile, "But that's why I love her. I'm calling her right away when I'm done here, I don't want her to worry any longer than she has to."

They finally reached the house and the man opened the door for her with a grin.

She was greeted immediately by two happy golden dogs sprinting up to her and jumping up to her waist, just begging to be pet. She giggled and obliged them.

"Alright you two calm down," said the man with a laugh, pulling them both from the helpless and giggling girl. "Let's get you some food girl."

* * *

><p>I paced.<p>

I paced until my feet hurt.

I paced for hours.

There was nothing else I could do.

I was horribly hungry.

I was angry.

Most of all I just wanted to get out.

The room was horribly cramped and dark, and made me feel like I was in isolation. Knowing Gendo that was exactly what was intended. It was wrong, no matter what justification he tried to put towards his actions it was WRONG.

I didn't even know if Touji was still alive, and that ate away at my mind like a parasite. No one had said anything.

I saw red...

I honestly wanted to kill him.

And then I was in this cell.

This lonely cell that was driving me mad second after second after SECOND.

Was Touji alive?

Was Asuka alright?

Did Misato know where I was?

Would I just be left here to rot?

I kicked the door and screamed at the top of my lungs out of sheer anger and hatred.

My father had abandoned me...

Again...

* * *

><p>"Blue pattern detected!" shouted an officer.<p>

Makoto could feel the blood drain from his face and immidiately set his hands over his console, "Shit, why now? It's only been a day! Get Colonel Katsuragi on the line!"

The door to the command room slid open, and in walked Misato, left arm in a sling, "No need, I had them discharge me a bit early, what's the situation?"

"It's already within the geofront and headed this way!"

Misato's eyes widened, "It's what? What's the status on the pilots?"

"Both Rei Ayanami and Asuka Sohryu are ready to go. They were performing a synch test and are still on the premises."

"What about Shinji?"

"He's in solitary confinement Ma'am!" shouted an officer, standing up from his post and facing her at attention.

"He's WHAT? What the hell is going on in this place, get down there and retrieve the pilot of Unit One NOW!"

"B... but the Commander ordered..."

Misato gritted her teeth. A couple of months ago she would never have gone against Gendo Ikari's orders. It was simply a part of her job. Follow orders... get paid.

Now?

"Fuck the Commander! Look at what's happening! Not to mention imprisoning a minor who isn't even a part of NERV! I'll go down there and get him my damn self!"

Misato wheeled around on her heel, storming out of the control room with a string of curses on her breath.

She was getting a demotion for this, but she didn't rightly care about something like that.

Shinji had been locked away.

She didn't know for what, but she didn't care much about that either.

The officer she had left in her wake went weak in the knees and collapsed into his chair.

Makoto let out a low whistle, "The Colonel can be really scary when she wants to be."

* * *

><p>My eyes snapped open.<p>

"Shinji? Shinji are you in there?"

I pushed myself up, dusting off my back and running to the door, "Misato, is that you?"

The door flew open. If it did so any faster it would've probably been busted off the hinges. Misato was inside in an instant, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug, "God, Shinji what happened?"

"That's my question. What happened to Touji?"

"He's in the hospital," she said softly, "A few of his ribs were cracked and both his legs were broken. The plug he was in was half crushed."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Touji was going to be alright.

"We can't be worrying about other things right now, there's an angel attacking and we have to get you to Unit One, Rei and Asuka are already out fighting."

I nodded and followed her down the hallway.

* * *

><p>"Dammit! It's moving to fast!"<p>

The creature had a broad top, and its core was most likely in the center mass. The problem was that its thin legs were propelling it away from them faster than they could attack, and its thin, tendril-like arms were all over the place.

Asuka gritted her teeth, grasping the progressive knife like it was a lifeline. Rei was calm, so calm that it made her nervous.

_"We should not attempt to approach it."_

"You don't think I know that Wondergirl?" she shouted.

_"Panicking is not advisable, it appears this angel is rather adept at tearing through things, and we do not know how strong its AT field is."_

"So what the hell do we do?"

_"We wait."_

Another flash of the angel on her view screen and everything went to static for a split second.

She felt a slight stinging pain roll up her spine and the five minute timer popped up on her screen, indicating that the umbilical cable had been cut, "Well so much for that plan! What do you suggest we do now?"

_"As I said before, we wait."_ Rei moved deftly, barely blocking an incoming blow from one of the creatures tendrils with her knife.

"For what?" shouted Asuka.

_"We will defeat it as a unit."_

"You want to wait for the idiot?"

_"It is a better course of action than charging in blindly... Asuka..."_

Asuka blinked, did she just...

* * *

><p>My grip tightened on the butterfly controls of Unit One.<p>

I tried not to let what happened last time bother me. Touji was alright, and I would deal with my father one way or another, but that moment...

That moment was what was important.

I was scared...

I felt fear because of the angel that had consumed me. I felt fear because of the angel that nearly lead to my friend dying, but Asuka and Rei were waiting on me, and that was enough.

_"Nerve connections established, approaching the absolute border!"_

My knuckles started to turn white.

I could hardly breathe.

_"EVA LAUNCH!"_

The familiar lurch hit me in the next second, and Eva 01 was sent careening towards the surface. I gritted my teeth against the force.

**Just one more day.**

The Eva jerked once more to indicate the stop, and I was out of the docks faster than I had ever moved before, grabbing a machine gun on the way.

_"The angel is moving in,"_ said Misato, _"We don't know its capabilities, but it's fast."_

They weren't too far away, and it frightened me that an angel had come so close to penetrating NERV headquarters. The large grass field had been torn asunder by the battle so far, along with a few trees. I leveled my machine gun at the angel and pulled the trigger just as it rushed for Asuka, and it turned its attention to me faster than I could blink.

_"Do not hesitate,"_ said Rei.

She moved in less than a second, a blue blur behind the angel, sinking her knife into its back.

Asuka was next, jumping forward and reaching around the angel, opting to put hers into its 'chest'.

I opened fire again, slowly moving forward.

The bullets reflected off the AT field.

I cursed under my breath and tossed the gun aside, hitting the red button and deploying my progressive knife.

I yanked it out and charged just as Asuka drug her knife through the angel's flesh.

The angel screamed bloody murder, blue blood sprouting forth like a fountain, landing on what remained of the grass at its feet.

We all moved to execute the angel quickly, efficiently, like a hive-mind.

It was almost terrifying to me the way we moved.

Remnants of the synch training...

My knife sunk into the creature's center mass and hit something solid, "I found the core!"

Asuka and Rei grabbed the creature's back, pulling it down with me landing on top of it.

I dug in with the knife, using all my strength to put on as much pressure as I could.

And then it all stopped.

_"Shinji!"_

It was Asuka who screamed.

I felt it go through my chest and my grip on the knife went limp.

Asuka screamed bloody murder, pounding at the angel's face over and over again. _"NO!"_ she shouted, _"No not again!"_

The angel leapt up, casting aside Rei and Asuka as if they were rag dolls and tackling me to the ground, tendril still piercing my chest.

It roared in fury and its razor sharp tendrils descended once again.

This time it took my entire left arm.

I screamed.

_"Cut nerve connections!"_ shouted Misato.

_"I can't! The entire thing is going haywire!"_

My synch level plummeted.

The pain faded a small amount, but I could still feel it.

My entire arm... gone.

I looked down and it was still there, but it might as well have been gone for all that I could do with it.

The angel descended on me further.

I felt my pulse quicken.

I could hear the sound of my own heart hammering my chest as if it were trying to get out.

When had it gone wrong?

We had done everything perfectly.

The angel was done for...

Yet it still lived, and I was about to die.

* * *

><p>Gendo Ikari sighed, clasping his hands tightly together, "The Dead Sea Scrolls cannot be averted through such forward methods." He shut off the feed to the control room and leaned back in his desk chair.<p>

* * *

><p>"Shin-chan, do you remember when we met?"<p>

"What's this about?"

"It's just... you're leaving soon, and we won't see each other for a while. I was wondering if you remembered."

"Of course I do. You already know you were pretty much my first friend."

She giggled, "Oh c'mon, you weren't that bad, you just needed some work."

"Haru, do you think life will get any easier?"

Haru frowned, "I don't know, but even if it doesn't I don't see why you can't deal with it in a way that makes things better for you. My mom always tells me we can't control things all the time, but it's how we deal with things that we can't control that make us who we are."

**Shinji.**

**Shinji...**

**I'm so sorry.**

**Forgive your idiot mother...**

* * *

><p>The pain vanished instantly.<p>

My eyes snapped opened and Eva 01 moved on its own.

It reached up to grasp the tendril that had impaled it and roared.

It was no longer under my control.

It was no longer an extension of my body.

My left arm convulsed...

I looked down and my eyes widened.

"What... the..."

_"Eva One just regenerated its entire arm."_

The left arm of the Eva... it looked... human...

I felt my stomach churn.

Suddenly, the LCL smelled like blood.

I felt a shiver run down my spine.

Eva 01 pulled the tendril and grasped the creature as it came down on top of it, rolling to the side to switch positions.

The jaw split and it let out another roar.

I closed my eyes when it began to dig through the wound in the angel, tearing out the insides and consuming the flesh.

_"My God... it's... it's eating the angel."_

_"Synch is at three hundred percent and rising! This isn't good!"_

I felt something lurch...

_"It's eating the core! It's consuming the S2 Organ!"_

_"Four hundred percent synchronization!"_

Everything went black.

The last thing I heard was Asuka.

**_"Shinji!"_**


	20. Episode 20: Thirty Days

**A/N: I really shouldn't be juggling three fics, it's not good for my sleeping habits. Oh and as for Mjolnir, you asked me why I'm overseas, I'm US Air Force, I'm deployed right now. It helps to know ranking structure and other things when writing military crap, and it REALLY helps with my Nanoha fic.**

**BTW, this chapter is going to answer some questions and raise new ones that will be answered later... maybe.**

**All those little deviations you guys have been noticing are about to start having growth spurts.**

**Episode 20: Thirty Days**

This was...

_**"Remember, you didn't see anything!"**_

"Shinji... Shinji it's time to wake up."

My eyes opened slowly, and I was greeted with the sight of a familiar ceiling. Above me was a woman with black hair and a warm smile. The small apartment was an uncomfortable place unless she was there.

"It's time to get ready for school."

I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes, letting out a yawn.

She laughed, "C'mon sleepy-head, it's not good to stay in bed so long."

I followed her out into the kitchen.

This all seemed strange somehow.

I couldn't remember any of this.

I sat down at our small dining table and she set a small bowl of cereal in front of me, smiling the whole time. As I started to eat she packed all my notebooks, pencils, and crayons in a small back pack.

Before I knew it I was out the door and on my way to school.

"Bye auntie Sakuya!" I shouted.

This couldn't have been right.

There was no way...

My brain tried futilely to understand what was happening right now. Was I that little kid? Was that the aunt who had abandoned me?

A flash, and I was back in my 'home'.

I was tucked in for sleep, and she was sitting in a small chair at my bedside with a book in her hands. I could see her mouth moving, but I couldn't hear what was coming from it.

I could tell clearly that I was struggling to stay awake.

I couldn't remember bedtime stories like this.

I couldn't remember her smiling warmly at me.

A few weeks...

A few weeks was all it took for her to abandon me. She and my uncle had a huge argument, and she stormed out of the house and never came back.

I was 'raised' by my uncle until the day I left for Tokyo 3.

But really... I was no better off in Tokyo than I was in that shoddy old apartment with my alcoholic uncle.

My father hated my guts and nearly killed one of my friends.

I had to do a soldier's job when I just wanted a normal life.

Really... was my life even worth anything in the end?

The angel had been right.

I covered up my own faults by understanding the people around me. I had always worn that mask, and if I lived on I would probably continue wearing it. There was no avoiding that.

Still...

When I saw my aunt reading me a bedtime story with that warm smile I couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic.

* * *

><p>Misato couldn't look away from the display screen.<p>

Eva 01 reached up to the sky and let out the roar of a monster, something that was not of this world. She had always known the Evas were different, the pinnacle of advanced technology. There was nothing like them in any military; they were special.

Just like the children she sought to protect.

The three of them were strong.

Stronger than her, and at such a fragile age.

They were amazing pilots, and it didn't take long for Misato to see Asuka opening up to Shinji.

When the pilot of Unit 02 screamed Shinji's name Misato felt something inside of her break.

The purple armor of Eva 01 shattered as if it were paper, revealing the muscle, ligaments, and skin fragments underneath.

The angel's blood and guts were still dripping from its maw.

Her stomach churned, and she swallowed the bile that crept up her throat.

"The pilot's life signs have ceased!" shouted Makoto, "His mental signature is still strong but... he's disappeared!"

Misato couldn't breathe, "Shin... ji."

She saw her father, pushing her out to sea in a test plug as one final sacrifice so his little girl would be safe.

This time she couldn't hold back the tears.

They were quiet things.

She didn't scream out, she didn't wail.

She just let them fall down her cheeks.

* * *

><p>"Ikari has gone too far, allowing the constraints on Unit One to be cast aside, not to mention the danger of it consuming an S2 organ."<p>

The four other council members remained silent, including the one at the 'head', 01.

"We couldn't predict this would happen, even with all our writings and plans. We will have to adjust accordingly."

"Yes, but we should do so while keeping Ikari on a tight leash. He has allowed enough deviations, and the plan is not his to control."

"He is merely a tool. He should know his place."

"His place appears to be making a mockery of us."

"This won't hinder anything," mumbled 01, "We continue on, but as Zero Four said, we should be cautious of Ikari's movements. We can no longer predict what he will do, and we cannot tolerate any further hinderance."

**-The First Day-**

"Where is Maya?" shouted Misato.

Ritsuko turned away from Eva 01 to face the raging woman that had just entered the dock.

The Eva hovered over them like some alien creature. It was wrapped in bandages from its chest to its skull, and pinned down to the docks with several locks. Its mouth bore teeth, like a grotesque grin, and a single green eye was uncovered, looming down at them.

"Misato?"

The tactical officer grabbed Ritsuko's collar and shook her violently, "If you don't start talking right now I can't promise you this will end peacefully!"

"Misato, calm down, please."

"Calm?" she shouted, "Why the fuck should I be calm? You're the one who built this fuckin' thing! You said Shinji's life is still in there so get him out! And when you do that you better damn well tell me where Maya is or so help me I will break you!"

Ritsuko reached up and laid her hands gently on the one's pushing into her neck. "We can't talk here," she said softly, "Meet me in the upper city for lunch. I know it's a lot to ask, but trust me Misato."

* * *

><p>The place they were meeting was about as far away from NERV as one could get. It was a corner cafe, and didn't seem to be too busy at the moment.<p>

Ritsuko was sitting at one of the outdoor tables, menu under her hands.

It looked like she already ordered.

Misato moved cautiously.

She didn't feel very safe going out there. In her eyes Ritsuko had betrayed her...

And just after she thought things were getting back to normal between them.

When she was sure there were no NERV agents around she made her way briskly to the table.

Ritsuko smiled at her as she sat down.

This only served to infuriate her further, "Talk."

Ritsuko set the menu aside and sighed, her smile vanishing. "I caught Maya down in Terminal Dogma before the angel attack. She was digging through some old files." Ritsuko reached down below her chair, and it was only then that Misato noticed that bag at the blonde's feet. She came back up with a manilla folder, "Files that, if I'm not mistaken, you told her to get for you and Kaji."

"Miss..." A waitress walked briskly from the restaurant, setting down a large trey of food and serving them both up.

It was clearly a place that offered foreign foods, and it appeared that Ritsuko had ordered pasta for the both of them. "I took the liberty," she said, "I hope you don't mind."

"Cut to the chase Ritsuko, where is Maya?"

"She's safe. I'm afraid I can't give you that information. Either one of us could be bugged, no matter how much we check, and I don't want to take that risk."

"So why call me out here?"

Ritsuko set the folder on the table, reaching forward and taking a sip from her glass of water before setting it back down, "Several reasons, the first being an apology."

"You're not one for apologies."

Ritsuko smiled, "So that obviously means this is big."

Misato leaned back, crossing her arms, "... Go on."

"I've watched you change a lot since this whole thing started Misato, and you haven't been the only one."

"I haven't changed that much."

"Don't kid yourself, even a blind man could see it. Maya, panicking of course, told me everything. You can't just go snooping around Terminal Dogma and expect not to get caught."

"Then what exactly do you suggest?"

"Talk to Kaji, he knows something and he's not telling you, probably because he's worried about you. Also..." She unwrapped her silverware, "This is going to take a while, but I'm going to tell you everything, from the beginning that is."

**-The Third Day-**

It was stupid, she knew.

This entire thing was just a joke.

When Shinji had been absorbed by the sphere above Tokyo she felt nothing but anger. This time it was different, and she didn't know why.

She grabbed her alarm clock and tossed it against the wall, screaming out in pure frustration and anger. "Why were you such an idiot?"

None of it helped.

She hadn't been to school in three days, and the text messages and missed calls to her cell phone were piling up.

Her friends were worried sick about her and Shinji, and she just couldn't bring herself to care.

"Why did I react like that?"

She collapsed on her bed, hugging her pillow to her chest.

"Why does it hurt?"

**-The Seventh Day-**

"How's it coming along?" asked Misato, leaning over her friend's chair and peeking at the computer screen.

Ritsuko's office was small, and seemed like the home of a strict person, it fit her well.

"It's going well," said Ritsuko. "The data for the process was easy enough to get my hands on, but implementing it is another story. With any luck we'll have him out within the month."

"And he'll be okay?"

Ritsuko smirked, "Like a newborn babe."

"Ritzy, I..."

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry. I got mad at you and jumped the gun again."

Ritsuko chuckled, "You've been on my neck since college, so it's never been a surprise. Besides, you had a good reason this time."

"I guess you weren't lying when you said I wasn't the only one who changed."

"No I wasn't."

"I almost broke my promise you know." Misato leaned back and stretched, her hands behind her and clasped together.

"Oh?"

"I promised to always be there, even if you wouldn't tell me anything, when we were working on the magi to stop that one angel, remember?"

"Very clearly."

Misato frowned, "You're not listening to me, are you?"

"I am, just concentrating on this. Believe it or not I have to think to do science."

Misato huffed, "Jeez."

**-The Thirtieth Day-**

I opened my eyes.

Slowly at first.

Then I saw it.

My uncle, standing over auntie Sakuya, a large knife covered in blood in his grasp.

I remembered it now.

I remembered everything.

My aunt didn't abandon me...

She was murdered.

My uncle wasn't out for weeks on drunken trists before I left for Tokyo 3...

He was in prison awaiting trial.

The police coming to my house, Haru asking about the racket, my teacher offering to take me in.

It all never fit before, but now it made sense.

Almost too much sense.

My aunt had always been there, in the blank spaces of my memory.

Loving, caring, and kind.

Like my mother.

And me...

I was a coward.

* * *

><p>The moment of truth.<p>

Misato crossed her fingers when Ritsuko leaned over Makoto, who was typing as fast as he could.

She didn't care what they were doing, as long as they got Shinji out.

Asuka and Rei stood behind her, the former looking like complete hell.

She had eventually forced herself out of bed and gone to school, but ever since Shinji had been absorbed into Unit One her grades had suffered and she was barely getting any sleep.

Misato had to practically drag her kicking and screaming out of the apartment to get her to come to the control room of NERV.

The Colonel wasn't positive, she didn't know whether or not this would work, but if it did she wanted Asuka to be there and see it.

"I've found the Ego border," said Makoto, "It's fluctuating a lot, we need to be careful."

"No point in hesitating," said Ritsuko, "Start the process."

* * *

><p>"Where am I?"<p>

**The Eva.**

"The Eva?"

**Yes, the ultimate safe haven. You'll never have to leave. You'll never have to hide behind a mask anymore.**

"I feel... warm."

* * *

><p>"The plug won't respond, the Ego Border is going crazy."<p>

"What's that mean?" shouted Misato.

Ritsuko frowned, "It means it's not working. Concentrate on damage control, close connections C5 through E12. There's no pilot so the Absolute Border is non-existant. For some reason he doesn't want to come out."

Makoto gritted his teeth, "You mean..."

Ritsuko sighed, "It's not a problem with the process. It's been done like this once before and proven under a hard case. The problem is the pilot. For some reason he doesn't want to come back."

* * *

><p><strong>You don't have to be afraid anymore.<strong>

"Afraid? Of the angels? Of my father? Of Asuka?"

**Nothing. Nothing can reach you in here. You are safe.**

"A life without fear."

**A life without pain... without a mask of empathy.**

* * *

><p>Misato gritted her teeth.<p>

"It's no good," mumbled Ritsuko.

"The plug is going haywire!"

The display screen for the docks showed on the large monitor. The plug ejected, spilling out LCL along with the pilot's uniform.

Misato's eyes widened, "Shinji?"

* * *

><p>"A life with nothing."<p>

* * *

><p>Misato felt a light tug on her sleeve. She turned and was greeted with the sight of Asuka, glaring daggers at the main screen.<p>

"Asuka?"

The pilot of Unit 02 stepped past her guardian and towards the console, "Which one of these is the comm line for the Eva?" She barely spoke above a whisper, and her voice was hoarse.

Makoto hesitated, but pointed an unsure finger towards a small blue button by the keyboard.

Asuka leaned forward, planting her left hand on the edge and clapping the other one over the button, "Shinji..."

The entire control room went silent.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" As she spoke, her voice began to rise in volume and flatten out, becoming slightly smoother. "It's been a month, and it's not like I care but there are THREE Eva's that need piloting, and everyone has been working their fingers to the bone to try to get you back."

* * *

><p>"A blank slate."<p>

* * *

><p>"You're being a complete dumbass, and I for one will not have you embarrass me anymore! If you're such a god damn hotshot then prove it, instead of wimping out and hiding away like some coward!"<p>

* * *

><p>"A life with no one."<p>

* * *

><p>"I'm tired of always having to pick up your friggin' slack! It's almost a joke! Come back and fix your own shit!"<p>

* * *

><p>The train rumbled along the tracks.<p>

Across from me sat a small boy.

I picked up the SDAT player from the floor and shoved the ear buds into my ears.

I hit the play button.

_'I will not be beaten by someone who just gives up, so you better fight, or I'll kill you!'_

I stood up and brushed my legs off.

The boy looked up at me and tilted his head.

Where are you going?

"I can't stay here."

And without another word I walked down the train car.

The door at the end opened for me.

* * *

><p>Misato gasped when the core of the Eva flashed, and out tumbled Shinji, completely bare and breathing softly.<p>

Misato rushed out of the control room and ran to the docks as fast as she could.

Asuka took a deep breath and sunk to her knees.

"... What an idiot," she mumbled.

**-Tokyo 3 Public Hospital-**

She had never liked hospitals, but this room was comfortable enough with her new friend there.

"I'm sorry for everything," said the girl softly, bowing to Touji.

"It's fine."

He turned around in his wheelchair, facing it towards the window, "Any friend of Shinji's is a friend of mine. You can wait around as long as you want, my parents are scary nice when it comes to guests, and my little sister seems to like you. None of us know where he's at and we're all worried sick."

"I hope he's okay."

"Me too Haru. Shinji and I have... been through a lot."


	21. Episode 21: The Birth of NERV

**A/N: The more I write the more I realize that if the characters just TALK TO EACH OTHER it solves a shit ton of problems.**

**BTW, there's more than one reason for Ritsuko doing what she's doing. All will be revealed in time.**

Misato gritted her teeth, setting her gun and her NERV ID card on her desk before leaning forward in her chair, "So it's come to this huh?"

"We're sorry Ma'am, but due to the nature of your relationship with Ryouji Kaji we must take precautions." Out of the three section two agents that had come to 'retrieve' her, only one of them spoke.

"I see," she said softly, "So he kidnapped Vice Commander Fuyutsuki."

"That is correct."

It was in that moment that NERV became her enemy.

"Alright. Can I make a call first?"

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that."

"It'll be to Ritsuko Akagi, you can supervise if you want to."

The agent glanced back at his two partners, one of which shrugged. He turned back to Misato, "Very well, we'll escort you to your cell when the call is finished."

Misato pulled out her cell phone and flipped it open, navigating through her phone book before hitting the send button and putting the phone to her ear.

"Hi Ritzy, it's me. I'm not gonna be able to make it. No it's fine."

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 21: The Birth of NERV**

**-One Month Ago-**

"This is going to take a while, but I'm going to tell you everything, from the beginning that is."

"Alright," said Misato with a sigh, picking up a fork and digging through the pasta without actually making a move to eat anything, "Let's hear it."

Ritsuko nodded, "Most governmental arms and giant corporations start from humble beginnings. NERV was no different. Our predecessor's made sure we'd have everything we needed to make our own lives a living hell. My mother, like me, was a scientist. Also like me, she put that before everything else, including those important to her..."

"Ritzy... I..."

Ritsuko held up a hand, "There's no need. As much as I didn't like her, I couldn't help ending up exactly like she was; it had always been my path."

"Until now."

"Yes. You and Maya helped with that." The scientist twirled the pasta around her fork before bringing it to her mouth. She didn't continue until she had swallowed, "It started with a simple paper, written by Yui Ikari."

"Shinji's mother."

"Correct, and also the spearhead of the Eva program. She was a brilliant woman. Sweet, kind, well respected, I think my mother was jealous of her ultimately."

**-Present Day-**

His head was buzzing, like he had just been hit by something. He was glad that darkness greeted his eyes when he opened them. When he mustered up enough coherence to move his neck and look up something aside from the darkness entered his vision.

A large blue rectangle, like a wall, as wide as three men with their arms out and as tall as a tree.

On the top was written:

SEELE: 01

It wasn't the only one either.

Spread out in a wide circle were the others, 02 to 09.

He tried to move, but found that he was bound to a small wooden chair.

"Who knew SEELE would ever resort to kidnapping," he mumbled to himself.

**We have brought you here for a reason Fuyutsuki.**

**You would do well to listen to what we have to say.**

**It is time we... took matters into our own hands you see. The fact that Eva Unit One has consumed an S2 organ is no laughing matter.**

**It is akin to a living God now. Nigh unstoppable.**

**This puts us in a precarious position.**

"And what do you want me to do about it?"

**We simply want answers Professor Fuyutsuki.**

He let out a bitter laugh, "Professor huh? I haven't heard that in a long time."

**-1999-**

"Yes, it's all very brilliant really." Fuyutsuki leaned his head to the side, so the phone was cradled on his shoulder, "She seems like a career woman, but I wouldn't peg her as devoting her entire life to the concept."

He wheeled around in his office chair, looking down on the college campus below through his window, "Gendo Rokubungi? Of course... some unsavory rumors in fact, and from trustworthy people... not that I hadn't given it thought, it just seems like Ikari has a brighter future ahead of her. Rokubungi is a troublemaker."

A pause.

"Yes... yes by Friday. You too, bye."

He set the phone back on its cradle and let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Not even a second later it rang again.

He picked it up, "Professor Fuyutsuki speaking."

His eyes widened, "Since when did he want me to sponsor him? Alright, fine, I'll go bail him out."

* * *

><p>Gendo Rokubungi waited patiently in front of the hospital, clutching his right arm, which had been wrapped completely in bandages. The street itself wasn't that busy, so he was allowed to wait in peace and quiet.<p>

"So, you made me your sponsor..."

Gendo nodded at the man who had approached him, "Good morning Professor."

"A bar brawl?"

"I can't help but defend myself if I'm attacked Professor. I'm not used to being liked, but hatred is very familiar to me. Did you read Yui's paper?"

Fuyutsuki raised an eyebrow, "Yes." They walked down the street, completely silent.

* * *

><p><em>"I remember what Japan was like back then. Especially that park. Is it any wonder humanity wants to go back to the way it was before Second Impact?"<em>

Yui trailed behind Fuyutsuki, backpack over her shoulder with one strap, "I heard you got mad the other day professor."

"Not mad," he said softly, "Startled yes, and I don't like him very much."

Yui chuckled, "I'm the one who recommended you to him. We've been dating for a while now."

Fuyutsuki froze and turned to her with a raised eyebrow, "Dating? He doesn't really seem to be your type."

"Not at first, but I got to know him and he can actually be nice. He just seems pretty rough."

"Well," said Fuyutsuki, "In any case, I don't like him."

Yui only laughed.

**-2002-**

_"The beginning of the twenty-first century was... hard. I don't think I've met a single person who talks about it without some trouble. I was no longer a professor, but I worked hard to find ways to help get things back to normal. Climate control, experiments, endangered species watch list. It was rough work, but I felt like I was doing something worthwhile..._

_"And then I got the transfer request."_

The large cargo ship that housed them floated along what might has well have been a sea of blood. Fuyutsuki gazed out the window of the walkway, "So this is the result of the Second Impact."

"It's good to see you again professor."

At the sound of a familiar voice, Fuyutsuki wheeled around, eyes widening, "Rokubungi, I thought you were dead."

Gendo smirked, "I received a transfer away from the site of the experiments with ADAM... and it's Ikari now?"

The former professor frowned, "Ikari?"

"Yes, we're married, and we even have a son. His name is Shinji. Walk with me Fuyutsuki."

"So you're the one who requested my presence here."

They started down the hall, and it opened into a catwalk and a large area under the deck.

Gendo nodded, "Yes, I wanted you to see it with your own eyes. Yui still talks about you, so it was hard not to share something like this with you."

"Even so, why call me all the way out here?"

"SEELE's doing very important work professor, and I'm helping them. You should know all this already. I requested your presence because I trust you."

"... I see."

* * *

><p><em>"It wasn't until later that year that the evidence started piling up, and I started getting suspicious."<em>

Fuyutsuki stormed into Gendo's large office, if the place could have even been called an office. It was more like a great hall with a desk opposite the entrance.

Gendo had always been a bit... eccentric.

He approached the desk, slamming down a stack of papers, "That transfer before the ADAM incident wasn't coincidence," he growled, "You requested it and took copies of all the research data with you!"

Gendo leaned forward, clasping his hands together, expression unchanging, "And?"

"I'm going to go public with this, and everything you've done on SEELEs behalf, what you've done here is unnacceptable, and I'm ashamed that I even once called you my student!"

"Before you do that come with me. I want to show you what I've been really working on for the past year."

He lead the way out of the building to what looked like a small tram leading down. Fuyutsuki hadn't notcied it on the way in, but it clearly lead underground somewhere.

When they stepped on he hadn't been expecting what was coming.

The tram broke ground to a gigantic cavern.

Fuyutsuki's jaw dropped.

The entire thing was impossibly huge, and carved into a perfect sphere. At the bottom were the makings a facility, even surrounded by a few roads... an underground city in the making. Clearly not an effect of nature, nor was it man-made.

* * *

><p>"This facility is quite large."<p>

Gendo nodded, leading Fuyutsuki around another corner, "We're heading to Central Research right now, it's right around this corner."

He hadn't been expecting what he saw.

Giant servers covering the walls of a large room, in the corner was a small desk with several computers, and at that desk was one of his old colleagues, "Dr. Akagi?"

The woman had aged well.

Her daughter Ritsuko was behind her, watching her work on the small computers.

The elder Akagi turned and smiled, "Oh, Professor Fuyutsuki, it's been quite a while. Is Mr. Ikari showing you around?"

"Y... yes. What is all this?'

"This," she said proudly, "Is my life's work, a state of the art biotechnological computer, the MAGI system."

"The MAGI, as in the three wise men?"

She laughed, "Well, yes. Ritsuko, you can head home now, I'll be in a bit."

Ritsuko nodded softly, a bang of black hair falling over her eyes, "Sure..."

Dr. Akagi and Gendo lead him down another long hallway, which broke into yet another large chamber. What he saw before had been amazing, but this...

Hanging from a darkened ceiling and lighted by a large spotlight were the makings of a giant, humanoid... thing in armor. Its body had yet to be complete, and its hands and spine were hanging limply from the ceiling.

"This is that giant of light that attacked the Antarctica facility?"

"No," said Gendo, "But it borrows from that creature. We're going to change the world Professor, this prototype will be our tool, and as a part of GEHIRN, you can help us shepherd humanity into the future."

**-Present Day-**

Fuyutsuki fumbled with his binds a bit, cracking his neck and trying to adjust his position. "It wasn't long until it happened."

The incident in the testing labs for Unit One?

"Yes. Yui Ikari was killed in a freak accident, and her son was there. A small child saw the whole thing. After that... Gendo... he changed. Yui had been right about him, there was a normal man among all that muck, but after she died, I think that man died with her. He initiated the Instrumentality project, and has been pursuing it relentlessly ever since. GEHRIN was disbanded and renamed NERV, all staff were transferred... save one."

**-One Month Ago-**

"My Mother. I didn't know what happened to her... At least not until Maya started digging around. Those files you had her fetch were on the employees in the GEHRIN days. I joined up right out of college, just like you, but I was sent to work at the facility where my mother was. Officially it was labeled an 'accident', but it was actually suicide."

Misato didn't know how to respond to that.

For the past ten years she and Ritsuko had slowly grown apart. They still went out together frequently, but it was shallow. Gone were the days of college when they could comfortably talk to each other about everything.

Yet here Ritsuko sat, spilling her guts about everything she had held back... everything she should have talked about before now but chose not to.

Ritsuko had said she'd changed, and that in itself was evidenced, but what caused this sudden shift?

"My mother threw herself over the edge of the control area and landed head first on top of the MAGI system. At first, I blamed Rei Ayanami." She pushed the file forward and opened it.

In it were two papers, the rest had presumably been removed by Ritsuko.

One was a profile on Rei Ayanami when she was a very young girl, the other was on Ritsuko's mother, both included pictures. "If not for my... inate sense of curiosity I probably would have hated her until the day I died."

"Why would you blame Rei?"

"She was the last one to see my mother alive, then she disappeared for a week, and came back to GEHRIN at Gendo's foot again. I knew it in my gut, something she did caused my mother to kill herself."

"But she was just a child, I mean..."

"Exactly," said Ritsuko, resting her chin on the palm of her hand and fiddling with her food, "Children don't know any better, right? After I caught Maya in the old office I decided to... utilise her."

"How so?"

"After she stopped hyperventilating we dug up old security footage."

"What did you find?"

"Something fascinating, something that shattered my hypothesis, something that changed me. If you hadn't sent Maya down there I never would have found it, honestly. I suppose I should thank you. Would you like to see it?"

"Please."

"Also, you should know something about Rei, but I can't tell you here. Shinji needs to hear it as well... as soon as we get him out of Unit One. Can I have it on good faith that he'll be the only one you'll tell?"

"Of course."

"Alright then." Ritsuko nodded and reached down to her bag, this time pulling out a small compact disc and sliding it towards Misato, "That disk destroyed everything I thought I knew, and I'd like you to destroy it in turn when you're done watching the footage."

"I can do that."

"Good, then hopefully we can put this whole mess behind us." Ritsuko leaned forward, propping her right elbow up and sticking out her pinky, "Misato, I've been a real bitch."

"You still are," said Misato, grinning and clasping their pinkies together, "But that doesn't mean we can't be friends."

**-Present Day-**

"You could be killed for this you know," said Fuyutsuki.

Kaji laughed, untying the restraints on the old man's wrists, "I'm simply a seeker of the truth. Of course... I gained a few partners along the way, but there's always risks in my line of work."

Fuyutsuki stood, rubbing his wrists as he followed Kaji out into the hallway, "I can respect that, I was a man like you once. Are you working for SEELE, NERV, or someone else?"

"I work for myself, I have no allegiances except my own."

"You spoke of partners?"

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>I hesitated at first.<p>

I honestly didn't know what I would say to her, much less where to start.

Eventually though, I gathered up my courage and knocked on Asuka's bedroom door, "Asuka, you in there?"

"Go away!"

I sighed, "Listen, I... I just want to thank you."

"Yeah? And what the hell did I do?"

"Stop playing games, you know damn well I'm only standing here right now because of what you did. Can I come in or not?"

A moment of silence.

"The doors unlocked."

I opened the door slowly, and when I was inside I shut it behind me. Asuka was laying on her bed, glaring up at the ceiling like she usually did at me, "What do you want?" she grumbled.

"I already told you."

"Well if you're done thanking me then get out."

I walked to her bed and sat down on the edge of it, and before she could scream at me in protest I spoke, "I'm angry," I said softly, "I'm angry at my father for what he did, and I'll never forgive him, but mostly I'm just angry at myself. When I was in there it was comfortable. I honestly didn't want to leave. It felt safe... and warm."

"If you wanted to stay so bad then why didn't you?"

"I thought that was pretty obvious at this point."

Before she could speak I leaned down, pushing my lips onto hers.

Her hands immediately snaked around my neck.

When I finally pulled away her face was red and her glare intensified, but she didn't hit me, or yell at me, or do any of the things she usually did.

There were no words.

She grabbed my collar and pulled me back down.

* * *

><p>The place had been abandoned, it was perfect. An old warehouse on the edge of Tokyo-3, still with running power, occupied by eerie steel hallways.<p>

Kaji leaned against the screen in front of the large fan. The constant noise of each blade spinning past him was comfortable in its own way.

He heard foot steps and looked up, "Oh, hi, you're kind of late aren't you?"

Click.


	22. Episode 22: Picking Up the Pieces

**A/N: I'M BACK IN THE USA AND FEELING GREAT! I considered titling this chapter Mind Rape, but that's just silly and immature of me.**

Asuka frowned, arms behind her head as she stared up at the night sky from the deck of the Over the Rainbow. The sound of the waves against the boat's hull were calming, but she was restless; restless because she would be separated from the man laying down next to her. The battleship they were on was taking them to Japan. The first time Asuka heard of the transfer she was angry, as she had every right to be, being separated from her precious Kaji.

"I guess we'll be arriving in Japan tomorrow. I'm gonna be staying with Misato, you remember her right? Too bad, I don't like the way she does things. She's so... boring."

Kaji stayed silent, a frown on his face.

"Oh well, I guess if it means more missions I'm okay with that. Still, I hate to be away from you Kaji."

Kaji's muscles tightened, "I'm sure you'll meet plenty of boys over in Japan. Besides, I hear the third child is a tough little bastard, the perfect match for you."

"Boriiiiing, the only one I want is you Kaji!" Asuka rolled, landing on top of Kaji's chest and nuzzling into it with her forehead.

Kaji didn't move, his muscles still drawn tight. He could feel them beginning to ache. He wanted to be firm with her, but... her past. "I'm too old for you Asuka."

"Come on. It's not that big of a deal Kaji! I want you and only you! Kissing and all that stuff is okay, so you can go ahead and do anything you want!"

"Listen... Asuka..." Kaji's gaze was firm, planted on the night sky.

"Why won't you look at me?" Asuka reached up and grasped the collar of her summer dress, pulling it apart, "LOOK AT ME!"

Asuka jolted up in bed, covered in a cold sweat and gasping for air. She looked around herself, and her breaths began to calm when she realized she was in her room at Misato's place.

Then again... this was supposed to be Shinji's room, wasn't it?

She growled, wiping the sweat from her brow and glaring at the darkness, "Dammit, what the hell is wrong with me? Why do I keep thinking about that idiot?"

**Neon Genesis Evangelion: Empathy**

**Episode 22: Picking up the Pieces**

The scene was hazy at best. All that Asuka could see was her mother through the window, laying in the hospital bed and cradling the small ginger haired doll with a smile on her face.

Only the smile was... wrong somehow.

It felt out of place; it felt broken.

"There there Asuka darling." Kyouko stroked the doll gently, smiling wide. "Just ignore that strange girl looking at us, I'm sure she'll only cause trouble if we give her any attention."

Asuka's hands tightened into fists.

**"To think that would happen, was it overexposure or..."**

**"More than likely. She's completely insane. She treats the doll like the girl, while the girl can only look on. It's a shame, I feel sorry for her."**

**"Hmph, I didn't realize you could feel that way with the things we've done."**

**"Hmhmhm, I may be a scientist, but I'm a woman first you know."**

Her grandma's crying face.

She didn't know when she made it from that hospital to the field. The black casket wasn't above ground for long. A lot of people were crying, including her grandmother.

"I'm so sorry this happened dear child. If you need to cry it's all right."

Asuka glared, "I won't ever cry again Grandmother, I don't need to."

**"Asuka darling..."**

**"Asuka..."**

_"Asuka!"_

Here eyes snapped open, "Shinji?"

_"You alright? Your synch is abysmal."_

"Y... yeah, I'm fine! Why the hell are you asking?"

_"Sheesh, I'm just worried about you, you were doing fine a minute ago then your graphs started looking like a cliff side."_

"Oh shut up!"

_"He's right you know,"_ said Misato.

She heard Ritsuko chuckle, _"Oh? It seems you're back up to speed again, how fortunate that Shinji was able to help you."_

"Wha... help me? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Hey!"

_"Just take it easy, you're the best pilot I know, there's no need to push yourself,"_ said Shinji.

"I know that you idiot! Besides, you should be more worried about yourself, coming back to this so soon after getting eaten by your own Eva."

_"That... won't be happening again."_

"And how do you know that?"

_"I just do okay? Now concentrate on your synch."_

_"Well Shinji, since I'm pretty much your big sister you gotta tell me what kind of ring you're getting her, and I HAVE to be the maid of honor."_

Asuka growled, "God dammit! Everyone just shut up!"

* * *

><p>The apartment was quiet that night. The mood while I cooked dinner was pretty heavy, but I tried not to let it get me down. I felt a pit in my stomach, like something was coming but I wasn't sure what.<p>

"Dammit!" I heard Misato curse from behind me, and when I turned my head away from the pan I saw her giving her phone a death glare. "That idiot leaves me with info and then just disappears! That's so like him I swear! Just when we were getting to the bottom of things too!"

"Kaji trouble?" I asked.

"You don't know the half of it!"

I shrugged, "He'll probably drop in when he feels like it. It's what he always does."

Misato was silent at that. She picked up the phone and dialed a number, probably Kaji's, and held it to her ear. After a few moments I saw her bite her bottom lip and drop the phone.

"Misato?"

She was crying.

"I'm just... worried. Everything that's happened so far. I didn't realize how deep we were getting, and then Kaji gave me this data stick and didn't call me and I started freaking out."

I left the pan where it was and walked to Misato, "Data stick? What happened?"

"It was all his remaining theories and evidence... everything. He told me it was to help me but... but I think..."

"What?"

"I don't know if he's coming back Shinji."

"Wait, you mean... what the hell is on that stick?"

"I know you've been looking just as hard as me, but I don't want you involved in this Shinji, it's for your own good."

"Wait, are you telling me you're gonna be doing something by yourself?"

"I'm not alone, I... I can't tell you, just listen to me Shinji, please."

"Kaji isn't dead, there's no way he is."

Misato went silent again.

"Who would water his garden?"

"His... garden?"

"He has a garden of watermelons on a small back path to NERV HQ. There's no way he would go anywhere without telling anyone to water them."

For some reason she wrapped her arms around me and let out a deep sigh. "I'm not sure about any of this anymore, but he would want me to keep going. I know he would."

"It's something to do with my fa... with Gendo, isn't it?"

"Whoever Kaji is working for suspects something, and I can't help but agree with them," she mumbled, "But you have to stay out of this."

"If it's that bastard then that's all the more reason I should know."

"Shinji, he's your father."

"I can't forgive him. He tried to make me kill my friend. I can't forgive him for that. I hate him."

Misato sighed and rested her chin on my head, "I'm sorry Shinji."

"Ahem."

We both pulled away and turned to see Asuka in the hallway, who was pointing at the front door with a glare, "What were you two doing that neither of you heard the doorbell?"

For some reason I felt ashamed. "Um... talking?"

Her glare landed on me, "Talking, you and I are going to be_ talking_ later Shinji, that's for sure."

"Um..."

She stormed down the hallways and answered the door, "Touji? You're looking a lot better!"

As soon as I heard Asuka's voice I bolted around Misato and straight for the hallway. Asuka moved out of the way just as I reached the front door panting, "Touji?"

He looked good, the crutch he was on didn't suit him, "Doc says I'll be up to speed in no time. My sister gave me a good knock on the head for being stupid though."

I couldn't say anything. I tried to open my mouth, but no words would come. Touji was almost completely recovered. "I..."

He held up a hand, "Don't say you're sorry dumbass. I heard the story from Misato, seems like you were just as pissed as I was. Where have you been this past month? Misato just said she can't say anything, and we've all been really worried about you man."

"I... it's uh... it's a long story. Do you wanna come in?"

"Nah, not me. I was escorting someone. I never brought her before because I wasn't sure what was going on, but I heard you were back and decided to swing by with her."

"Shin-chan? Is that you?"

Words could not describe what ran through my brain in the second that Touji took to step to the side. Behind him was a girl about my height with long black hair, and a smile that could melt iron, "Haru?"

And then Asuka knocked me upside the head, "And who is this, huh?"

"She's just a friend!"

"You've got a lot of explaining to do idiot!"

"Oh don't worry," said Haru with a giggle, "I lost my chance when he moved here."

For some reason my face was turning red. "Chance?"

"Oh well, too bad for me I guess. It's been a long time."

* * *

><p>Dinner was lively, even though Asuka had fire in her eyes she and Haru actually got along quite well. Touji joined us and I had to cook a bit more, but we ended up chatting away for two hours without even realizing.<p>

Misato was completely silent and still worried, but it was obvious she was feeling a bit better. The way she moved, the way she smiled a little when one of us made a stupid joke.

That feeling.

That feeling I had whenever I woke up and my aunt cooked me breakfast, whenever she shielded me from the beatings my uncle gave me.

That feeling I had when I recalled the vague memory of my mother.

A place where a person could belong.

A place with family.

I was frightened, but I knew I could fight. The month spent in the Eva felt like one night, but it was all me. I was hiding. I thought I had died.

I didn't want to fight the angels anymore.

I had reached my breaking point.

I looked at Asuka as she talked with Haru and smiled.

When she saw me she gave a little huff and turned away.

This was a feeling I could get used to.

"I hope Shin-chan isn't giving you too much trouble. He likes to talk before he thinks."

"I resent that."

"Oh, I have methods."

"And by methods you mean your fist, which has given me more bruises than I can count."

"Quit whining."

I looked at Haru and raised an eyebrow, "See what I have to deal with?"

Haru sighed and nodded, "Thank you for the meal. I should be going."

I frowned, "Wait, hold up, we haven't even talked that much."

"That's okay, I'll be back, and I'm staying with Touji here. He's been a real gentleman. Besides, I need to call my Mom again." She smiled, "I'm really glad you're okay Shin-chan. It was great to see you again."

"Yeah, same here."

She gave a soft wave and smiled before ducking out with Touji, who might as well have been her valet if it weren't for the crutch.

Then Asuka's glare turned back to me.

* * *

><p>Ritsuko leaned forward, fiddling with her small lunch, stirring it around with the fork. She sighed and rubbed her forehead, "More trouble."<p>

Misato raised an eyebrow and grasped the table with her hands, giving the cafeteria around them a quick look, "Bugs?"

"Mine," said Ritsuko with a smile, "It's safe. Apparently NERV is working on the next Eva units. All the way up to thirteen. They're being constructed in seven different locations around the world."

"Already, huh? What does this have to do with us?"

"You should know Misato. You saw it a while back. The Evas are basically a blueprint of ADAM with a few tweeks here and there. Is it really that hard to figure out that they're planning something?"

Misato gritted her teeth, "Kaji could be out there, hurt or worse, and you're withholding information from me?" She scoffed and turned away, "Unbelievable."

Ritsuko smirked, "I wouldn't assume he was down for the count just yet. The people he's working for are stupid, but he's not."

"Alright, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt since we're friends, but if you're lying to me, or holding something back that could hurt someone..."

"I'm only holding it back because the kid needs to hear it too."

"Shinji?"

"Yes, Shinji. It's important that he knows what's going on just as much as we do."

"And why is that?"

"Because he's at the center of it all, and unless he's in on this things are going to go very wrong, very quickly. Not that we'll be doing nothing mind you, he's simply as essential as the rest of us are."

"I didn't want to involve him."

"You don't have a choice Misato. After all, he's the only one that can pilot Unit One. Bring him to Terminal Dogma tomorrow and I'll explain everything"

* * *

><p>Asuka gritted her teeth, bending her back a bit and massaging her side, "Dammit, no wonder I'm temperamental." She took a few deep breaths and tried not to let the pain of the cramp distract her. Her synch rate was a bit lower, but not as bad as it had been when Shinji was stuck in Unit One.<p>

The hallway back to the elevator leading to the upper lobby of NERV was an inviting sight, especially when she felt like a knife was digging into her and twisting.

As she reached the elevator the pain faded and she took a breath of relief before hitting the up button.

The doors opened and she let out a sigh when she saw that Rei was already occupying the elevator, "Whatever," she mumbled, stepping on and standing next to Rei, "You just get done too?"

"Yes."

"How'd you do?"

"Fairly well."

Asuka huffed, "Damn you're boring, at least try to hold a conversation or something."

"I do not recall you ever being interested in my activities before now Asuka."

"And I never gave you permission to use my given name, so I guess that makes us even, REI."

For some reason Rei smiled, and while Asuka felt herself getting even more annoyed, she also noticed that she no longer thought of Rei as a doll.

"Whatever, it's still creepy how stoic you are, you should at least try to work on yourself!"

"I see."

"Stop mindlessly replying to everything I say!"

"You relate well to your Eva I see."

"What? Relate? To a machine?"

"So you don't know? The Eva's are not simply machines."

Asuka pursed her lips.

Was that really true?

* * *

><p>The next day seemed calm, tranquil. It was all routine. Misato drove Shinji and Asuka, and they all got out in front of NERV headquarters to start their day. The descent to the geofront was quiet, but comfortable.<p>

They were in their plugsuits and standing on their respective docks before they knew it.

Instead of getting into her own Eva though, Asuka simply stared at hers.

Was it really alive?

She thought back to the times when Shinji spoke to her of the Evas and angels. Her memory was vague, but there was always something about the way he talked, almost like he thought of the Eva as a person with a will of its own.

It seemed he wasn't so much piloting it as he was guiding it.

"So," she whispered, "does that mean you have a name?"

Before she could continue, the ground below her shook.

_**"Alert, alert. All pilots proceed to their Units!"**_

She didn't hear the full announcement, but she didn't have to.

* * *

><p>My grip tightened around the controls of my Eva.<p>

_"Each Eva has been equipped with rifles,"_ said Misato, _"Shinji, you will be on backup. Unit Zero will be at the head and Unit Two will be support."_

_"Got it!"_

_"Affirmitave."_

"Wait, why am I on standby?"

_"The angel is hovering just above the atmosphere, if one of you gets hurt you'll be able to act more quickly Shinji."_

_"Alright, let's do this already!"_

I could feel the docks lurch when the other Evas were launched, and I was left waiting, trying not to worry too much. I had never just been thrown on backup like that. My first thought was that it had something to do with my outburst against Gendo.

* * *

><p>Asuka leveled the rifle. The reticule on her viewing monitor began to align itself.<p>

Rei took position in front of her on the street, also leveling her rifle towards the atmosphere. Even under zoom they could barely make out the angel.

The clouds were thick, and a hard rain was falling. A small part in the sky exposed what appeared to be the angel.

It was the first angel that looked the part, Asuka thought.

It had the vague shape of a man. It was a shining white, almost as if it were made of light. What looked like wings spread out from what might have been its back.

For some reason Asuka's mouth went dry, she didn't like that look of that thing.

"Line up," she muttered.

Her reticule danced around, attempting to get lined up with the angel.

"Rei, how's your reticule?"

_"Still lining up."_

"Dammit."

She smirked when her reticule beeped, finally aligning itselfd, "Eat this you son of a..."

And then everything stopped.

The clouds parted further, exposing the sun's rays, which fell on her Eva.

She felt something.

Something foreign.

_"It's attacking the ego border!"_

_"What?"_

Then the pain came.

Asuka screamed, jerking the rifle and pulling the trigger.

The energy bullet collided with a building, toppling it in an explosion. She stumbled back, hands falling from the controls and grasping her head as she screamed.

She felt something probing.

Crawling around in her mind.

It was like a thousand spiders crawling over her skin, biting her.

Memories, images, words, things she thought forgotten were yanked to the forefront of her mind.

A math equation she hadn't used since middle school.

A few words her grandma said that were insignificant.

A drawing she made with crayons.

"Stop it!"

A small cat dead on the side of the road.

"STOP!"

Detention for back talking a teacher.

"GET OUT OF MY MIND!"

Her hands tightened around her forehead in a futile attempt to keep out whatever was inside of her.

"Stop. I can't move, please stop!"

Her eyes slowly opened.

Train tracks.

Trains.

She looked around herself, her feet scraping against the gravel of the train yard.

Then she felt something brush her shoulder.

Her eyes widened, "No..."

* * *

><p>I gritted my teeth, "Launch Eva One!"<p>

_"No, Rei is there."_

Gendo's voice.

My grip tightened around the controls, "Are you planning on killing all of my friends or something? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Eva One is a security risk, it has absorbed an S2 organ."

I could barely hear him over Asuka's screams.

* * *

><p>Hands grabbed at her.<p>

The train yard disappeared.

She was surrounded by laughter.

Mauled.

Assaulted.

Defiled.

All she could do was scream and fall.

"SHINJIIIIII!"

* * *

><p>The control panel flashed and I pushed the handles forward. Eva 01 stripped itself from the dock.<p>

_"This is the second time you've disobeyed an order Shinji. You will be detained."_

"Shut up!"

_"I see you're not willing to let this go. Rei, retrieve the lance."_

_"What? But sir... isn't that..."_

_"I understand. Rei?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Did you hear me?"_

_"I did."_

I saw Unit 00 begin moving on my monitor, and decided it was time to make my exit. I knelt down deep and leapt, catching the wall and digging in with my hands. I started to climb, "Asuka, hang on!"

* * *

><p>"I don't want this... not again..."<p>

A small girl walked slowly down the halls of the hospital. She brought a simple gift with her, a flower. Maybe her mother would notice her if she brought something this time.

It was worth a try, she thought.

Finally coming upon her mother's room, the girl glared in determination and opened the door.

The flower fell to the floor.

Two ropes hung from the ceiling, one taught around a human neck, the other holding a doll.

The doll her mother always held.

It smiled endlessly as it spun around on the rope.

Her mother didn't spin.

She only swung back and forth, slowly.

"STOP IT!"

"PLEASE!"

"NOT AGAIN!"

Asuka knelt down, grasping her head and shaking it furiously.

A small playground...

Where she used to play as a child while her mother worked.

"Are you lonely?"

She looked up. In front of her was herself, only... small, a child.

"Are you lonely?"

Asuka glared, "I said I wouldn't cry, not again."

The little girl reached for her.

"Will you be okay?"

"Leave me alone!"

The small hand flinched away, and the little girl dissolved into ashes.

"I don't need anyone... I don't need anyone."

"I'm fine on my own."

"I won't cry."

"I won't be lonely."

"I won't be sad."

"I won't have to rely on anyone else to carry me!"

"Especially that idio..."

A hand landed on her shoulder.

Her every movement a struggle, she turned her head to look behind her and saw a smiling face.

"Gotcha... Partner."

"Shinji?"

* * *

><p>I pulled the controls as hard as I could, jumping from the docking platform and taking to a sprint as soon as I landed.<p>

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HER!"

Another jerk of the controls and I barreled into Unit 02. We both went tumbling to the ground, and I felt the impact of every building we ran into.

My synch ratio was skyrocketed, and I wanted to tear something limb from limb.

"Asuka! Are you alright?"

_"Shin... ji..."_

I barely noticed Unit 00 taking position next to us. In its hands was a long lance of dark red color, forked at its halfway point into two very sharp looking prongs.

Rei took a pose, looking like she was ready to throw it.

_"I'm sorry I didn't make it in time Shinji, Asuka, but it will hurt you no longer."_

Unit 00 stepped forward, and with one smooth and powerful motion, threw the lance into the sky.

All I saw was the clouds vanish, and a bright light engulf the sky.

* * *

><p>The minute I exited my Eva at the external docks I had guards converging on me, with Gendo at the head.<p>

I gritted my teeth.

Getting arrested again was not how I wanted this to play out. My knees were still shaking, and I was worried sick about Asuka. I wanted to find her, talk to her.

My shoulders slumped as the guards approached, and I wasn't expecting it when Misato stepped in front of me.

"I'd say Shinji just did two things," said Misato.

Gendo halted his advance, and the guards followed his every movement, "And what would those things be Colonel Katsuragi?"

"First he proved that Eva One was in operating condition and ready for a mission, even after absorbing an S2 I see little risk here. Second, he just saved the life of one of our best pilots."

"... I see."

"Under these conditions I'd say Shinji is perfectly certifiable to be in the cockpit of an Eva, and not say... locked behind bars. Wouldn't you just be throwing away one of your best assets?"

"An asset that doesn't follow orders. The pilot of Unit Zero was retreiving the lance."

"And what if she had been too late... sir? This situation hardly justifies arrest. Besides, last time I checked Shinji is neither an employee of NERV nor a soldier, you have no right to arrest him unless you have the grounds to say he committed a crime."

Several moments passed, and Gendo didn't say a word.

Finally, after a long wait, he simply turned around and walked away, taking his guards with him.

Misato turned to me and smiled, "Well? What are you waiting for?"

I nodded and started to walk across the top of the docks. NERV engineers rushed to and fro, examining the Evas and making sure everything checked out.

At the end of the concrete dock sat Asuka, hugging her knees to her chest.

She was surrounded by orange CAUTION tape.

"You can't go over there!" shouted one of the engineers, "She's been exposed to an angel, who knows what that thing did to her."

I ignored the remark and continued forward.

"Your funeral kid!"

I pulled the tape up and stepped under it, walking to Asuka and sitting down next to her.

Without a word she leaned her head into my shoulder, and I wrapped an arm around her.

I looked down when I felt something wet on my shoulder, and noticed she was crying.

It wasn't a wail, but the tears came quickly and didn't show any signs of stopping.

Asuka herself was completely silent.


End file.
